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“Unspeakable things. You don’t want to know.”
I laughed at that and started pulling out my jeans. Were five pairs enough? There would also be, I reasoned, stores in Connecticut. Probably.
“You did Mock Trial?” I looked up from my suitcase to see Russell looking at the plaque I’d gotten at graduation.
“Oh—yeah,” I said. “All four years.”
“Huh.” Russell leaned forward to look at it more closely, and I realized that we hadn’t talked much about this—who we were only a few months ago.
“What—I mean, what did you do? At school?”
“I played lacrosse.”
“Lacrosse?” Somehow this didn’t make any sense with the Russell I thought I knew. “Really?”
“Absolutely. And I was in the band as well—I played piano for all the musicals. Guitar, too.…”
I nodded. “Right.” That made more sense to me—but it was like I’d just realized that there was a lot more of Russell than I’d seen so far—like I’d just been downstairs in a house that had whole other wings and rooms. I gave the suitcase one last look, then zipped it up. I was really not sure if I’d packed properly, but I told myself that I could have my dad send me anything I’d forgotten that was essential.
“All set?” Russell crossed over to me and helped me lift my suitcase.
“I think so? Hopefully?” I glanced at the clock on my dresser—if I was going to make it to the airport, I really needed to leave. “I should see how long an Uber’s going to take.”
Russell shook his head. “What do you mean? Of course I’m going to drive you.”
“Oh—that’s so nice, but—”
“Darcy.” Russell shook his head, like this should have been obvious. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
“Oh.” I smiled at him, and it felt a little bit like someone had just hit snooze on our goodbye—that we’d been able to push it off, at least for a little bit. “Well—thank you. That’s really nice of you.”
He leaned over and gave me a kiss, and we lingered there for just a moment. “Five stars,” he said when we finally broke away, winding a strand of my hair around his finger. “That’s all I ask.”
* * *
Twenty minutes later, I’d gotten dressed and we’d loaded my suitcase into the car. I’d emptied out my canvas bag of the stuff I’d needed for Silverspun and instead put in my wallet, phone, phone charger, laptop, and sweater for the plane. I’d also added my Nighthawks sweatshirt to my suitcase. I wasn’t going to wear it in front of Russell, but I also wasn’t going to leave it behind.
“Is that everything?” Russell asked me as he shut the back of the Bronco.
“I think so.” I dropped my bag onto the seat and glanced back at the house. I knew that time was ticking, but I needed just one more moment. “I’m just going to lock up. Be right back.”
I ran across the lawn and up to the front door—but then opened it and stepped inside. I couldn’t help but wonder what would have happened by the next time I was in this spot, a semester of college under my belt. Who would I be then? I didn’t even know that Darcy, but in three months’ time, she’d be here. The house would be the same, but I wouldn’t.
I took the stairs up to my room two at a time, and quickly smoothed the covers over my bed, picking up the blanket from the floor. Then I reached under the bed and pulled out the shoebox with the picture of my mother in it. It was the two of us—I was standing on the sidewalk, reaching up for something, as my mother smiled at whoever was taking the picture—my dad, probably. Her hands were holding tight to mine, like she was never going to let me go.
I looked at it for just a moment longer, then glanced around my room. I saw my copy of Theseus’s Sailboat on my bookcase and grabbed it. I tucked the picture inside and headed downstairs.
In the kitchen, I paused. It seemed impossible that a few days from now my dad would be doing his crossword puzzle like usual, only I wouldn’t be there to help.
A line from my namesake song—that I now knew both the true origin of, and that it was my mother who’d helped give it to me—floated through my head. Has there ever been a day when Darcy wasn’t here? Like it or not, starting tomorrow, it would be what was happening.
I grabbed the Milligan Concepts notepad from where it always lived on the kitchen counter, and wrote a quick note.
Thank you for everything.
I love you.
Darcy
