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Guilt crashed into him and brought Riaz to his knees. Fisting a hand in his dreadlocks, he ground his teeth together to stop the wail that threatened to erupt.
He’d had no choice but to end Benny’s life. No one came back from rabidity once it was firmly in control. As much as Riaz had tried to compel him as his alpha, and then beg as a man, in the end it hadn’t mattered. The youth had been lost as soon as that bullet had entered his body.
Riaz should’ve known. He’d never seen a youngster so keen to prove himself, one that had demonstrated such a concerning level of recklessness in years past. Even in the face of all the evidence, Riaz hadn’t wanted to shackle the boy.
After his family had been killed by the Citizens’ hunter, Benny had lost himself to training. Riaz had personally mentored him, taking delight in his enthusiasm and drive, and seeing leadership traits in the younger wolf that mirrored his own. He’d allowed Benny freedom to roam—and the pup had followed his curious nose into business he had no place being. He’d been a joy to be around, and now, that light had been snuffed out.
Discussion about the funeral pyre that would be lit that evening was bleak but essential. Riaz’s responsibility extended to laying the young wolf to rest and then guarding over the pack while they mourned. Everyone would attend, even humans like Gwennie who still called the pack their own.
As morning gave way to afternoon, plans solidified and were put into action. Riaz’s wolf had remained somber, lending him strength when he could. Ava was never far away, most likely having sense his deep need for companionship.
The moment Cortana stepped into the great hall, his wolf perked.
Something had fundamentally changed between him and Cortana in the hours they’d lain together, content in each other’s presence. No hesitation showed in her stride when she walked toward them, her eyes darting between him and Ava.
“Sleep well?”
The domestic question caught her off guard. “I did, surprisingly.”
“I’m glad.”
His response was flat and contained only a note of concern for her. He couldn’t muster his usual carefree tone. It was as if someone had strung him up and twisted all the happiness from his bones, then had sent him into the world to exist as an empty shell.
“We’ve determined that the bullet that turned Benny rabid was silver-sunlight compound.” With a deep breath, Riaz continued, “We’re now certain that the people who run the plant are partnered with the Citizens, not just a supplier.”
Cortana gave him a solemn nod. “I’m sorry about Benny, Riaz.”
“It’s my fault,” he admitted. “In more ways than one. I should have tried more with him. I should have known he’d follow them. Should have given him a vaccine.”
“You couldn’t have foreseen this, Riaz.”
Shaking his head, Riaz replied, “It’s my responsibility to keep them safe.”
“I was the one he lunged for,” Cortana whispered. “It’s partially my fault, Riaz. You killed him in my defense.”
A growl stalled in his throat. “That wasn’t your fault. You were there because of me—you weren’t the reason he went rogue.”
“And neither were you.”
Cortana’s words were decisive, holding no trace of grey, but the truth was very much the opposite. If Riaz had made different decisions yesterday, Benny would still be alive.
Ava’s fingertips brushed over his forearm where it was folded against his chest. For a brief moment, Cortana swayed forward, her expression darkening, before catching herself. The wolf within Riaz noticed. The beast cocked his head, wondering if the movement was possessive or jealous.
But the vampire looked away, frowning when she noticed Renata across the hall. Positively enraged, Renata’s gaze promised retribution—not on Riaz, but on Cortana. He’d been watching the she-wolf all day, hating the fact that she was upset but knowing no good would come of confronting her again.
When Cortana returned her attention to Riaz, he said, “I told Renata that we were through.”
Her face went slack. “Surely not because of me?”
Everything hinged on his answer, though he had no idea what she yearned for. Did she want some type of confirmation he wanted her? Or for reassurance that he didn’t?
“And if it was, Pet?”
A blink was the only sign of her surprise. “I—you and me—we’re not an item, Riaz. You know that.”
For a beat, Riaz didn’t respond, merely gazing at her features as he etched her into his memory. Now was neither the time nor place to expose the bond between them. Instead, he gave her a reverent bow of his head.
“As you wish, Cortana.”
