Page 57 of Hockey Player Seeking Fan

“So basically you’re saying to me that life is complicated, and I’m overthinking everything and should just go with the flow.”

“I’m saying that if you want to fuck this dude, or any other dude, go for it. What does it matter if he’s the one? If you can look into a guy’s eyes and you want him and he wants you, experience that pleasure. Fuck, experience all the pleasure you can, because there’s always going to be pain in life. Always. So you know what? You might as well get the pleasure before the pain because the pain’s coming anyway.”

I stare at her for a couple of seconds. “Why does that feel like the worst, yet the most insightful advice you’ve ever given me?”

“I don’t know. Why does it?”

She grabs my hands and looks me in the eyes. “Erica, you’re beautiful, you’re funny, you’re great. Yeah, you’re not really sure where you’re going in life, and you have unrealistic expectations about men, and you may be a little bit of a prude?—”

“Hey,” I say.

She laughs. “But still, you’re an amazing catch. Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re not. You’re going places. And justbecause your podcast isn’t blowing up right now, doesn’t mean it’s not going to. It doesn’t even mean that that’s what you’re meant to do with your life. We’re young. We have an opportunity to make mistakes and learn and grow from them. And honestly, Tyler’s hot.”

“He is kind of hot,” I say, wrinkling my nose.

“Girl. He’s fucking gorgeous. And if you didn’t want him, I would want him.”

“Hey, hands off,” I say quickly, and she bursts out laughing.

“See, you are into him.”

“I mean, I’m notintohim, into him, but I’m notnotinto him.” I groan. “Fine. I don’t know what I’m thinking. I just know that he and I aren’t really on the same page, so do I really want to complicate it with someone who’s my brother’s friend and just?—”

She cuts me off. “You’re overthinking things again, Erica. Stop. You cannot let your entire life be based on overthinking. Take one thing and overthink that, then tell everything else to fuck off and just go with the flow.”

“What do you mean?”

“That’s something one of my therapists said back in the day.” She starts laughing. “Turns out that my therapist was a raging alcoholic and ended up in rehab, but she said some really good things to me before that happened.”

“Yeah, I guess. Thank you for the advice.”

“Look, if you like Tyler and you want to fuck him, fuck him. If you like Tyler and you want him to go down on you, let him go down on you.”

I blush lightly.

“You don’t have to tell me what may or may not have happened already, but I’m just saying, live your life and be happy. Because one day, we’re going to be old and gray, and we’re going to look back and be like,Why didn’t I fuck that hotstranger? Why didn’t I give that blowjob in the back alley? Or why didn’t I get myself licked under the table at a five-star Michelin restaurant?”

“Really?”

“Sorry. Maybe those will be my thoughts when I get old and gray.” She starts laughing. “But you’re okay now.”

“I’m okay,” I say, nodding. “Thank you for listening to me.”

“You know I love you, bitch,” she says. “If I hadn’t met you and Sabrina and Helen, I don’t know where I’d be in life. Most likely some miserable ho in the back alley right now, getting fucked by some dude that didn’t even really want me. But instead, I’m here with you, giving somewhat okay advice.”

“It’s pretty decent,” I say, smiling.

“You want a cider or something?”

“Yeah, that would be nice. Maybe we can watch a movie and just chill.”

“I’d like that. Sometimes it’s nice to just veg out and not think about guys and just hang with your girlfriends.”

“Exactly,” she says.

“Because we both know tomorrow morning, guys will be on our mind,” I say, and we both burst out laughing.

Chapter Sixteen