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Elliot had kissed Joelle, bending her back like a starlet in a black-and-white movie. I think Alex might have cried even harder at that than he did during the ceremony. Then Alex took his turn with Joelle, cupping her face as though she was something precious. Alex and Elliot kissed to the sound of hoots and hollers from the audience. The joy on all their faces was something I’ll never forget, not as long as I live.
It gives me hope.
“There you go again,” mutters West, fishing around at our feet for the box of tissues. “I thought we were done with the crying part.”
“Oh, shut up,” I say. It comes out watery and garbled, but he gets the gist and he doesn’t object to me weeping into his shoulder when I wrap my arms around his waist and squeeze.
“If you say ‘it’s beautiful’ one more time, I’m going to sit somewhere else,” he says.
“It is beautiful, you monster,” I sniff, dabbing my eyes as carefully as I can. “And anyway, we’re all going to sit somewhere else. The ceremony’s over.”
The bride and grooms make their grand exit all of twenty yards away, where the photographer is waiting to take their photos. The rest of us file out in the opposite direction where a seaside reception is waiting, complete with round tables, white linens, tiki torches, music, and a dance floor.
Raleigh’s already seated with his parents at a full table. He gives us an apologetic grin and winks. I feel myself flush. He’d snuck out of West’s room with me this morning, both of us creeping out well before dawn just to make sure we didn’t oversleep. West had taken the couch, which was ridiculous, considering the size of the bed, but he swore we weren’t sleeping together—not even to sleep. I fell asleep with my head on Raleigh’s shoulder.
We make our way through the brunch buffet line and take seats near the dance floor at a table where Finn is already digging into an enormous stack of pancakes.
“Hungry?” I ask. He grunts, but takes a breather as we sit down next to him.
“Too busy to eat much the last couple of days,” he says, sipping his coffee. “I’m starving. You guys look nice.”
“You look like you didn’t get much sleep last night,” says West, raising a brow.
Finn grins.
“What can I say? I’ll sleep when I’m dead,” he quips. West rolls his eyes and we eat in companionable silence, enjoying the laughter and the scenery. West gets up for a refill. I lean into Finn’s shoulder.
“Hey,” I say. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” says Finn automatically. “For what?”
I take a deep breath, because I’m determined not to cry any more today. “For getting me out of the house.”
Finn sets his coffee down and wraps his arm around me, hugging me tight. I hear him take a deep breath and, goddamn it. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to will the tears back.
“I didn’t know what else to do,” he says. “Short of calling the men in the white coats.” He says it with a laugh, but I can hear the fear behind it and I know he’s not quite joking.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. Jesus,” he says, pulling back and shoving me away a little. “Would it help if I moved back in?”
He’s a little green at the thought, and considering the current state of my sleeping arrangements, I am, too. Not that I’m planning on those sleeping arrangements continuing once we get home.
There it is again… hope.
“Uh, no,” I say. “Having you out in the apartment is close enough, thanks. What if I decide to bring home both of my boyfriends?” I ask, elbowing him lightly. Finn laughs.
“I think that’s about as likely as me bringing home a boyfriend and a girlfriend.” He sobers quickly. “I’m serious about moving back in, Cal. Would it help?”
I squeeze his hand. “Thanks, but I don’t think that’s the answer. You’re right, though. Things can’t stay the way they are. I think maybe I need help.”
Finn watches me carefully. “What kind of help do you mean? You want to hire more help for Hale House?”
“That’s still something we need, yes. But I meant help for me. For… like… counseling. Or therapy. Or something.” I’m stammering because I don’t know the difference between counseling and therapy and maybe one is for people who are sick and maybe I’m overthinking this whole thing because I’m out of my depth here.
I’m about to take it all back and tell him never mind, but Finn’s shoulders drop the tension I didn’t realize he’d been carrying. His eyes go watery all over again and this time he hugs me for real. He doesn’t speak for a long moment.
“I think that’s a good idea,” he says eventually.
