AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I wanted desperately to crawl back through the shadow boundary and breathe the clean air. Collapsing on my back, I stared into the starless night and begged the Gods above to end our suffering. I couldn’t keep doing this. One of these times guards would kill me and Sybil would die too. Something needed to change. Pain made small moments like this feel like an eternity. My muscles slowly unclenched as the pain lessened its grip on me.
I stood with the little energy I had left and made my way through the meadow toward the shambled buildings. It was dark and most fae should be sleeping, so hopefully no one would notice me with these supplies. They would kill me without a second thought or realize it came from the other side. I couldn’t begin to try and explain my ability to cross a boundary that killed everyone else.
I dragged my bags through the side trails to avoid any part of town that fae may have been walking. My eyes fixated on the dark green door that marked mine and Sybil’s home, and I welcomed the feeling of comfort that settled in my chest. The color resonated with me and was the reason I had picked this home.
Hurrying in, I slammed the door shut and locked it, feeling paranoid I was being followed. It was a ridiculous thought. When I turned, Sybil was standing in the doorway of the hall watching me.
“By the Gods, Thea. You’re covered in blood.”
She moved as quickly to help me.
“It’s not mine, Sybil,” I reassured her. Sybil recoiled in disgust as she took in my blood-stained clothes, her face contorting with judgment as she crossed her arms tightly across her chest, creating a barrier between us. Her eyes frosted over as she glanced up at me.
Sybil detested violence. That was where we were different. My body hummed when danger was near. It liked the rush of it and feeling the power of my magic pulsing with adrenaline. Sybil's reactions always made me wonder if there was something wrong with me finding satisfaction in killing guards.
“How many?”
“How many what?” I moved towards the small living area to hide our supplies. Our shelves filled quickly with the new things I had gathered.
“How many men did you hurt?”
“I killed four.” I sighed and waited for her to yell at me. When she didn’t, I pressed on. “One guard lived. Besides, they were the King’s Guardsmen, and they were following me. I didn't have a choice.”
“You can't go again.” She spoke as if she were my mother, but she wasn’t. No one would stop me. What would she say if I told her that I had run into creatures and one of them helped me? Or that the dying guard had muttered my name? Uneasiness curdled my stomach, and I tried to convince myself that it couldn’t have been what he said.
“When we run out of medicine and supplies, I'll go back out.” I didn’t want to argue with her, but she seemed to be forgetting what would happen if I didn’t go. I did this for us, so we would survive together.
“I worry that you are looking for a fight, Thea. You want to find trouble so you can take out your anger on someone or something, but it will not change our fate.”
"If I can do anything to help change our fate, then I will try. We don't deserve to die in this prison." Sybil scanned all the supplies I had managed to carry and backed up from me as the metallic scent of blood filled the space.
“We all lost someone or something, Thea.” She stepped back deliberately putting space between us. “Our homes, our families, our magic.” Tears formed in her eyes and spilled down her cheeks as she remembered all the things she had lost. I wasn't even allowed that small amount of comfort because I had no memories. At least she had things to remember, unlike me.
No one here understood how unworthy of love or happiness I felt. Most days I wasn't sure if fighting for our freedom was worth it because every time I tried to make connections with others, I noticed their distance, as if they viewed me as the monster here. How can I believe that anyone outside of Exile missed me, especially when I couldn't remember?
We were all suffering, but I was the only one who couldn’t remember my life before this damned prison. My memory was either damaged or gone. My teeth clenched tightly. It wasn’t fair. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t remember, but there was no point in trying to understand any of this madness. The more I thought of our circumstances the more my face heated. Everyone here was lonely, but at least they remembered what love and belonging were like at some point. Loneliness gnawed at my soul like an unrelentless ache.
“Our families abandoned us as soon as the king called us monsters.” I spat back at her. “You said so yourself that they all let us suffer, but they continue to live their lives as if we aren't slowly dying and being forgotten. And for what? Because we have elite magic and the king thought we would rebel against him!” Every word I spoke was laced with the betrayal that we experienced every day here.
Sybil frowned at me, and her eyes filled with disappointment and sadness. The weight of guilt immediately crushed my anger. Avoiding her gaze, I stared at the floor and blinked rapidly to keep my tears at bay. She was upset with me, and I couldn’t bear to see disappointment in her eyes. Everyone here had a loved one or family that just stepped aside and let the king and his guardsmen exile us here. No one cared about us. They all thought we were monsters and I wanted to prove to them with every fiber in my body that I was their worst nightmare.
They should all be punished.
“I’m tired. I’ll mix up medicine in the morning.” Sybil excused herself to her room and I didn’t let out my breath until her door shut. The overwhelming feeling of remorse seeped into my bones for all the times I lashed out at Sybil and others in anger. I pushed everyone away, especially those that cared for me. The realization hit me hard: perhaps it wasn't others that viewed me as a monster. Maybe it was how I viewed myself.
I sank to the floor for a long moment trying to control my hurt and anger. Like always, my overwhelming emotions triggered my magic, and it simmered under my skin now, begging to be released. Shoving up off the floor, I went to my room and hoped the silence would help.
I closed my eyes and leaned my head against my door. Exhaustion was nothing new to me living in Exile. Every day took a toll on all of us. We were being suffocated and there was nothing we could do. We would have to accept this fate eventually, but I would fight with everything I had before I gave up.
I slipped off the blood-stained clothes and washed myself off before getting ready for bed. My eyes stared at the small bed made from old clothes that didn’t fit anymore. Even without knowing what my life had been like outside of Exile, I could see from the towns I stole from that we were living in complete squalor.
I hated this place. I hated this house that was too small, the air that was too hot and sticky, and I hated that I couldn't remember if my life had been better than this before.
Chapter 2
My dreams had never given me much insight into my past, but each nightmare only made me hope that one-night things would change. That my dreams would reveal something that had been forgotten about my past.
That was why I stared at the large wooden door in front of me. It was familiar. I wasn’t sure if it was because I had dreamt of it for as long as I could remember or if it was a memory of the past I didn’t remember. Standing in the dark hallway, I gazed at the door at the end of the hall as it glowed red under the crack. Dread filled my chest as I stared at the golden handle of the door like it held all the answers to my past, but what if those answers only showed a life worse than Exile?
