And she deserved it. That much Laura knew. She could be mad at him for refusing to accept what she’d said at face value, but she was mad at herself too.
She should have stopped all that before it had gone too far. He’d given her every opportunity to. And she hadn’t. It had all been too…too good.
So this was all her fault. She could admit that. She swallowed at the lump in her throat and went to lock the door behind Ty.
It would be better if they’d never known how good, that was for sure.
She picked up her discarded purse, tried to think her way through this. This was bad, but she’d fix it. If it was her fault, she could certainly fix it.
Maybe he just needed a few days to cool off. Then they could talk and find a way for things to go back to normal. It was just a little mistake. They could fix it. They meant too much to each other not to fix it.
The flickering of lights had a new pain searing in her chest. Because if there was a positive potential outcome, there was alsoa terrible one. Like it was all over. Ruined. Maybe he wasn’t dead like poor Lissy’s soldier husband, but maybe this was a death of sorts.
And it was all her fault.
She practicallyranfrom that horrible thought. Down the stairs and out through the back. She needed some salty air and bracing cold. She’d walk home along the beach.
Before she hit the sand, she slipped her heels off.God, it was cold. So cold it was hard to think about anything else as she walked.
Perfect.
But the closer she got to the cottage, the heavier the lump in her throat seemed to grow. The lights all being off felt metaphorically awful somehow and tears began to track down her cheeks.
She couldn’t stop the tide of tears as she climbed the stairs onto the deck. She couldn’t stop the little sob that escaped, then grew. It was freezing, but she didn’t want to go inside and wake Grandma up with her sobbing, so she lowered herself onto a deck chair, shivering and sobbing into her hands.
She wasn’t sure how long it lasted. The pain seemed to go on and on forever. The tears never ending. It felt like those early days of losing her family all over again. Like the sorrow would never, ever run out.
She heard the sliding glass door rumble open, followed by her grandmother’s voice. “Lara?”
Oh, hell, she couldn’t let Grandma see her this way. She used the hands covering up her face to wipe the tears away, not that it could possibly hide what her face would look like. Maybe she could blame it on the cold.
“Sorry if I woke you.” She rose carefully trying to keep her face tilted away from the light coming from inside. She tried toscoot past and worked hard to keep her voice even instead of squeaky. “I’m just going to go take a shower and?—”
“Lara.” Grandma put a hand to her arm, turned her so she had to face her grandmother. “What’s happened?”
Lara shook her head, trying to pretend like it wasn’t that big of a deal even though her face no doubt betrayed her. “Ty and I had a bit of a fight, that’s all.”
“That isn’t like you two.”
“He…” She looked at her grandmother. The only person who could understand, surely. Grandma would support her. She’d agree. She’d support Lara and then… Then they could find a way to put things to rights. Grandma would know just want to do to get Ty to come around. She always did.
Lara wiped at her nose. “He wants to change things between us.”
“Romantically?”
Lara nodded, then let Grandma pull her inside. Grandma nudged her into a kitchen chair, then grabbed a blanket from the basket she kept them in and wrapped one around Lara. Once she was satisfied, she met Lara’s gaze.
“And?” Grandma asked.
“And… Well, we can’t do that.” Lara look down at her lap, not being able to meet Grandma’s direct gaze. “We’re friends. That’s all I want to be.”
When Grandma didn’t say anything, Lara had to look back up. Grandma didn’t nod along or agree. She was looking at Lara like she’d grown a second head. “But you love him,” Grandma said, like it was all so simple.
“As a friend,” Lara said firmly.
“Oh, Lara.” Grandma sighed in a way that Lara associated more with her high school years. All the things Grandma didn’t understand about how she should be allowed to have a cellphone or go to coed sleepovers, and that patentlyI do not understand youthsigh.
It felt a lot more insulting now. “What? Why can’t it just be friendship? Why does it have to be more?”
