Page 34 of All My Love


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There’s a pause, and for a split second, I think I’ll get something from her. An apology or worry or concern or… something.

I should have known better.

“You went on a date with him, Stella. What did you expect?”

Okay, there it is.

That one.That onehurt. I put my head down, staring at my shoes and ignoring the presence that has filled the doorway, blocking the light.

“I expected a human to respect my wishes and my personal space, at the very least.” I roll my lips together, fighting back my true responses, knowing they’ll just make things worse. “I went on that date as a courtesy to you, not because we were a match made in heaven. It was a blind date, Mother.”

“I set you up because you’re nearing 30, still single, and throwing your life away.” I take a deep, deep breath, trying to regulate my emotions the way my psychiatrist always tells me to, but any sense of calm is thrown out the window when she changes to a more treacherous subject.

“And why is that boy calling you hiswife, Stella Jane?”

In the moment, Riggins yelling that in a crowded bar, protecting me and my honor feltgood. Great, even.

But now I hate that he did it, hate that he outed us like that.

I’ve spent seven years holding on tight to that secret. Something I kept close to my chest, the last flimsy thread tying me to my past life, to Riggins. It always felt as if no one else knew, I didn’t have to force a divorce, didn’t need to finalize the ending of this part of my life. But with my secret out…

“Stella Jane…” she says in my silence, and I sigh, finally letting this secret out.

“Because technically, I am his wife.”

The silence is scathing, burning up the line with her fury.

“What the fuck do you mean by that?”

I sigh. There’s no point in continuing to lie. If she wanted to, she could get the information, I’m sure. I’m surprised no one had dug it up before then, that no one had dug into Riggins’ life and found he had a wife, a marriage formed in the dead of night in a little chapel in Vegas, but done all the same.

“I mean, when I was 20, I married Riggins Greene in Vegas. It was never dissolved.”

Again, the silence.

But as expected, it doesn’t last long.

“Are youfucking kidding me?” she bellows, making me flinch.

“Mom—” I start, though I’m unsure of what I’d say.

“I said, are youfucking kidding me?”

“Mom, it’s not—” I can’t finish because, as she tends to do, she cuts me off.

“It’s not what?! Not a big deal? Not important? God, Stella. I told you then, Itold yougetting wrapped up with him was going to ruin your fucking life. Now look at you. You can’t even get a good boy to date you. And even if I could convince Parker to go on another date with you, you’redamaged goods!No wonder you’re sad all the time. You threw your life away!”

“I’m genuinely not sure what would make you think I’d go on another date with Parker, but okay, Mom. And I’m also unsure of how getting married, a marriage that, I’ll remind you, you had no clue about until minutes ago, hasruined my life.” She scoffs, and although I opened the door, I wish I could slam it shut, knowing what’s coming for me.

“What have you done with your life, Stella? You work at a fucking diner. You’re a loser. You have no friends, no husband, no kids. No prospects. No fucking clue how you bought that shithole of a house, but it’s just another decision in a mile-long list that you should have fucking listened to me about. But no. You don’t; you throw it all away.”

The waters rise, leaving me squeaking out a word.

“Mom—” She cuts me off again.

“Get a divorce, Stella.”

It stings, even though it shouldn’t.

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