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“I couldn’t resist paybacks for the weeks of torture, the black heart,” Kenrik said.
As we came to the corridor’s end, we heard voices. The guards in the front chamber to the dungeon.
Kenrik set me down. “I’ll dispatch them.”
“How?” I grabbed his hand.
Kenrik studied my face. “It seems your light has done more than heal my body. I took Caedryn down with ease. Three guards will be no match.”
“But you’re not an emrys.”
His eyebrows lifted. “Perhaps not, but I feel remnants of you.” He scowled. “And him. Wait here.”
Remnants of me. Kenrik wasn’t connected to me. He was feeling what had been me. What was no longer me.
As the guards scuffled with Kenrik around the corner, I braced myself against the wall, considering. Kenrik carried my light, which was a mix of Caedryn’s as well. He would be a beacon for evil unless Caedryn was killed.
Kenrik rushed back. “I fear we’ll meet more resistance on the way out. Caedryn has many men loyal to him.”
“I’m well aware of that.”
Kenrik was about to lift me into his arms.
“Wait. We must kill Caedryn, or he’ll hunt you down.” I couldn’t believe I was uttering those words. He was still my husband.
I think he’s still my husband. At this point, I didn’t know what giving my light away meant. I was free of that spiritual bond, but the physical union we shared couldn’t be undone. Half a marriage broken. I couldn’t even sense our mental bond. All bonds but one relied on the light of which I was devoid.
I had destroyed who I was. And though I was made anew, my breathing suddenly became erratic with the awareness of fresh dangers. “I don’t… I don’t… I—”
“Shh, it’s all right, Niawen.” Kenrik crushed me to himself. “I’d like to see Caedryn track us down. We’ll travel far away. I’ll protect you.”
“You don’t understand. You’re connected. He’ll always know where you are. As long as he’s a half-emrys carrying light, he’ll feel the bond forged between you. This is my fault. I’m sorry. I didn’t think things through when I gave you my light.”
Kenrik lifted me as my wobbly legs crumbled. “I’m not taking you back. You’re too weak. If he catches up, I’ll end him.”
We raced down the corridors. I felt drained. My child’s light was tiny. He or she gave me only enough to fight the darkness. The baby needed the energy to grow. I couldn’t harm him by siphoning any more.
I hoped I wasn’t dying.
My chest was hollow. My heart-center was void of light and darkness. Empty. Waiting to be filled.
Would my light return with time?
It could. New light. Light unconnected to Caedryn’s. My heart-center will always create light. I had that hope.
A little light was all I needed to stay under Caedryn’s radar. If my light grew to the level of a mere mortal’s, Caedryn would never distinguish my light from a human’s light. I’d be concealed. Safe.
I just wouldn’t be able to harness such a trivial amount.
I was giving so much up for freedom.
SIXTY-SEVEN
Kenrik fought us free of the citadel. He did have the strength of twenty men. We hid in the city, down a trash-strewn alley. Kenrik leaned me against a wall behind a barrel, and he went into the rear door of a pub. He came back with a cup filled with ale. “Drink.”
I gulped greedily.
“Tell me how to give your light back,” he said.
