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‘What would I say? “Hi completely out of my league woman who I live with, not to sound creepy but I love you!”’ he says, pained.
I try not to laugh at this. ‘Adam! Stop doing yourself a disservice. You are an excellent human being. How many people spend their weekends blowing up animal balloons for their best friend’s sister’s kid’s party? How many people give up their home on the regular for a meeting of dorks?’
‘Romantic Poetry Appreciation Society,’ he butts in with a smile.
‘Same same. How many people memorise the list of photographs and then spend a day trailing after the photographer just to help out? I’m telling you now, not that many. Poppy would be lucky to have you.’
‘You think so?’
‘Yes!’
‘She’s just … amazing,’ he exhales.
‘Well, steady on,’ I joke. ‘She’s actually a huge pain in the ass. Infuriating, nosy, extremely bossy …’
‘I know,’ Adam says with a dopey smile on his face.
‘You should go and tell her.’ I nudge him. ‘You might be pleasantly surprised.’
He’s pulling a face when my phone lights up on the bar between us and for the briefest second I wonder if it’s Joe. If for some reason he’s decided to come to the wedding anyway. If he’s abandoned York plans and has decided to stay. But the bubble is quickly burst when I realise it’s just the Barnaby’s Babes group chat.
Tally: Here’s the link guys! “How to give your vagina some tlc.”
Adam’s eyebrows shoot up.
‘Crikey,’ he splutters. ‘Should I leave you to it?’
‘Ha ha, no! It’s just my friend Tally, she’s been threatening to put up a post about vagina health for ages. I’ll, um, read it later,’ I say, turning my phone to silent and slipping it back into my bag.
‘That’s actually cheered me up, thanks, Soph.’ He chuckles.
‘Glad I could be of assistance!’
‘Right, my turn. You quite clearly need cheering up too. It’s Joe, isn’t it?’
Does everyone know?! Clearly I’ve reached the can’t-hide-it-anymore stage.
‘I’ve royally messed up there, Adam.’
‘Want to talk about it?’ he asks kindly.
‘There’s a lot to tell,’ I waver. ‘But, long story short, I’ve been pushing him away and now he is literally leaving and it’s my fault.’
Adam demolishes his bottle of beer. ‘Oh man, sorry to hear that. Is it too late to fix it?’
I think about Joe’s meeting in York tomorrow to finalise the job offer and the fact that even if I tried to salvage our friendship – let alone anything else – now, I’d be too late.
‘Yup,’ I reply, slugging the last of my own drink. I can already feel tomorrow’s hangover wiping me out.
‘Well, that’s shit. I’m sorry, Soph. You know, Poppy told me what had happened with Mark. For what it’s worth, I think you did the right thing sending him packing. Not turning up when he was meant to meet Lila was so off.’
Sometimes I forget that Adam’s been a part of this family forever. It’s so reassuring to hear this from him and I’m also pleased that Poppy talks to him like this.
‘Thank you.’ I squeeze his hand. ‘I think so too. I just realised that Mark was always going to let Lila down and I’m not having that. I want to surround her by people who care for her and put her first. Like me, Mum and Dad, you and Poppy …’
‘And Joe?’ Adam suggests with a knowing look.
‘And Joe,’ I echo as the words sink in. Joe is always there for Lila. He’s not showy or brash about it but he has become a constant in her life. And suddenly, the final piece of the jigsaw puzzle clicks right into place. All this time I’ve been ruling love out for my daughter’s sake. I can’t get tangled up in a relationship, I thought, because of the impact it might have on her. How did I fail to see how much Joe has already enriched her life? How much his reassuring presence has helped me create a more rounded childhood for my daughter. Mark’s been letting Lila down since day one, but Joe? Not once.
