“I don’t know what to do,” I cried. For several moments, Ella held me and let me cry. She didn’t try to fix it. She didn’t push me to talk anymore. She just sat with me and let me cry until I felt like I couldn’t cry anymore. When my breathing slowed and she felt my shoulders start to sag, she stood and extended her hand to me.
“Come on.” She pulled me to my feet and wrapped an arm around my waist. “You don’t have to have it all figured out today. First things first, we get some food in you and maybe a few glasses of wine. We watch some horror movies because love is dead. Grace and I will make some cookies that won’t ever make it into the oven because we’ll eat the dough out of the bowl with spoons like the heathens we are. And I’m not going to leave your side. Not now, not ever. No matter what you do, you’ll never have to do it alone. Now. Food.”
She guided me to the kitchen where Grace was making grilled cheeses. I leaned against the counter as Ella busied herself opening a bottle of wine.
Then, I caught a glimpse of a box of Strawberry Pop-Tarts on the counter, and I felt the hot tears spill down my cheeks once again.
I forgot he was gone as the light filtered through the blinds early the next morning, my eyes still hazy with sleep. I forgot for one blissful second that my entire life had gone up in flames. I thought I would open my eyes to see him as I’d done so many times before.
Only when I opened my eyes, it wasn’t Jax’s face I saw.
Ella, Grace, and I had fallen asleep, all of us piled in my bed along with Mama sometime after the fifthHalloweenmovie. Thankfully, the wine had allowed me to fall into a dreamless sleep, my body finally giving in to the exhaustion. As I laid there in the early morning light, I replayed the previous day over and over in my mind.
I leaned over Mama, pulling my phone off the nightstand. I illuminated the screen to see no missed calls or messages from Jax.
My heart sank, even though I knew he had no reason to ever talk to me again. I knew I’d done the right thing for him. But knowing I’d never hear his laugh or look into his storm-cloud eyes again was enough to make me feel like my chest was caving in.
My inbox and social media platforms were thousands deep with messages, probably about the dozens of press pieces I’d seen the day before. I couldn’t bring myself to look at any of them. Instead, I locked my phone and placed it back on the nightstand.
“Hey,” Ella said, turning over to me.
“I should go to the bakery today and try to start sorting through this mess.” I wiped at my cheeks with the back of my hand.
“Nope,” Ella said flatly. “I’ve got it under control. You’re going to stay here. Sleep, take a bubble bath, watch more Michael Myers, whatever you need to do, but you’re not coming to the store. Grace and I are going to go home and change for work. We’ll take care of things there, and then we’ll come back over tonight, or you can come to our place if you need to get out of here. Whatever you want to do.”
I knew she was right. Truthfully, I was of no use to anyone like this. The last thing I needed was for the paparazzi to be camped outside the store only to get a glimpse of me looking like a mess. I needed to lay low right now and let Ella handle things at the store. “I think that’s a good idea. I’ll stay with you guys tonight. I’ll need to get out of this house.”
Grace had stirred from Ella’s other side. “We can have a pizza night. We can bring home some cupcakes from the bakery.”
“That sounds good.” I nodded.
“On that note, we better get going so we can get to the store.” Ella yawned and rubbed her eyes. “But we’ll both be checking on you. Do you need anything before we head out?”
“I’m okay.” I forced a smile. “Thank you both for being here. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“We love you, Aunt Liv,” Grace said sweetly. “We’ll always be here.”
I followed them to the door, but Mama lingered lazily in the bed. Ella pulled me into a hug before grabbing her purse off the floor, and Grace wrapped her arms around me.
“We’ll see you this evening,” Ella said. “Let us know if you need anything at all, okay?”
“Okay,” I agreed.
Ella started out the door, but Grace stopped and turned back toward me. “Aunt Liv?”
“Yeah?”
“For what it’s worth, I know Jax loves you. He wanted to make you happy,” she said sadly. “He told me so.”
“What?” I asked, taken aback.
“The day we were getting ready for your party,” she said. “He told me then, and I believed him.” Tears spilled out onto my cheeks. “I may not know everything that’s going on, but I think he really does want you to be happy, even if that means he doesn’t get to be.” She gave me a wistful smile and embraced me once more. I watched as she and Ella pulled away, and I closed the front door, leaning up against it for a moment.
I looked down at the guitar on the floor of the foyer, and my heart sank. I grabbed the handle on the case, picking it up. I walked the few steps into the living room to grab my other guitar. Awkwardly, I carried both instruments down the hall to my bedroom, setting them on the floor as I flung open the closet door.
One by one, I shoved them both into the closet behind the racks of clothes and coats. I moved the hangers around until not one speck of either case was visible anymore. I buried them along with the dream I’d had since I was nineteen and any hope I’d had of a future with Jaxon Slade.
Chapter 32
