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All I could feel when the darkness lifted was pain, so much pain.
Thirteen
GUNNER
?
My eyes haven’t left Savvy since I walked into my office. Seeing her this way is not necessarily new to me. She’s a boss. A certain amount of being cold and calculating is to be expected in our world. Hell, when shit went down with Princess, she bossed the fuck up, and so did our kids. This situation is no exception. Observing her, I can tell there is more to the story. This is more than dealing with an adversary. It’s hitting her differently. This is personal.
Knowing how Savvy works, and despite knowing she’ll want to handle this shit on her own. She’s my woman, and this is my family. Personal or not, I hope despite what she thinks, she understands she can lean on me and the club. I will do what needs to be done to protect what’s mine. If my hands get bloodier, then so be it.
From what I gathered from the phone call, this Julia woman is on some shit and will need to be handled. And we will definitely handle her. No one threatens my fucking family and lives.
What was shocking was finding out that she was the biological mother of Sin. Which I didn’t know. Looking over to my boys, the looks on their faces say they are in the same boat as I’m in, with this new knowledge. Although Bull is giving me something else altogether, my eyes narrow on him, but he just shakes his head. My eyes return to Savvy. I know she has her secrets and I’m not upset about her not telling me. I know we aren’t there yet. She isn’t ready to spill her secrets to me and I respect that even though I fucking hate it. The shit that has me giving her a look, letting her know she will give me more because lions, tigers, and fairytales she can’t just glaze over some shit like that.
Savvy’s eyes glaze over and my concern for her goes from wanting to know what she has been holding back to wanting to hold her and fight all her demons. The emotions she’s displayed since I entered my office have been all over the place. Fury, frustration, annoyance, love, and the one that’s got me on my feet and making my way to her is fear. I’ve never seen fear in my woman’s eyes, and to see it now has me wanting to kill anyone or anything that put it there.
I know I can’t do what I want. Lift her, put her in my lap and pull her close. She’d have my balls for treating her like a delicate flower. So I do the next best thing. I sit next to her and wrap my arms around her, pulling her close to me. I can feel her body vibrating with emotion and I can see on her face that she is fighting memories. I hate this shit for her. I hate that just when things calmed down for our family, something new pops up.
Savvy shifts as she turns to look into my eyes. So much reflected at me through her soulful brown eyes. She’s fighting against herself. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because she wants to tell me everything and is unsure how I will take it. Whatever the reason, she has to know that nothing she tells me will make me love or want her any less.
Taking a breath, she pulls away slightly, and I allow it. I can still feel her warmth as my arm remains around her waist. She lets out a long sigh.
“During one of my first missions, the people we were investigating captured me,” Savvy says.
My body stiffens at her admission, and I tighten my hold on her. She looks at me and the look she gives me says they are no longer an issue and I loosen my hold, taking a few calming breaths. The understanding that my woman is here and those fucks aren’t–has the fury in my chest dissipating.
Savvy clears her throat and shifts again. I try to ignore my dick springing to attention at her scent that tickles my nose while being so close to her. I lean forward and kiss her behind her ear. I breathe her in, which calms me further. Damn, this woman is my own personal drug. Savvy leans into my touch before she continues.
“Long story short. They held and tortured me for weeks. They wanted to know how we found out about them and what our plans were. Before they could break me and get information out of me. The Order found me, and that’s when things changed–I changed.”
Savvy pushes off of me and stands. I let her go because she needs to move. Her body hasn’t stopped vibrating from her repressed emotion since I sat down.
“When they found me, I was at the brink. I do not doubt that I would have been a casualty, along with our children. Everyone, including myself, was surprised that the babies had made it through everything I endured. My injuries were severe and because of who I was, the order decided...” Savvy says, stopping in front of me.
I can do nothing but look up at her. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. To sit and listen and not let my own emotions rule me or have me explode and yell at her for putting herself and our children in danger. I know the reckless decisions she was making back then were because of me. So I keep my shit together so she can tell me everything.
“The order did everything in their power to save me. They were aware of who I was and the influence my family had on the organization. There was no way I could go missing or die without there being repercussions. My father wouldn’t have stopped until he found out what happened to me. Which is why the order did things to me that saved me but changed me. I’m physically faster, can hear better, and heal almost instantly. As do our children.” She says and says nothing. She waits. For what I don’t know.
Vex isn’t one to hold his tongue. “So, are you superhuman or some shit? Like superheroes? Because sign me the fuck up.” He says, looking around the room.
Bellamy and Rocket chuckle. Pain stares at him like he’s crazy and I just glare at my son.
“We are not superheroes. I guess you can say we are superhuman. As Mom said, we heal faster, see and hear better. Our reflexes are outmatched. Blaze and I were affected by what the order did to mom. What mom isn’t telling you is that things could have gone really bad for us. They took a chance, and it paid off and because of that, they think they own us. More mom than Blaze and I. But after Yokosuka and Mom saved some leaders of the order, Mom made a deal that had them release her from their stupid ass blood contract. This isn’t the first time they have tried to pull her into their shit. We all attempt to stay off their radar, not because we fear them, more because I don’t want to have unnecessary blood on my hands because they don’t fucking listen.” Bellamy says from next to me. “I have a feeling it will be the last.” Bellamy focuses on her mother, who gives her a look that says that she isn’t wrong.
With a nod, Savvy picks up where Bell left off. “After my rescue, I felt indebted to them not because they saved me, but because they saved my babies. I worked for them for a few years, mainly in dealing with humans that had knowledge of the supernatural and were going to use that knowledge in a way that was detrimental to the order and protecting their people. I became the Widowmaker.”
“So that’s what I’ve been keeping close to the chest as far as my past goes. I’m not completely human, but I’m not anything else either. My abilities, along with Blaze and Bellamy's, allow us to recognize others.” She chuckles. “Which are far closer than you may think.” She looks at Bellamy with a smirk. Before I can ask what that’s about, my office door flies open.
Blaze comes into the room, his eyes are tight as they find his mothers.
“Vahn took care of it and will send the trash to where it needs to go. She said to give a bitch a little warning next time. She was, and I quote, ‘bout to get some.” Blaze says deadpan, my son unimpressed with having to deal with their cleaning lady. I have a feeling and what I’ve seen of her is that she is very much as snarky as Bellamy with her dry and inappropriate humor.
“Thank you, son,” Savvy says.
She steps closer to him, looking him in the eyes and patting him on the cheek. The two stand staring at one another before Savvy steps away from him after he gives her a nod, and she turns back to me.
“Julia is a me problem.” She says, giving me a pointed look. “She is an annoying little gnat that I will handle.” She growls out, hands clenched at her sides. “No one is to tell Sin anything that was said here today. She doesn’t need to know about the bitch.”
