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“Hey, Seth. We’re back at your place. You think boss man would let you come home early? Mara needs you.”
“I’m on my way.” I end the call, shoving my phone back in my pocket. “That was Amelia. They’re back at my place. She asked me to come home. Says Mara needs me.”
“Go.” Ridge reaches out and takes the hammer I was using out of my hand. “You need us, you call.”
“Thanks.” I barely have the words out before I’m rushing out to my truck. I don’t bother to wait for it to heat up. Instead, I put it in Drive and crank up the heater. Mara needs me. I have to get to her.
I break more traffic laws than I care to admit on the way to my place. We’re working on a job that’s about a half hour away, but I make it in just under twenty minutes. The truck is barely in Park when I’m pushing open the door and jogging up to the front porch. “Mara!” I call out as I enter the house.
“In here,” Amelia calls back.
I make my way to the living room following her voice and find Mara curled up on one corner of the couch, a blanket thrown over her legs, and Amelia on the loveseat in the same position. I get to Mara and drop to my knees in front of her. “Hey, baby. What’s wrong?” I ask like a dumbass. I know she’s upset about Amelia, but this is not what I was expecting. Sure, I expected her to be sad, but this… this is more than sad. Her face is streaked with tears. Her eyes are full of pain and red from crying. She’s curled into herself.
“Seth, maybe you should sit down,” Amelia suggests.
I turn to look at her over my shoulder. “What happened?”
“Sit.” Amelia nods to the couch.
Standing to my full height, I sit next to Mara on the couch, pulling her legs onto my lap. She doesn’t even acknowledge me. “Hey.” I lean into her, kissing her on her forehead. “I’m right here.” I place my arm around her shoulders and pull her into me. She comes willingly, sliding onto my lap, but she’s still not speaking. “Tell me what’s going on here.” I look across the room at Amelia. She looks tired, and I can tell she too has been crying, but she doesn’t look as though the world is coming to an end, not like Mara does.
“We got some unexpected news today at my appointment.”
I wrap my arms around Mara and hold her close to my chest. “Okay. Are you going to fill me in or do I have to guess?” I’m getting irritated that she won’t just tell me what’s going on.
“There’s really no easy way to say this, so I’m just going to blurt it out. You know, like pulling off a Band-Aid.”
“Amelia.” My voice is low, a warning that my patience is wearing very thin.
“I’m pregnant.”
Pregnant. Oh, shit! I squeeze Mara tighter as she begins to cry. “P-Pregnant?” I ask, even though I know I heard her.
“Yes.”
“What does that mean?” That’s a stupid fucking question. I know exactly what it means. My palms sweat and I’m sure if I were standing, my knees would be knocking. This is the last thing I expected to hear today. Is it safe for the baby? Is it safe for her? A million questions filter through my mind. I can’t believe this is happening.
“Seth, do you really need me to explain the birds and the bees to you?” Amelia asks, her tone playful. She’s hiding behind humor.
“Stop.” Again, my voice is firm. “Stop with the kidding around. You know what I meant. What does that mean for you? For the baby?” I’m trying to remain calm and ask the right questions. I’m trying like hell not to show her that I’m freaking out.
I’m going to be a father.
Amelia is pregnant.
She’s dying.
Holy fuck!
“It means that I’m having a baby. It means that you’re going to be a father. It means that I’m dying, and this baby is going to be your responsibility. It means that you’re not going to change my mind. No matter what you say, I’m keeping this baby.” She wipes at her eyes and continues. “I never thought I would get to be a mom, to know what it’s like to feel my baby growing inside me. You gave me that. Our one drunken reckless night gave me that. I’m a strong believer in everything happens for a reason, and I believe that’s why we got trashed and ended up in the same bed together. I was meant to know this… love. This bond between mother and child. I already feel it, Seth. That’s why I felt so strongly about not getting treatment. I feel it deep in my soul. This was meant to be.”
Mara is holding onto me as if I might disappear. Then again, maybe that’s me holding onto her. I can’t believe this is happening. I love Amelia; we’ve been friends for as long as I can remember, but that love, it’s nothing like the love I feel for Mara. For Finley. I will love this baby with everything in me. Will Mara? Will one night destroy the future we are building? I pray to God that it doesn’t.
