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They hurry to comply, each anxious to get to the next step. When Raleigh sneaks a kiss, Callahan sinks into him, and I want to join them more than I want my next breath.
I breathe through the want, letting them taste each other.
It’s a curious thing, watching two people kiss. Most of the time it’s an intrusion, maybe even a nuisance.
Watching Callie and Raleigh take each other apart is a gift.
Raleigh pulls the dress over her head, leaving Callahan in an elaborate set of matching lingerie that sets my blood on fire. I wonder jealously if she brought that with her from home, or if she went out and bought it today. I wonder if she bought it for Raleigh.
Their hands roam, and I don’t guide them out loud any more. I take the gift of watching them together for what it is, and bring myself off silently, timed to the background music of their sighs and moans.
A few minutes later, Raleigh lifts his head. Callahan blinks slowly, opening her eyes to look for me.
“West?”
I pull myself together, more or less, zipping my pants and making my way to a chair as quietly as I can.
“On the bed this time,” I say. Callahan wraps her legs around Raleigh and he scoops her up, all lean muscle against her soft curves, and we start all over again.
15
Callahan
During the ceremony, I have to force my eyes straight ahead to keep from looking for Raleigh, or from studying West out of the corner of my eye. The glimpses I caught before we sat down were enough to have me blushing all over again.
I’ve never seen a wedding between three people before, though I expect it’s probably kind of rare. Alex and Joelle and Elliot’s wedding has all the tender poignancy you’d expect from a perfect fall morning on the beach. The joy radiating from the bride with every step she takes down the aisle, the frank appreciation in the eyes of her grooms, and, a few minutes later, the tears sliding quietly down the faces of at least two out of three of them. Alex and I may have lost touch as teenagers, but the look on his face reminds me of when we were kids—that wide-open excitement. All trust. No fear.
That look hits me where I live and sends me fumbling for the box of tissues under my chair. I can’t remember what that feels like, but I remember a time when I looked that way.
When we were kids, it was easy. Love was easy. It was a fact; Finn and I had our parents, our friends, Sully. There was nothing to be afraid of. Or maybe it was okay to be afraid because it was easy to be brave, too.
Finn’s looking sharp in that gray suit and he’s beside himself with glee for most of the ceremony, but I catch him dabbing his eyes discreetly when Alex starts to sniff during his vows. Everybody’s barefoot on the small platform they have set up, and it’s almost too cool when the clouds roll by and the wind keeps blowing Joelle’s hair into her eyes, but it’s perfect. It’s just perfect.
Maybe it’s okay to be scared. Maybe being scared is just part of moving forward. I haven’t moved forward in so long I think I’ve forgotten how, until Finn dragged me out here. I can’t look at Alex—or Joelle or Elliot—and honestly think any of them are worry-free. They have to know what they’re signing themselves up for, marrying into such an unusual relationship. But all of them found a way to be brave enough to stand up there and make those vows to each other, and that, more than any of the other picture-perfect wedding day particulars is what has me weeping quietly through the rest of the ceremony.
West takes my hand, squeezing lightly. I don’t look at him just yet; I can’t. Outside of something you see on TV or on the news, this the bravest thing I’ve ever seen somebody do. And romance aside, I can’t shake the feeling that it’s important.
Despite everything that’s wrong in the world, they’re choosing to stand up and say, “This is more important.”
They didn’t shut themselves away or hide.
This was more important.
I squeeze West’s hand to let him know the tears are coming to an end. I can feel the worry vibrating off him and it makes me smile.
I may not be standing up in front of God and everybody to declare my love for two men—although, I won’t lie, this wedding weekend has made it seem more possible than ever, though I’d never in a million years say so to Raleigh or West—but maybe I can do better. Maybe when we get home, I don’t have to hide anymore.
Maybe I can at least try.
I sneak a glance at West. Maybe trying wouldn’t be the end of the world. Maybe we’re wrong about Finn; maybe he’d be okay with West and me getting involved.
Maybe we have a place for Raleigh, too.
I know I’m getting ahead of myself; we barely know each other, even West and me. He’s a different person than he had been ten years ago. God knows I am, too.
But maybe…
“You may now kiss the bride and groom.”
