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“I can’t believe I’m hearing this.”
“Yes, well the truth hurts, doesn’t it?”
“Jealous of what exactly? A commitment phobic loser?” she laughs incredulously. “You are way off track, Audrey, way, WAY off track.”
“He loved me, everyone said so, apart from YOU, that is.”
“Love? Ha! Don’t make me laugh. If he was so in love with you then why did he do a runner, hey? Why did he abandon you ten …”
I slam the phone down hard before she can finish. Looking down at my trembling hands, heat sweeps through me, the room spins. I think I’m going to faint again. The phone rings almost immediately. I let it go to answerphone.
“Audrey,” Louise’s voice is thick with emotion. “Audrey, I’m sorry, okay? I was out of order. I know you don’t want to talk to me right now but I didn’t mean to upset you. I should’ve been more sensitive. It’s my raging hormones, Gerry will tell you,” she laughs softly and my heart thaws. “Look, I know you didn’t mean any of the stuff you said either.” No, I didn’t, she knows me so well. “We’re a right pair, aren’t we?” More soft laughter. Poor Lou. My hand reaches for the phone and then… “Oh, God,” she exclaims and I move my hand away quickly. “I hate talking into these machines. Just call me… Please.” She blows her nose loudly. “Please don’t let him come between us again,” she says with a nasally voice. Oh God, I’ve made her cry. I hate myself. “I’ll be home until about four-thirty, then I’ve got to pick Jess up from the station. Bye for now. Love you.”
My hands are still trembling as I dial Tina’s number.
“Audrey! Arrghhhhhh… hi!” It’s so good to hear her jovial voice. She must be in a bar or restaurant. I can hear a lot of commotion - voices, clatter and the drone of background music.
“Tina. I’ve missed you, how are you?” I try to control my wobbly voice. Tina has always had the capacity to lift my spirits.
“Fine, fine. Listen, how are you?” She sounds a bit pissed, which is good because she’s more likely to cooperate. “You sound dreadful, is everything okay?”
“Yes, I’m fine, it’s just hay fever.” I know that Tina won’t bother questioning why I’ve got hay fever at this time of year, she doesn’t do cross-examinations.
“In the last week of September?” Damn.
“Yeah, spores, you know,” I sniff for impact. “Where are you?”
“Having a bite to eat at a pizza bar,” she says cheerfully, “with a few friends from the office. How was Cyprus?” I tell her it was the perfect place to convalesce and did me the world of good.
“Listen,” I say tentatively, “I heard Ronan contacted you about Nick, has he been in touch with any more news?”
“Oh God, I know… poor Nick. No, I haven’t heard back from Ronan. I’ll have another glass of Pinot Noir,” I hear her say. “Sorry, Audrey, I’ve been trying to get the waiter’s attention for the last twenty minutes. A girl can die of thirst around here. You were saying?”
“You wouldn’t know which hospital Nick’s at, would you?” Tina doesn’t possess the high morals of Louise and George. She’s more of a follow your heart, life’s too short, kind of person. If anyone is going to give me any information about Nick, it’ll be her.
“No, Ronan didn’t say… Another pause as she speaks to the waiter again, “Oh, a large one please, thanks.”
“Tina, I’ll call you when you’re less busy… tomorrow, perhaps?”
“Okay, Audrey, we’ll talk properly then.”
“Oh, and one last thing, Tean.”
“Go for it.”
“Can I have Ronan’s number please?” Silence. “You do still have it, don’t you?”
There’s a pause and then, “Babe, I don’t.” She sounds nervous, unsure. She’s lying. “I never kept it in my contacts and erased all my log details a few days ago. Sorry. Look, we’ll talk tomorrow, yeah?”
Damn. I fling my phone onto the sofa and start chewing my nail. Clearly, George and Louise got to her first. What’s the matter with everyone? Have they no compassion at all? What do they think I’m going to do? Jump on an injured man?
I stand up then sit down again, rubbing my chin thoughtfully. I’ve got to see Nick. Just one last time. I need to know that he’s okay, that he’s being looked after. If I could just talk to him, say goodbye properly, then and only then will I have a fighting chance of moving on.
My phone throbs then flashes with a message. I glance at it quickly. It’s from Louise. I can’t read it, not now, I’m too wound up. I lean my head back on the headrest, staring up at the coving. I need a plan, a strategy. I could ring round the hospitals. Or I could contact the police, surely they’d have a record of the accident. But that’ll take hours, and will they even disclose any information to me? Isn’t it confidential? I’m not even his fiancé anymore. Then as I go to stand up I catch sight of the flashing red light on the answering machine. “Ronan couldn’t get a hold of you, didn’t have your mobile number.” Louise had said, which means he might’ve left a voicemail. Bingo.
8
Nick hasn’t really got any family, apart from Ronan, that is, and a few scattered relatives here and there, which is one of the reasons why we were so close. He used to love family get-togethers with my lot, possibly a lot more than I ever did. I think it probably had something to do with him being an only child. He’d often comment on how lucky I was to have a brother and nephews.