“How are you feeling? How is the baby?” I keep my eyes locked on her looking for signs she might be hiding the truth about how she’s feeling, while my arms are locked tight around Mara, holding her close. She’s my lifeline in this sea of unexpected events.
Amelia’s smile, although tired, it lights up her face. “I feel good. I’m drained and have this stupid cough that comes and goes, but I feel good. Great in fact. I want this, Seth.” She reaches for the table and grabs an envelope with writing on it. “Earlier today Mara asked me to make a list of things I wanted to do before this disease takes me. I thought it was silly, but she was finally accepting my decision to not take treatments, so I obliged her. Right here, on this list I wrote become a mom. I knew it would never happen, but it was something I wanted regardless. Wishes do come true. I want this, Seth. This baby. I need you to tell me that you’re on board with this. That you are going to love this baby for both of us when I’m gone.” Her voice cracks and she clears her throat. Amelia, always the strong one, never wanting to show emotion.
“What kind of question is that? This is my child we’re talking about. Of course I’m going to love and care for him or her. How can you even ask me that?”
“I know this is a lot to take on. I know I’m blindsiding you with this, but, Seth… I love this baby.” Her hands cover her still flat belly.
“Is this safe for you?”
“I’d already decided I wasn’t getting treatments.”
“Did you know? Is that why you’ve been so adamant? Did you know you were having my baby and didn’t tell me?” Mara flinches in my arms when I say my baby, but I hold tight to her, needing her close.
“No. I didn’t know. I promise you. I did, however, have this gut-wrenching feeling that I didn’t want treatment. I meant it when I said I didn’t want to be sick, and I want to make memories. I mean that with all that I am, but this… this baby is a bonus. I get to be a mom. I get to feel my child growing inside me. I get to witness the miracle of life, and most of all, I get to leave a piece of me behind. I may be dying but this baby, he or she will live for me. I know it sounds crazy, but it makes it all a little easier. To know that when I leave this world, part of me, not just my memory, but part of me, my blood, my heart, will still be here.”
“We have to get you checked out. Get the baby checked out.”
“I’m way ahead of you. My oncologist is sending my file to Dr. Hatfield. I’m going to call when I leave here to make an appointment.” She stands and wipes at her eyes. “I know the two of you need some time. I didn’t want to leave her alone.” She walks over to the couch and takes a seat on the coffee table facing us. “Mara,” she whispers and waits for Mara to look at her. “I love you. I’m sorry. I know this has to hurt you and be confusing for you. When I told you that I don’t have feelings for Seth, I didn’t lie to you. He’s one of my best friends. I’m happy it is him, because that means I know this baby will be loved and cared for after I’m gone. I’m sorry this is happening to us, but I’m not sorry about this baby. He or she is my blessing.” Reaching out, she gives Mara’s shoulder a gentle squeeze. “I’ll give you two time to talk. Call me if you need anything. I’ll let you know when my appointment is.” She
stands and grabs her coat, slides into her boots, and walks toward the door.
“Amelia, wait. Are you okay to drive? Where’s your car?”
“I’m fine.” Her hand rests on her belly. “Mara drove. I’ll have Mom or Dad drive me back later and drop off Mara’s car. I’ll text you before I come.” With that, she walks out the door.
My mind is a mess. Jumbled full of the information that Amelia just dumped on me. First and foremost, I’m going to be a father. Mara tries to pull away, but I hold tight. “Talk to me,” I whisper.
“I’m afraid to,” she says through her tears.
“Hey.” I lift her chin with my index finger and turn her to face me. “What do you mean you’re afraid to? There is nothing you can’t say to me. I know you’re upset, but I promise you that night meant nothing. But this is my baby.”
“I know that. I would never ask you to walk away from your child. I just…. Where does this leave us? Do you want Finley and me to leave? This is a huge change for you, Seth. One that you’re not ready for.”
“No,” I say firmly. “You’re not leaving. This is your home. You’re my home. You and Finley.”
“But, Amelia?” she says, letting the unspoken question hang in the air.
