She is, of course, correct in her concern, because here I am pining over my best friend, awkwardly sharing a bed with him every night.
“It’s just... messy,” I say, because it’s the closest thing to the truth.
“The sharing one bed thing, or the fact that you insisted I date a random person you found at Blue Lagoon?” He seems to be trying to lighten the mood.
“You picked her out yourself,” I point out.
He laughs, and the sound of it feels like home. It makes me long to touch him, just lean into his warmth, but I don’t allow myself.
We sit for a long time, waiting under the stars for some color to form. Luke lies back on the blanket, and eventually I join him. The ground is cold, even with the blanket offering a thin barrier.
I shiver involuntarily, and Luke shifts next to me.
“Alright, come on,” Luke says, beginning to scoot closer until we’re touching from our thighs up.
There’s so much clothing between us that there shouldn’t be anything intimate about it, but he’s so close to me that I feel an instant reaction in my body. I’m not sure whether to curl myself against his chest or pull further away to stop myself.
Luke settles back down, lying on his back with our arms touching.
“Comfy?” I ask, making sure my voice stays steady, though I feel more nervous than I’ve ever been on any date. We both have our full winter gear on and are now sharing the blankets,piling everything on top of us to keep warm.
“I didn’t imagine waiting for the northern lights to be this cold.”
When he talks, I can see little puffs of steam from his breath.
“No pain, no gain,” I say.
“That’s for workouts.”
I shrug. “Or people too cold to wait out the northern lights.” I squint my eyes toward the sky.
There are dozens of stars peeking out through the blanket of darkness, some brighter than others. In the corner of the sky is the moon, a perfect crescent floating above us. It gives a faint glow, just enough light to make out the features of Luke’s face when he turns toward me. He shifts until he’s lying on his side, his gaze on me.
“Thanks for inviting me to come on this trip,” he says gently.
My gaze feels pinned to him, and I take a nervous gulp. “Of course.”
“It’s kind of magical here,” he practically whispers. His eyes bore into mine with a type of kindness that only comes from love. But for Luke, it’s more like a sibling love. It’s not the type of love I want from him.
“It’s a whole other world here,” I agree. I’m not just talking about Iceland. I’m talking about him. How ever since we’ve arrived, I’ve seen him differently than I have for the past twenty-two years. It’s messy and confusing, but in my gut, I know that it’s the thing I’ve wanted all along.
I keep my back firmly on the ground, afraid that if I turn to face Luke as well, I won’t be able to stop myself. Even now, looking at him, our faces so close, all I would have to do is leanforward to kiss him. Iwantto kiss him. It would be as simple as breathing. With the air cold, our breath hot, we’d complete each other.
Or I’d fall into the sand while Luke darted away.
Luke lets the silence hang too long, and I swear he scoots even closer, leaving just mere inches between our lips. All I would have to do is turn my head.
If the text was a joke, why torture me? Why let me get so close, why imagine kissing him, for a joke?
I panic and sit up, pulling the blankets up with me. Cold air brushes against my back and side where Luke’s warmth had been.
“Harper?” Luke asks, sitting up next to me. He puts a hand up, like he’s going to touch my back, but then he drops it. Our legs are tangled with each other’s. Luke notices at the same time I do, and he pulls away until all I’m left with is a cold echo of where he’d been.
“Sorry, I thought I saw something.” I point to the sky.
Luke looks up, studying the dark expanse, but there’s nothing to see. He moves to pull his phone out of his pocket.
“How long do you want to stay out here?” he asks.
