AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Visit the Grand Canyon
Get a tattoo
Fly on a plane
Be in two places at once
Watch the sunrise and sunset in the same day
Take lots of pictures
Spend time with those I love
See Niagara Falls
Swim in the ocean
Fall in love
Get married
Have a baby
* * *
My heart feels as though it’s going to beat its way out of my chest. I expected bungee jumping or skydiving. Not… this. Basic everyday living. I choke back a sob as what’s happening settles deep in my bones. My best friend is dying. There are things on this list that she will never be able to accomplish, and my heart breaks for her.
“Amelia.” I look up to find her watching me.
“I’m sure I can think of more, but you know I don’t really know how much time I have.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell her to fight, but we’ve been down that road. Her mind is made up, and I told her I would respect that. I do respect that it’s her decision, but I hate it. I hate that I’m losing her. It feels as though she’s giving up. I know that’s not the case. She’s grabbing life—what little she has left—by the horns.
“This is a start.” I manage to push the words past my lips.
“We better get moving.” She takes a sip of her coffee then stands and saunters off to pay the bill, all while I sit frozen, her list gripped tightly in my hands. Some of these she’ll never make happen, but for the ones that I can control, I’ll see to it she gets to mark them off her list.
My best friend wants memories. I’m going to give them to her.
“Would you stop fidgeting? We know the results. This isn’t some life-altering appointment. I’ll get the numbers from my bloodwork, tell them I’m not taking treatment, and then we’re out of here,” Amelia says, reaching over to take my hand in hers.
She’s trying to comfort me. I need to get out of my own head, my own grief, and be there for her. “I’m sorry. I’m still adjusting to all of this.”
“Knock knock,” a female voice says. “Amelia.” The woman holds her hand out and Amelia shakes it.
“Hi, Dr. Hampton. This is Mara, my best friend.”
“Nice to meet you, Mara.” She holds her hand out for me and I take it as well. “How are you feeling?” she asks Amelia.
“Good. Still have the lingering cough. I get tired easier. Then again, that could just be my mind playing tricks on me. Other than that, I feel great.”
I watch the two as they talk back and forth. “Being that tired is to be expected as your body tries to fight off the cancer. Expect more of that along with nausea, vomiting, and headaches when you start treatment.”
“About that.” Amelia glances over at me. “I’m not taking treatments. I want to live what time I have left not being sick.”
“Amelia, you do realize that without treatment, the disease will steadily progress. With treatment we can hope that it slows down. Giving you more time.”
“I do. I also know that the chemo and the radiation will make me sick, and there is no guarantee it will slow the growth.” She glances over at me. “I took everything we talked about, and this is my decision. I don’t want treatment.”
“Okay.” Dr. Hampton nods and looks down at the folder in front of her. “There are some results I need to discuss with you. Is it okay to speak freely?” She nods at me.
“Yes. I’ve told my friends and family. Everyone knows. Is it worse than we thought?” Amelia’s voice is strong, but her hand that’s holding mine is shaking.
“No, but we did find something new in your bloodwork.”
“Okay,” Amelia says slowly.
The silence in the room is deafening as time ticks by as we wait for the doctor to tell us what they found. My heart thumps in my chest, my palms are sweaty, and I want to scream at her to spit it out already. I’m so afraid it’s worse than what they thought. That we have even less time than we had hoped to have.
“Amelia.” Dr. Hampton closes the folder and focuses on my best friend. “You’re pregnant.”
I’m not sure whose grip is tighter, hers or mine. I do know it’s tight as we each try to process the bomb that was just dropped on us.
“W-What? I think I heard you wrong. Can you repeat that?” Amelia asks.
“You’re pregnant.”
No. No. This is not happening. Please, God, no. I don’t need her to tell me to know that her baby is Seth’s. The man I love. She’s having his baby. I don’t know how to process this. I’m at a loss for what to say or do or think.
“Pregnant? That’s not possible. I’ve— Oh, God.” She glances over at me and I see remorse flash across her face. “Mara,” she whispers.
“Considering your current circumstances, I would suggest you terminate the pregnancy.”
“What?” Amelia’s head whips around to face the doctor. “Have you lost your damn mind? I’m not taking treatments, so I can have this baby. My mind was made up before, but now, now I know why. I mean, I didn’t know then, but it makes sense to me now. My gut was telling me no treatments. This is why. I’m keeping this baby.”
I close my eyes and focus on breathing. This can’t be happening right now. Why? Why, when things were starting to turn around for me, does life have to twist my new reality?
“Mara.” Amelia’s voice is soft and pained. “Talk to me.”
Slowly, I open my eyes to find Amelia and Dr. Hampton watching me. “I-I don’t know what to say.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispers.
“Amelia—” Dr. Hampton starts, but she cuts her off.
“No. I’m keeping this baby. You’re not going to talk me out of it. What you can do is send my records to my obstetrician, Dr. Hatfield.” She stands and holds her hand out for me. “Let’s get out of here.”
I don’t take her hand, but I stand and robotically follow her out of the office, down the hall, out of the building, and to my parked SUV. I stop next to the driver’s side door and focus on getting my emotions in check.
“Mara, I’m so sorry. I know we used protection. I— Please just talk to me.”
I
stare at her over the roof of my car. “Seth, you need to call Seth.”
“I will. I’ll tell him. Right now, I’m worried about you. Why don’t you let me drive?”
“No.” I shake my head and it wakes me out of this fog I’ve been in since the doctor dropped the news. “No, I can drive. Call him. We’ll go back to o-our place.” I stutter over my words. Will he still want it to be our place? So many unanswered questions now that this new development has been revealed. Does he want us to stay? Do I want to stay? Does he want this baby? Question after question runs through my mind as I drive us home.
Chapter Fifteen
Seth 15
* * *
I’ve checked my phone for what feels like a thousand times. I told Mara to call me if they needed me today. The guys have all been quiet as we wait to hear how Amelia’s appointment went today.
“Hear anything?” Ridge asks as I’m sliding my phone back into my pocket.
“No. Not yet.”
“She’s not going to change her mind,” Tyler speaks up.
“We might as well accept that,” Mark adds.
“Remember when we were in high school and she was determined to drink us under the table after prom? She drank until she made herself sick. She’s never been one to be swayed once she makes up her mind about something,” Kent recalls.
“Yeah,” I agree. “I hate it, but it’s her choice. We just have to be there for her and support her through this.”
“How do you support someone through death?” Mark asks. “I mean, I was there for Dawn, but it wasn’t her who was dying. How are we supposed to stand back and watch it happen?” He shakes his head.
“We don’t have a choice. This is her decision,” Ridge comments.
“You.” Tyler points at me. “You’re the one who is going to get the worst of it. She and Mara are close. That’s double for you.”
“I know.” I run my hands through my hair. Our families have been through so much these past few years. Would it be too much to ask for some good news for once? Before I can voice my thoughts out loud, my phone rings. Rushing to grab it out of my pocket, I see Amelia’s name on the screen. “Hey,” I answer, mouthing her name to the guys.
