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Broderick Masterson is a dead man.
HONEY
I wake up in the thick darkness of my bedroom, alone. Glancing over at the alarm clock on the nightstand, I see that it’s past one in the morning. I’d been so out of it after revealing my dark secret, that I only vaguely remember Payne carrying me to bed last night. Is he still here? Reluctantly, I sit up and cradle my pounding head in my hands. Even though I’m emotionally drained, I feel as if a huge weight has been lifted off me.
Pulling my hair into a ponytail, I trudge down the hall, to check in on Kason. I’m thankful to find that he’s still fast asleep in his bed. I close the door back behind me and walk back down the hall in search of Payne, but he’s not here.
He’s gone?
Of course he is, you idiot! How could you be so stupid to tell him? Now, he’s never coming back!
Stepping towards the large living room window, I peer out across the street, to the familiar spot where Payne’s black truck is always parked. Not only is it gone, but all the lights in his house are out, as well.
Where can he be, this late?
I walk back to the kitchen double checking to see if he’s left a note, but again, there’s nothing. Since, I don’t have his cell phone number, there’s no way I can call him. Bright headlights suddenly illuminate the front of my house, and my heart begins to race.
He’s back. Oh, thank God, he’s back.
I quickly rush back to the living room and look out of the window panel beside the door. My heart plummets when I see Kyra coming up the walkway, instead. From reading her stiff body language, I can tell that she’s more than pissed about something. Taking a deep breath, I open the door and prepare myself to hear about her night.
“Ugh! I swear I’m giving up men. They’re all selfish fucking assholes!” she declares, throwing up her hands in defeat. Dropping her bag at the door, she walks over and collapses onto the couch. In a confused daze, I follow behind her and sit in my favorite oversized chair, curling up and hugging a pillow into my stomach for comfort. As Kyra begins filling me in on the details of her “date from hell”, her words soon fade into distant mumbles. Over and over, I try to focus back on what she’s saying, but all I can think about is Payne.
The early light of dawn slowly erases the darkness of our living room. Kyra has gone to bed, hours ago, but I stayed, knowing it won’t be long before Kason is up. In desperate need for some caffeine, I head to the kitchen, to make some coffee.
As I take a slow sip of my drink, I can only imagine how disappointed Kason will be that Payne’s not here when he wakes up. My son and I both seem to be victims of his betrayal. How can anyone be so heartless? The longer I sit at my kitchen table, the angrier I become at him, at myself. I trusted him. I’d bared my soul to him. He’d made me promises. How can the man, who held me last night, walk out without so much as a goodbye?
Fuck him!
The pent up fury overtakes me. I hate him! Full of rage, I reach over and grab my cell phone, demolishing it as I throw it down hard onto the ceramic floor. Overwhelmed, I collapse into my folded arms and cry onto the table.
How had I been so stupid to let him in our lives? Why did I have to fall in love with him?
I wish I never met you, Payne James.
Chapter Twenty-Six
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
PAYNE
I feel like a zombie, staring into the blurring lights of the oncoming traffic. So far, I’ve managed to put more than four hours between us. I can still taste her delicious pussy on my lips. Right now, there’s no way I can put into words, the multitude of emotions circulating through my body. The line between love and hate is contorted; I don’t know what to make of any of it.
She’ll never know how much I hate myself for leaving her, for breaking my promise to her son, but I don’t have a choice. No matter what it takes, I will keep them safe at all costs. But before I can do anything, I’ve got to get my head back in the game. There’s only one person in the world that can help me do that.
I’m going to visit a ghost.
As I stare up at the familiar, two-story Victorian house, everything begins to resurface. I still remember how excited Cole and Kacey had been the day they’d moved into it. Even though the old house had needed a lot of work, they only saw it’s potential. Cole loved spending every available minute on some new project. I used to joke that his grandchildren would be born before he got everything done. It had been their dream home. They were going to raise their family here… grow old here. Now, everything has changed.
It had been over three years since I’d last visited her. After Cole died, I thought staying here might prove to be too difficult for her. Not only did the house, hold memories, it also held a hefty mortgage. Even with life insurance and military benefits, it wouldn’t have been enough to keep her afloat for very long. Her and the kids had already lost so much, I certainly wasn’t going to let them lose anything else. After things had settled down a bit, I’d decided to pay her a visit. If anyone deserved to know the truth, it was her.
I’ll never forget the shocked look on her face when she saw me the first time I visited. She kept looking behind me, hoping and praying that Cole would step out of the shadows and everything in her life would be okay again. But that only made everything harder about my visit. Because of her husband, I was standing there in her house, alive and well.
I spent the next few hours telling her every single detail about that day. I’d known it wouldn’t change the outcome, but she deserved to know the real truth about what happened, not the lie that the military had fabricated. While she cried in my arms, I hated myself even more for living. I wanted her to be angry with me. I wanted her to hate me. Instead, she grabbed my hand and made me promise her that I would stop blaming myself. I never agreed to that promise. I couldn’t. I knew it would be one I could never keep.
When the time came for me to leave, I gave her a large yellow envelope, full of money I’d saved from my contracted jobs. It had been more than enough to pay off her house and make sure they were comfortable for a while. Even now, I continue to send her a percentage of what I make. They will never want for anything. I will make damn certain of that.
I slowly slide my hand up the porch rail, smiling as I admire Cole’s handy work. It had been the last project he’d finished before we left on our last mission. Climbing the porch steps, I take a deep breath and press the brass button to ring the doorbell. The familiar musical chime pulls at my heart. By the time she opens the heavy mahogany door, I feel the flood of emotions hit me at once. Her sweet, comforting smile quickly turns into a frown. Like always, she can see right through me.
“Payne James, you’ve broken your promise to me, haven’t you?” she scolds, ushering me inside.
I walk around the living room looking at all of the framed photographs adorning the large cherry bookcase. So many wonderful memories captured. So many future memories lost. I stop and pick up the frame and smile. It’s a picture of Cole and I, when we first were stationed together in Texas.
Everyone in that unit had been like a brother to me, but with Cole it had been different. I felt like he understood me, thought like me. He was the only person who could talk sense into my thick skull when I knew I was acting like an ass. I miss him more and more every day. What I wouldn’t give for him to be able to help me get my shit together right now.
“I remember that day.” Kacey approaches my side and places her hand on my shoulder. It’s been five years, but she still wears her wedding ring.
