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“I had to. She’ll hate me all winter, but it’ll be for the best.”
The best for whom? Kenrik was unattached. I was fair game for him.
Kenrik followed me into the library and watched me browse the books. “You’re moping about something.”
“I am not.” I am too.
“You can’t fool me. Kelyn asked you, didn’t he?”
My fingers bumped over the spines. “He told you he did.”
“No. He didn’t. He’s become wise to… uh, never mind.” Kenrik took slow steps, with his hands clasped behind his back.
Your feelings. Your feelings for me. “I’m not oblivious, Kenrik.”
His face fell. “Of course you’re not.”
“You revealed the depths of your devotion when you met Seren.”
“I was pledging myself to you. That’s what a loyal friend does.”
That’s what someone who loves you does. “Your words meant more than that.” I pulled a book off the shelf, not the least bit interested in it. I smoothed my fingertips over the leather and the stamped title, trying to think of a reason I shouldn’t want Kenrik to like me.
Two reasons.
Tiwlip and Kelyn.
I don’t need romance.
But I wanted Kenrik’s attentions. I turned the book between my palms.
As a friend. Only as a friend.
Kenrik perched on the edge of a heavy, oak library table and arched his brows at me. “You didn’t realize the extent of my feelings until I slipped up the other day.”
“I’ve been preoccupied.” Preoccupied with death. Obsessed with Kelyn’s almost death. “I’m usually more astute.”
“Is that an emrys thing?” He tried to pull the book from my hands because I was worrying the corners. His fingers brushed mine as I tugged without thinking.
Kenrik released his grip, unsuccessful.
“Yes.” I sighed. I should have been more diligent in scrutinizing the feelings of every mortal I came across. I should have been more careful not to encourage their inklings of feelings.
That was pointless. I couldn’t hold off Owein or Kelyn or Kenrik, whether I knew their feelings or not. Besides, mortals didn’t always know when someone had feelings for them. So many of them were blind to the attentions from others. Maybe ignorance was bliss. Oh, to be a mortal. In the future, I could wait for endearing sentiments to be expressed and pretend I didn’t know.
I wouldn’t feel guilty for leading anyone on.
Too late for Kenrik.
He snickered. “You haven’t given Kelyn an answer?”
I slammed the book down on the table beside Kenrik, slamming decision down with it. “No.”
I was going to ignore all the emotions and just enjoy life. I was tired of juggling.
Kenrik grinned. “Good.”
THIRTY
