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But his darkness was winning, pushing its way into my body.
Caedryn whispered in my ear while stroking my head. “It will be over quickly, my love, and we’ll be united forever.”
He was insane. Completely. I couldn’t hope to save him. Not anymore.
“I’ve used the darkness for hundreds of years.” Caedryn spoke in a reverent hush. “It’s magnificent. Darkness is greater than light. You will come to know of its glory—its power to create in a way the Master of Light can’t.”
“Please don’t do this,” I mumbled.
“I must, dearest. I must.” He continued to purr to me, to run his fingers over my hair.
A sadistic glee filled his brown eyes as my world grew dark. I don’t want this. I don’t want this. Deian, fight for me. I have no hope. I am lost. What’s left for me? Give me a reason to restore my light!
A fire blazed in the pit of my stomach. I caught my breath, and I laughed. My child was light! Like cold metal pinging as it expanded from flame, the light from my child tingled and pricked until it threaded my heart-center.
Everything became clear. My purpose, my life. As an immortal being, I floundered to understand my existence, asking what the point of living forever was. But I had my child—she would be my enabling power. Everyone else who had been a part of my life flashed into my mind. I had helped them, and they had helped me. Aneirin, Catrin, Seren, Owein, Arnall and the caravan, the bricklayer, Sorfrona, Kelyn, and Kenrik. The residents in the city. The people in the charred village. All their faces filled me. They were a part of me.
And yet, they were not me.
I had sought for happiness that was tangible. Happiness someone could give me, but I needed to give my happiness away to others. Lose myself to find myself. The only person to make me feel alive, to awaken my soul, and to understand who I was, was me.
I clung to these truths as Deian showed them to me.
“Niawen!” A strong voice filled the cell.
I can be happy with just me. With or without my light. Turmoil has been swirling around me for so long, but peace can be found in the midst of it. Peace because I am a good person. Peace because I know who I am. Peace because, no matter what, I’ll die conquering!
Somewhere in the darkness I found hope as my child’s light crept through me. I latched on to the feeling as my spirit had the distinct feeling of moving up.
I’m a blank slate. This is a new beginning.
The voice boomed. “NIAWEN!”
Hope.
Peace.
I can be pure.
I am pure.
I jolted.
A release of pressure. Lightness. I drifted skyward, free.
My salvation was too late. Floating upward didn’t feel like life, it felt like moving on.
SIXTY-SIX
“Niawen, Niawen, you must wake,” Kenrik said. “Please tell me I haven’t lost you.”
I snapped up as shifting and bouncing jarred my body. I spasmed and reached around the firmest thing available—Kenrik’s shoulders. He had lifted me into his arms.
“You’re walking!” I glanced behind as he strode from the chamber that had been his prison.
Caedryn was crumpled on the floor in his place. Legs at odd angles.
“What did you do?” I asked.
