“I’m still not convinced that it’s over,” Liv said.
“I mean, he left. How much more over can it get?”
“What if he did get a little scared?” Liv asked. “He should have communicated that to you, but especially after the accident and Sam’s cancer scare, I could see how his response might be to kind of freak out and run. What if he realizes what a mistake this was and wants to make things right?”
“I don’t know, Liv.” I shook my head. “What if that’s his response every time things get scary? I don’t know if I could risk being hurt again.”
“You once told me that love is a risk no matter how you slice it. Love isn’t about choosing who you think won’t hurt you. It’s about choosing who’s worth hurting for.” Liv recited my own words to me, advice I’d given her back when she wasn’t sure if she should take a chance on Jax.
I pretended to be offended. “Using my own words against me.”
“No, that’s not what I’m trying to do at all,” she promised. “But I just think about what happened with me and Jax. If you’ll remember, I hurt him pretty badly too. I know the circumstances are different, but I can’t help but wonder what would have happened if Jax hadn’t given me another chance. I wouldn’t have the beautiful life I have now.”
She had a point, but Cash hadn’t even attempted to call me. “I guess I’ll cross that bridge if I ever come to it. For now, I’ve got to figure out how to tell Grace.”
“I think you tell her exactly like you told me,” Liv said, “but no matter what, I’m going to be there for you. For both of you. It’s always been us, and it always will be.”
She squeezed my hand, and for the first time since Cash left I felt a sense of calm. Maybe my relationship with Cash would never be okay. But somehow, I would be.
* * *
The next morning,Grace padded into the kitchen where I was having coffee while Bradley Cooper scarfed down his breakfast.
“Morning, sunshine,” I said as she pulled a mug down from the cabinet. “Need any help?”
“I’ve got it. Really, I’m feeling a lot better,” she assured me as she carefully poured coffee into her cup. “Still sore and I can only use one arm, but overall I feel pretty good.”
“I’m so glad. I hate seeing you hurting.” I watched while she maneuvered around the kitchen, pouring cream into her coffee. I knew I needed to tell her about Cash. I could keep waiting for the right moment, but the reality was that it was going to hurt no matter when I did it.
Liv was right. I needed to just rip the bandaid off.
“I’m worried about Cash,” Grace said, taking a seat across from me at the table. “I know you said I needed to rest, but I texted him a couple of times to see if I could help him with whatever work he’s doing, and he never replied. The more I think about it, the way he left the other night was weird, don’t you think? This isn’t like him.”
It’s what everyone kept saying, and deep down, it’s what I felt too. None of this felt like Cash. “Sweetheart, we need to talk about something.”
She raised her brow at me. “I don’t like the sound of that.”
“I haven’t been completely honest with you.” I took a sip of my coffee and cleared my throat. “You’re not wrong about the way he was the night Sam was released from the hospital. He left suddenly because we had a bit of an argument. He’d been acting distant since the accident, and he said he needed to go home and take care of some things. Admittedly, I got a bit frustrated because we’d planned on having dinner together. I knew how much you were looking forward to it, and I pressed the issue.”
“I mean, I was looking forward to it, but it was okay.” Grace tapped her fingertips along the side of her coffee cup.
“I know,” I said. “So, early the next morning I went to his house to talk. I didn’t like how we left things, and I wanted to apologize.” I braced myself for the words I would say next—the ones I knew would break Grace’s heart. “When I got there, I found that Cash was leaving to go to the airport.”
“Where was he going?”she asked.
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “I said it was a work thing because I honestly didn’t know how to tell you. I didn’t want to hurt you, but you deserve to know the truth.”
“None of this sounds right,” Grace said, shaking her head. “Did I scare him off when I told him he felt like a dad to me? Was this my fault? Is that why he won’t text me back?”
“Absolutely not. This is between me and him,” I explained. “He’s probably not responding to you because he can tell by your text messages that you don’t know what happened yet. He’s probably being respectful of both of us. I may not understand why he’s doing what he’s doing, but I know better than to think he would ever intentionally hurt you.”
“Why do you think he left?”
I sat thoughtfully as I replayed my conversation with Liv in my head. “Everything happened so quickly. Sure, we’d known each other a long time, but the actual dating part was still new. I think the accident and what happened with Sam was probably a lot for him to swallow, and it likely brought up a lot of unpleasant memories for him.” My throat tightened. “He probably realized he wasn’t ready for this kind of relationship yet.”
“But he loves you. I know he does,” she insisted. “He never said so, but he didn’t have to. It was obvious. He can’t walk away from you like that. Away fromus.” Her eyes burned with a mixture of hurt and anger.
“Sometimes you don’t know you aren't ready until you've already arrived, and I’d rather him realize that sooner than later.” I reached across the table for her hand. “It’s better for us to end it now than months or even years down the road.”
