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The gazebo at town center was lit up like a Christmas tree. White lights were wrapped around the base and crown. I stood at the back end, lined up with the steps, alone except for Lauren who was by my side. The crown was on the opposite end, sitting in foldable chairs and on blankets on the grass. I knew because I’d been on that end many times in the past. It’s how all events were handled. All throughout the year the kids would put on plays, some of the men would put on musical concerts, and the Seven held several town meetings.
“Just relax and be yourself,” Lauren told me.
“Yes,” I replied.
“Are you nervous?”
“A little bit.”
I wasn’t so worried about seeing the crowd. I was worried about the changes that were to come. At the end of this night, I would either leave with a potential suitor, or if I decided I needed more time I could leave alone, but either way I would be headed to my new home. I was getting one of the big ones built on the other side of town. I’d seen the work crews busy preparing my house. My house.
Yes, life would change.
“I’m ready,” I said.
“Okay,” Lauren said. “Just remember. When you get up there, walk back and forth in front of the crowd a couple of times and then take your seat at the center.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
I could hear Samantha at the microphone. She usually handled ceremonies.
“…our newest Dove, Jessica Meadows, to the stage! Each new Dove is a dawning day.”
The crowd repeated, “Each new Dove is a dawning day.”
And that was my cue. I stepped forward in my snow white dress, trying hard not to step on the bottom of it as it hung as low as the bottoms of my shoes. Lauren took my hand and helped me up the first step. Then I was on my own.
As I ascended each step, the crowd came more and more into view. First only the tops of people’s heads and then their entire faces. The whole town was there. Then someone lifted the lid off the jar of butterflies in my stomach. All my insides were fluttering and I felt as if I could take flight.
It was all a blur. I barely remember reaching the platform and walking back and forth. I passed a little wave to the audience and they cheered louder. Then I was sitting in my seat, wearing my myrtle crown, which I don’t even remember receiving. I just felt the weight of it on my head.
Members of the Original Seven were walking back and forth in front of me, saying the customary speech that accompanied every coming-of-age ceremony, which almost never happened. Tilda would be the next to turn eighteen so they’d have two more years before they’d have the opportunity to do this again.
Samantha took the reins again and made a gesture for everyone to pipe down. The crowd settled.
Bethany walked onto the stage, or I should say right in front of me on the gazebo, and read a passage from Our Divine Book which was basically, from what I’ve been told, a compilation of passages from The Bible that gave positive remarks about the female form mingled with the thoughts, quotes, and stories from the Original Seven. It was a book that had constant additions.
The book was small but was so important to our way of life. It was mandatory reading for all Doves and fellows.
Samantha reclaimed the mic and the crowd grew silent. Everyone knew what was coming. The fluttering in my gut turned to plain ol’ bile and I felt like I might puke. I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t ready to leave my home and be with men. I thought I was. I thought I wanted sex but there was so much more to it.
I scanned the crowd, searching for Kent. I didn’t see him. Where was he? I needed him. He was a constant in my life and I needed that grounding, to know I was still in the life I knew.
“Each new Dove is a dawning day,” Samantha began.
I couldn’t make out her words. I felt as if I were sitting in an underwater throne. Blurred faces and slowly moving people made up the crowd. Where the fuck was Kent? Or even Pike? No, Kent. Where was Lauren? I’d left her at the back of the gazebo. I took a deep breath. I was losing it and needed to regain control.
Another deep breath. It calmed me and I focused on Samantha’s words. They became louder and clearer.
“And for each dawning day must a fellow be present. For a Dove to bear a child, whether it be male or the one true special gift, a female child, a fellow must come forth to plant the seed within the womb. Our new virgin Dove requires seed of another. And for that purpose we ask if there are any suitors among us wishing to vie for the opportunity to plant a seed in this beautiful womb?
“Now, this is more than the sexual act. To step forward means to offer oneself truly and wholeheartedly. It means every day from this one forth to be honestly dedicated to the happiness of this Dove. To put a smile on her face and warmth in her heart means to truly live a satisfied life. It means working, building, and living solely with the intention of pleasing this Dove.
“And on that note, I must ask, do we have any suitors with us tonight?”
The crowd was silent. I scanned the many faces and they sharpened from their earlier blurred forms. I saw familiar faces. Then I was waiting to see who would speak up. No one did.
Oh my God. How embarrassing.
