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I was boiling under the surface.
“I don’t want to discuss it.” I didn’t want to bring Aneirin up. I didn’t want to comment on the difference in our age and how he wasn’t ready. I was ready. Had been ready. Moving on was much harder when I was constantly reminded of him.
I turned around and backed against the wall. I could practically touch the heavy gray clouds above me.
Caedryn moved a hand’s breadth away from me, propped his elbow on a higher part of the wall, and supported his head. He had the appearance of someone who was deeply interested in whatever the other person might say, as if I might divulge my heart’s desire, but he was hiding behind a casual air. Almost mocking. “I don’t want you to think I’m an old man, but take a guess.”
“I told you it doesn’t matter!” I was curious.
His eyes narrowed. “Well then. Now that that’s settled. I’ll leave you to ponder my peculiarities.” He turned and stalked away.
THIRTY-EIGHT
I shoved past the guard into a study on the second floor. Caedryn’s dark head was bent over parchment as he scrawled with a quill. An attendant took the sheet and placed another one in front of Caedryn.
When Caedryn didn’t take the time to look up, I blurted, “Did I insult you?” I’d fumed for hours after the tour and Caedryn’s abrupt departure. If he wanted me to make Islwyn my home, he sure wasn’t winning me over with his evasive nature.
“To insult me you’d have to do something disrespectful.” He waved his attendant away.
I rolled my eyes as the man left. “Why do you want me here?”
Caedryn’s sneaky conniving smile curled his lips, as if he was three steps ahead of my thoughts.
“You just seem keen to have me consider this my home,” I said.
Caedryn tickled his face thoughtfully with the end of his feathered quill.
I brushed up to the table and braced my arms on the surface. “You were practically begging me to stay.”
“I’m not begging you to stay, but think about it. I offer you a life of freedom. A life without boundaries. Limitless. No rules. No fear of ever being exiled. Living beside the humans, but with the blessing of having an immortal stand by you. Someone who knows the ways and customs of your people. Someone who carries light and understands its glory.”
I straightened. “You offer me this. A fresh start?”
“Yes!” Caedryn stood and leaned across his desk as I had. “That’s what you want, Niawen. No darkness in your heart. A blank slate.”
“You can’t erase my past.”
“Maybe not. Your past has shaped you, but it’s up to you to decide which parts you allow to haunt you and which parts you allow to grow you.”
“Why should you care so much?” she asked.
“I don’t care.”
“You do! You act as though my decision, should it be in your favor, would give you the utmost satisfaction.”
He angled away from me, but kept his eye on me. “It’s not in me to be satisfied.”
I pressed my lips together. “You’re arrogant!”
“Arrogance is not my worst fault.”
“I don’t know how this started.” I turned on my heel and stalked to the door.
“What’s your answer, Niawen?”
I snapped around. “You know my answer. How could I pass on such a generous offer? You set no rules or boundaries. A great enticement. But freedom doesn’t break a wild horse. You might regret your kindness when you realize I cannot be tamed.”
As I reached the door and my hand brushed the frame, I heard Caedryn murmur. “I cannot be tamed either.”
