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“Yes,” he moaned.
“So, what of it?”
“Her spies are increasing. She’s harassing me, permitting her scouts to be seen. She wants me to know that when the time is right, she’ll finish me off.”
“That won’t happen. She doesn’t care for this realm. You told me she has a massive country that’s four times the size of this one. Why would she concern herself with yours on the other side of the desert?”
“She’ll annihilate my people. I’ve labored to make a life for those who followed me here. She’d attack to seek revenge on those loyal to me.”
“No, no.” I stroked his cheek, cooing, passing comfort to him. “She wouldn’t dare. She wouldn’t.”
Caedryn locked his eyes on mine, and in them, I saw a darkness and fear so deep I gasped.
“She would,” he said.
I pushed his messy locks back from his forehead. My heart jumped when I realized this was the most we’d ever touched, or rather, I had touched him. “She’ll have to come through me first. You forget. I’m a warrior. I’m not a scholar like you. I don’t fight with cunning; I fight with fire.”
“Brave words. You haven’t seen the darkness in action. You haven’t seen her army of dark dragons.”
The darkness in action? I sank to my knees. “I’ll call Seren back right now. I’ll cross the desert and stop her.”
Caedryn grabbed my wrists. “You don’t know what you’re saying. You don’t know what she can do. You’d be dead before you even crossed her borders.”
“You’re afraid of her.”
“I fear her. I told you I have nightmares.”
His deep-seated turmoil began to unveil itself in my mind. I had no idea. And here I thought his exile story was to win me over. Wanting to be strong for Caedryn, I hid my worry behind a mental wall.
He groaned. “I know what you’re doing. You’re frightened. You just cast a wall around your emotions… I didn’t want you to see me like this.”
“Like what?”
Caedryn bristled away from my touch, turning his face. “Dark. Black. Vile.”
“You’re not dark. What are you talking about?”
“I’ve been hiding my darkness. I didn’t tell you. A half-emrys is half-darkness.”
“I don’t understand.” My stomach hitched. Not darkness. Not darkness. No more darkness!
“One immortal parent, one mortal parent. One brings light; the other brings darkness. I am two halves twisted together.”
What did he mean? Caedryn carried both? “Why haven’t I discerned the darkness in you before?”
“One of my gifts is deception. I’m a master of deception. I hide who I am.”
“And who are you truly?”
“Insane.”
“No, you’re not,” I said. “I haven’t seen one inkling of insanity. I’m the one who stood on the ledge in that snowstorm, remember?”
He looked at me with disbelief. “I am. I’m slipping into madness.”
“Not while I’m here, you won’t. I won’t let anything happen to you.” Since when did I start to care for Caedryn like this? “We have each other. We take care of each other.” I suddenly felt I was making a declaration—just as Kenrik had done. A sorrow tore through my gut. I felt strangely connected to Kenrik and the state in which I’d left him.
“I’m terrified of what I might become. There’s no stopping it. I wish you understood, but I’m reluctant to show you.”
