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Suddenly the emotions I’ve been doing my damnedest to bury come pinging right up to the surface. Feeling this way about Joe isn’t a risk! It’s an opportunity for something wonderful in my life. And Mum was right to question how I’m always trying to prove myself. I’m done. And now it’s time to listen to my heart. Never mind waiting for him to get back from York. If I leave first thing in the morning, maybe I can catch him before he goes? And when I do, I’m going to tell Joe Kitson that I have very big, very real feelings for him.
But first, I need my little sister.
Chapter 31
Right on cue, Poppy is strutting towards Adam and me with a bottle of champagne in her hand.
‘Adam,’ I whisper, ‘I get the impression that you might want a heart to heart with Poppy and I’m sorry to ask, but do you mind if I steal her for a chat first? I know it’s terrible timing.’
‘I’ve waited long enough, another half hour won’t hurt,’ he says, and he looks so nervous to be honest I think he is probably quite happy not to face up to telling Poppy.
‘You’re a legend,’ I say, so grateful that I give him a massive cuddle. ‘You,’ I say, pointing at Poppy. ‘With me.’
‘You’re being very dramatic. Have you been drinking beer? I love drunk Sophie! Where are you taking me?’
‘To the beach!’ I say briskly, grabbing another two bottles on the way. We pad across the soft sand, the sun still burning bright beyond the sea’s crashing waves. The fresh air hits my skin and I take in revitalising breaths.
‘Shoot go okay?’
‘Really good.’ She nods as we find a rocky outcrop to rest on. ‘But you didn’t drag me down here for niceties. Come on, out with it.’
‘Right,’ I inhale. ‘I need to be honest with you about something. You’re going to be mad at me, but will you please listen to the whole thing before you start shouting?’
She cocks an eyebrow and motions for me to proceed.
Here goes. ‘I lied about my relationship with Joe. I did it for Lila, I had this huge mum guilt because she wasn’t getting invited to school parties and I thought that if Joe and I had this united front, I’d get accepted into the parent clique. I know it sounds stupid, but the thing is it worked! Joe and I concocted this whole fake relationship thing …’
I pause to look out over the choppy sea, a swirl of whites and blues. And then I push on, speaking fast now.
‘And, the truth is it got you off my back too. All the dates you’d wanted me to go on, that bloody app. I felt guilty because you’re my sister and the whole thing was a sham, but then I stopped feeling guilty because the more Joe and I hung out together, the more it felt like we actually were in a relationship. Saying it out loud makes me feel so stupid. And I’ve totally fucked up, because I didn’t realise how I felt and now that I’ve finally understood my feelings for him it’s too late! He’s moving to the other side of the country and—’
I wipe the tears streaming down my face.
‘I’m so sorry, Poppy. I was an idiot. I should never have lied to you.’
I chance a look at her now and see astonishment written across her face.
‘Let me get this straight,’ Poppy says after a long swig of beer. ‘You faked a relationship because you wanted Lila to get invited to parties and you didn’t want me to set you up on any more dates?’
I nod.
‘And now that you’re in a fauxmance, you’ve realised that you actually really like the guy you’re pretend-dating?’
I suck in my breath. Here comes the wrath of Poppy.
‘BA HA HA,’ she booms, explosive laughter scaring off a nearby seagull. ‘Oh my god, that is classic Sophie.’
Her whole body is juddering up and down as she laughs.
‘What do you mean, “classic Sophie”?’ I’m now slightly perturbed as well as embarrassed.
‘You are so stubborn! Heaven forbid anyone else tries to actually help you out. No, no, Sophie always has to get there on her own. Even if it means you follow the most circuitous route. But really this takes the piss, sis. A fake romance?’
She’s clutching her belly now. Just when I think she’s about to stop she catches my eye and cracks up again. It takes so long for Poppy to straighten herself out that I have emptied my drink by the time she’s finished.
‘You’re not mad?’
‘Exasperated maybe, but not mad.’ She dries her eyes. ‘Now, what’s this about him leaving?’
