AllFreeNovel
Share Us
He didn’t deny it. Instead, he simply reached up and smoothed my braid over my shoulder like he had done it a million times before. Before I could question him again, he pulled me to him and hugged me tightly. The gesture caught me so off guard I didn’t know what to do but hug him back. He held on for a long moment then stepped away from me.
“It might be a while until I see you here again.”
“What? Why?”
He disappeared from my sight. I moved towards the spot where he was standing and stopped. There was no trace of him.
?????
As I sat up from my dream, I shivered at the sweat dampening my forehead and shirt. I sucked in a heavy breath as my eyes adjusted to the brightness shining in from my window. Cassius was standing at the foot of my bed watching me.
“Bad dream?” He raised his eyebrow at me.
He had always told me he didn’t remember me when he woke up. Was that true or was he trying to keep me at a distance? Did he know me or something about my past?
“How long have I been out?”
“Almost a full day.” He cocked his head to the side like he was studying me. Did I miss the second trial?
“I should be up getting ready for the trial.”
“There isn’t one today, but you should eat. I brought you some food.”
The aroma of the soup and bread he brought to my room made my stomach growl in hunger. I glanced at him and wondered why he was even here and why he was pretending to care about me at all.
“I don’t need a caretaker,” I snapped at him. His golden eyes darkened for a brief moment before returning to their original color.
“You’re welcome,” he spoke sarcastically. “Don’t mistake this for me giving a shit about if you’re alright. It’s my job to make sure all the contestants make it to the next trial without dying. It would be boring to watch if only three of you were left standing. I have better things to do with my time than pretend to care about your well-being, so I’ll be leaving.”
He disappeared through my doorway and out of sight. What a prick. I couldn’t trust kindness, especially from someone who protects my enemy.
They always had ulterior motives. Pushing others away and keeping them at a distance is something Sybil always warned me would make me lonely. She worried that I didn’t care about anyone. That I enjoyed being alone. It wasn’t true, but I still couldn’t let my guard down no matter how much I craved to find somewhere I belonged.
Who would ever want a monster like me? It was better to push them away before they decided I wasn’t worth loving and rejected me first. I was frustrated with myself as I ate my food but decided to leave my room and explore the grounds a bit more. I shouldn’t feel bad about my attitude towards Cassius. He had been an asshole since the trials started.
I took a piping hot shower and dressed in new clothing that Cassius had probably brought me. Guilt seeped into my mind as I replayed the attitude I had. I could acknowledge his kindness without trust.
When I was presentable enough, I left my room and made my way outside. The air was cooler than I was used to in Exile, but the sun shined here and warmed me.
It was waiting for me. The soft blue flame lured me down the cobblestone road. It moved towards the town, and I paused. I had no intention of mingling with Crimson fae, but the Wisp moved at me quickly. It stopped only a few feet in front of me before swirling around me. I had never seen it this close before. If I focused hard enough, I would almost see the silhouette of a woman within it. She stopped and I swore she pointed to the town. I huffed in irritation as I headed in that direction.
The streets were lively with fae like they had been when I first walked through them.
A stone bench in a small park caught my eye, so I sat down to admire the happiness that everyone seemed to have here. My past was a mystery to me, but something told me that I wasn’t used to this happiness there either.
I had spent so many nights trying to convince my own mind to help me remember what I was missing. Sybil thought it was trauma preventing me from remembering. That I had endured so much pain that my mind made it disappear forever so I could simply keep surviving. I wanted to believe that, but why was my whole life missing? Why didn’t it just take out the part where I was sent to Exile since that was obviously traumatizing for everyone who went?
This sinking feeling started in the pit of my stomach. Maybe my life was just as bad outside of Exile as it was in it. I was fine being alone and I didn’t trust anyone. It seemed like those were traits that I had before being placed in Exile.
My chest got heavy with a darkness that lived deep within it. Something was wrong with me, and I knew it. A large part of me wanted to know about my past but I also didn’t want to know anything. The Wisp moved from beside me and swirled around me like she sensed a shift in my thoughts.
Music started playing somewhere in the town and I closed my eyes and admired the sound. It was peaceful here. Something about that thought made me feel like a traitor. This is the Kingdom of a monster. A king who locked elite magic away like we were monsters. I shouldn’t be out here enjoying myself. Not when Sybil and the twins were living off nothing.
Guilt clawed at me as I stood up. Enjoyment was not something I should have experienced here. I turned back towards the castle and started back. I would not enjoy this facade that the Crimson King has made here. This was probably a show he told them to put on.
Fae watched me stand abruptly, and I couldn’t place why I felt unnerved by them. They seemed almost… happy to see me. No one had seemed to recognize me in Crimson, so I wasn’t sure why they stared. The Wisp stood in front of me as if to stop me, but I kept walking. A part of me expected the Wisp to be hard, but she burst into a million small glowing specks when I walked through her.
She didn’t appear again.
