AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Her reply is almost right away.
Dr. Mendes: I’m free from eight to ten. Feel free to come by when you drop off the girls.
“This is good,” I tell myself as I make my way over to pick up the girls. “This is very good.”
As soon as I get the girls, I get home and make dinner while the girls watch a bit of television. They devour the tacos as if they didn’t snack when they got home. Only when Luna pushes her plate away do I get up.
“Okay,” I say, grabbing the dinner plate off the counter, “time for homework.” I look over at Rain, who nods before getting off her stool and going over to grab her schoolbag. I wipe down the counter before she plops her bag on it. “Luna, go get a workbook.” I point at the stack of workbooks I bought a couple of weeks ago. She was so jealous that Rain got to do homework she was fit to be tied. I printed out a couple of sheets for kindergarten kids and she excelled at it. So I ordered a couple of activity books for her to do while Rain does her own homework.
I toss the rag into the sink with the plate before I wash and dry my hands. “Okay, what do we have here?” I ask as I grab her folder with all of her homework in it. A spelling test from two days ago showing she got them all right. “Look at this,” I say with a huge smile on my face, “one hundred and two percent.” I turn the page around to show Rain and Luna.
“I got the bonus word.” She smiles. “You have to sign it.” She gives me instructions as I nod and sign my name.
We go through her words for this week, even though she has all week. She does her twenty minutes of reading before it’s time for a bath. This is our new normal, and I have to admit the girls are doing better than I thought they would. To be fair, in the last months before Benji died, he stopped joining us for dinner, even when he wasn’t on the road. He would tell the girls he had to practice, so they never really asked questions. I was the only one who knew he was lying. He would occasionally show up to tuck them in, but I could have counted on one hand when that happened. I was living in a world of hell, and I made sure no one knew the truth. It was my burden to live with, but I was finally letting it go.
The next day, I arrive at Dr. Mendes’s office just after eight, coffee in hand for me and one for her. “Good morning.” She looks up from her desk with a bright smile on her face, like always.
“It is a good morning.” I hand her her white cup of coffee before I sit down with my own. “I don’t think it’s been this good of a morning for a long, long time.”
“I didn’t know what to expect,” Dr. Mendes says, sitting in the chair facing me. “Anytime anyone asks for emergency sessions, things usually are not good.”
I smile at her as I take a sip of coffee. “This might be one of those rare times, then.” She waits for me to tell her more. “I have a job offer.” Her eyes go big in surprise. “I know, that’s the exact look I had.”
“How did all of this come about?” she asks.
“On Sunday, I woke up and started my list for the week. What I wanted to do for the girls and the other what I wanted to do for me.” She nods while I talk. “I was going to learn to skate for the girls.” I shake my head, knowing I would have tried and I would have fallen on my ass, but I would have tried, and that is all that mattered. “And then I put find a job for me.”
“Okay,” she murmurs, not sure she is following.
“And well, I was talking to someone about it, and their sister owns Zara’s Closet.” Even she knows the name because she gasps. “I know,” I say excitedly. “She called me, and she offered me a job.”
“That’s incredible.” She takes her own sip of coffee.
“We are going to have a Zoom meeting today at one,” I confirm. “I have a list of questions I’m nervous to ask, but I figured that she called me, so she might give in a bit.” I reach for my phone and open the list of questions. “I mean, it’s all little things, but my main thing is being able to be there for the kids. I’m not going to be missing one thing they do. I’m talking every school event. I want to go on field trips, obviously.” I smile. “I’ll probably curse and hate every minute of them, but that is what I want to do. I want to make sure I sit at the dinner table with them every night.” The smile on my face is still there, but the tears in my eyes are forming.
“I want to tuck them in. I want to wake them up. I want to prepare lunches even though by now I’m pulling out my hair because Rain’s not eating any of it because she’s already fed up with it.” The tear rolls down my face. “But I am going to be there for each moment of their lives because when they look back on it, that is the only thing I want them to remember.” I sniff.
“What I don’t want them to remember is their father choosing not to be there. I don’t want them to remember that their mother fell apart when it happened. I don’t want them to remember I spent time before he died trying to find proof he was an addict, but each time telling myself that maybe it was in my head. I don’t want them to remember I was so tired of being so happy all the time that it hurt to smile. I want them to know that every single time I smiled, it was because I was happy. So if she can be okay with all of this, then I will take her job.” Fuck, after saying all that, my chest gets tight, and I have to cough because of the pressure. All of that came out and I didn’t do it as a sobbing fucking mess, so to me, that’s progress. I did it with a smile on my face, even if tears were rolling down my face. I also did it with a little less hatred than I thought I would be doing it with. I’ve noticed the hatred has started to fade away a little each day. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I hated Benji with every single cell in my body, but I was able to compartmentalize it so my girls never felt my hatred toward him.
“I think anyone who gets to hire you would be really lucky to have you.” I inhale deeply at her words.
“I think so also,” I agree with her. “I think so also,” I repeat. The smile on my face is huge as I take another sip of coffee.
I leave with a clearer mind and almost skip toward my SUV, and when I get off the phone with Zara six hours later, I now have a job.
It is strange, but when I sit down that night after the girls are tucked in, the only person I really want to talk to is the only person I was not talking to since Saturday. Before I can talk myself out of it, I send him a text. I don’t know if I should or not, but I also know I’ll be seeing him on Saturday with the girls, so this will be less awkward.
Me: Sandra Bullock was also great in Miss Congeniality.
I hit send before I can erase it, and at that text, I hang my head. “Smooth,” I scold to myself, “very smooth.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
christopher
My phone vibrated from beside my plate, and I turn it over to see that it’s Koda. I look around the table at the guys since we are having a team dinner before our game tomorrow in Detroit. I look over to my right at Cole to see if he’s paying attention to me, but he’s locked into a conversation with Nick. My eyes go back down to read the text, and I shake my head, trying not to laugh too loud and get eyes looking at me.
Koda: Sandra Bullock was also great in Miss Congeniality.
