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As much as I’d tried to reassure Ava that I wasn’t giving anything up and that I wasn’t doing it for her, but for the life I wanted us to have, she doubted. “I wish. But after the press conference, we can come back here and spend the rest of the day in bed. How does that sound?”
“We can’t,” she groaned, stretched and rolled over until her breasts were pressed to my chest and her hand was on my stomach. She pushed up on her other elbow and smiled down at me. Hair wild from the sleep and our previous night’s escapades, Ava’s blue eyes glimmered as she smiled down at me, a tiny line showing her worry between her brows.
I brushed the pad of my finger over the spot. “Don’t worry. It’s all good.”
“You’re sure?”
It was more a question than a statement, and I slid my hand up her neck until I was cupping the back of her head. “I’ll miss it. I know I will, but I’ve told you since last summer that when my time was done, I’d walk away. I want the life we can have together. And after what happened…” I cleared my throat. Last fall had been painful, and it wasn’t my leg or the knee surgery or the physical therapy that followed after. That was nothing compared to the work Ava put in for herself and the terrors she still had whenever she had to think about Jimmy.
Who was currently rotting away in prison until his upcoming trial that his lawyer kept managing to get pushed back.
“My life is with you,” I told her, careful of how I was touching her and not leaning in to kiss her like I wanted. She could still shut down on me when his name was mentioned, when she thought of him, and I had quickly learned what that looked like, so I didn’t spook her further. “There are no regrets about any of it, I promise you. The announcement today is a formality. The team already knows.” And hell, half the NFL had already predicted I was retiring.
The injuries on my leg were bad enough I still wasn’t sure I’d even be able to play again, at least not without living a career as a backup and that wasn’t what I wanted. I was healing, but to take the hits I’d have to take to stay a starting quarterback, it was still anyone’s guess. Maybe if I pushed myself harder with physical therapy, there’d be a higher chance.
My team’s season ended in the second round of the playoffs. We’d gone from being Super Bowl contenders to them fighting their way through every second of every game in their last seven regular-season games. They’d won four, but those losses were enough to push them out of first place in the division. The battle had been tough, and as soon as I was well enough, I’d been on the sidelines. I’d spent time with Potter, and I’d done everything I would have if I hadn’t planned on already walking away.
The day I hobbled into Ava’s parents’ home and saw her bruised and terrified and flinching from my touch was the day I learned that nothing, not a damn thing in this world, was more important than spending the rest of my life protecting her and loving her and simply being with her.
“I know.” She sighed and leaned down to brush her lips over mine.
I held her there, deepened the kiss, but not too much. We had to get moving, and we weren’t alone in my Denver home, which I’d be selling as soon as possible. Gavin and I were already working on floor plans to build a home for Ava and me. Not on my family’s land like Caleb had done, but on our own smaller acreage closer to town.
I pulled back from her kiss and ran my fingers through her hair.
“Mom’s probably already awake, making breakfast.” My parents had driven in, along with Bryce and Dalton, to be there with us during the press conference.
“Right.” She gave me a sleepy, glazed-over smile. “Let’s get moving then.”
She turned, rolled out of bed, and was on her feet. I took a moment to appreciate her curves, her body exposed to me because she hadn’t bothered to redress last night after I removed her tank top and sleep shorts.
I reached for her across the covers, letting the sheets fall below my hips. “On second thought…”
Ava laughed, shaking her head. She glanced down, saw how hard I was for her, and indecision flickered in her eyes before she turned those beautiful blues back on me. “Good try, hotshot. But I’m hungry.”
“Me too,” I groaned and laid back down in my bed.
Ava’s laugh echoed through the bathroom before the door clicked shut behind her.
At least I had her laughing and no longer worried. I didn’t have a single doubt about the decision I was making, but that didn’t mean the press conference was going to be easy to get through.
I’d spent my entire life fighting to become one of the best quarterbacks in the NFL. To go out after only playing one full season? Yeah, that sucked. I was going to miss football.
But that didn’t mean I wasn’t looking forward to what was coming next. We’d spent most of the winter in Denver since my physical therapy was strenuous, but we spent every weekend back in New Haven. It’d taken Ava a full month before she was willing to step back into her home again. Her dad, Isaiah, and I made sure it was perfectly clean, no sign of Jimmy left there when she went back, but that first night we’d been back, she’d spent it like a robot, moving mechanically through her house, so much so I’d finally asked her if she needed to leave.
“No. I have to do this. Be here. It’s my home, and he doesn’t get to ruin it for me.”
That night, we’d gone to bed, and I stayed on my side of the bed. It took an hour of Ava tossing and turning before she rolled toward me, scooted closer, and set her hand on my stomach. It was the only touch she’d allow, and by then I’d known not to reach for her.
The next day, she’d started calling therapists and started seeing someone as soon as we returned to Denver.
I rolled out of bed, swiping my hands through my hair. I needed to get moving.
Get showered and dressed. Eat breakfast.
And then retire from a career I’d dreamed of since I was five and figure out exactly what my post-NFL life would look like. But as long as Ava was by my side, I’d spend the rest of my life shoveling horse shit and do it with a smile.
My mom had her hands clamped tightly around one of Ava’s and one of my dad’s. I had to stop glancing their way as soon as I started my speech. My mom’s eyes started shimmering as soon as I started speaking. Blowing out a breath, I finished up and glanced at my coach.
