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And now my mind is reeling out of control. I want to hunt that fucker down and torture him in ways that would make horror movies look like they were produced by Disney.
I feel almost like I’m walking through a fog as Lance takes me to the pool house bathroom to wash up and throw on a shirt. I don’t pay attention to much as I head for the house, feeling exposed and uneasy.
Violet meets me at the door, her face pale and eyes wide with the kind of disbelief that makes a stomach turn. “I had no idea. Not about any of this. I mean, I knew she grew up in a trailer park and it was bad, but I didn’t realize it was this kind of bad.”
“I don’t know if that’s supposed to make me feel better or not,” I tell her.
“I’m sorry, Darren. If it’s any consolation, we’re all as shocked as you are.”
“It isn’t, but thanks.”
“There’s obviously a reason she didn’t tell anyone, including you and me.” Violet gives me a sad smile. “Alex and I are going to send everyone home. She’s in the living room with her mom.”
“Okay.”
I don’t know what to do with any of this. It explains everything and nothing at the same time. And even though I should probably be angry, all I am is sad that I wasn’t safe enough to confide in.
Before I cross the threshold, her mom appears in the doorway.
“I need to ask you something before I talk to Charlene,” I say in a hoarse whisper.
“Of course. I’ll answer if I’m able, but this is Charlene’s story to tell.”
I nod and take a deep breath, my stomach rolling. “Did anyone ever—” I swallow down the bile. I don’t know that I’ll be able to refrain from killing Frank if the answer is yes. “Did Frank—was she ever in physical danger?”
“Oh, Darren.” She settles a palm on my forearm and shakes her head. “Her childhood was a lot of messed-up things, but it wasn’t that. I got us out before she was ever at risk.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose, fighting against the sting behind my eyes and the tightness in my throat. “Okay. That’s good.”
She hugs me, and I stiffen for a moment, not expecting the embrace. But I accept it anyway, because for some reason knowing Charlene’s innocence was kept intact makes me feel marginally better.
Her mom steps back and looks up at me. For being as small as she is, she certainly has a dominating presence, so I can see how she ended up where she did. Sort of.
She tips her head to the side. “Does she know?”
I frown. “Know what?”
Her smile is soft. “That you love her.”
“I’m afraid I’ll push her away if I’m honest with her.”
She pats my cheek. “You’re quite perfect for each other, despite the odds.”
I find Charlene curled up in the corner of the couch, having changed into one of the new outfits she unwrapped this afternoon. It’s a Chicago T-shirt with her first name on the back, because I avoid using her last name whenever possible, and the number twenty-six, since it’s her birthday. I like that it’s also my number. Despite how warm it still is, she’s also wearing leggings.
She looks up when I enter the room, her eyes wary and her bottom lip caught between her teeth. I guarantee it’ll be chewed raw by the end of the day if it isn’t already.
“Are you okay?” I ask, advancing slowly, as if I expect her to bolt. She certainly looks like she wants to.
She lifts her shoulder and lets it fall. “Are you?”
“Not particularly, no.” I’m a lot of things at the moment, but okay is definitely not one of them.
She bows her head and raises her hand to her bare throat, but drops it right away when there’s nothing to fidget with. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” I want to rewind time and make us both different, not two irreparably damaged people trying to figure out how to be together without imploding.
“I should’ve told you,” she whispers.
“Were you ever planning to?” I let her into all my darkness, but it hasn’t been willingly. She’s had to drag it out, and now I’ll have to do the same with her.
She sighs and focuses on her hands. She’s holding something, rolling it between her palms. “I wanted to. I was going to, especially after I found out about your parents. But it seemed like too much all at once, and trying to explain . . . I thought I could wait until after playoffs were over, but then with the expansion draft still looming, there was always a reason to wait. I didn’t want to risk it.”
“Risk what?”
“Losing you before I had to.”
“Why would you think you’d lose me?”
She looks up, her expression guarded. “Nothing about me is normal, Darren. My childhood was messy and fucked up.”
