One of the healers bustled in and busied herself over at the small basin in the corner. “You’re fine visiting Mister Eryx, as long as you stay on his side of the room and keep your voices down during our examination.” With a quick tug of her wrist, she pulled the curtains separating us further so my view was completely obstructed.
I stepped over by Luka’s window, fingers tapping incessantly along my arm. “When will you be released?” I asked, not paying attention to his answer and instead keeping my eyes locked on the two figures on the other side of the curtains.
“This afternoon, should everything go well. Do you have anything planned?”
“I’d love to.”
Was she awake yet? Will she remember what happened, or will someone have to tell her?
“When I get out, I may try to capture a dragon and ride it across Aethion. I heard there was a sighting not too far from here.”
“Yeah, of course.”Will she want to see me? Will I be okay if she doesn’t? Am I foolish to have come here?
“And then after that, I will take Lachlan’s place and take over Helia with a sea of shadow people.”
“Seems reasonable,” I mumbled, tapping my foot anxiously. I could clearly picture the outline of her body through the relatively thin drapes. There was an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach that had me regretting my decisions. I should have stayed away and checked on Eva or Alric instead.
“Damien,” Luka warned, snapping in front of my face. His gaze moved to meet mine, and he furrowed his brows. “You weren’t listening to me.”
I blew out a breath, running a hand through my short strands. “I’m sorry. I’ve been on edge since everything happened. I suppose it’s weird being out and about again. As horrible as it felt being a captive in my own kingdom, my tower had become a safe space for me. I didn’t have to worry about anything other than ensuring Lachlan met his end. Now I don’t know what to do or where to go.” The only thing I did know was that I couldn’t stop my eyes from drifting toward those curtains over and over again. She was so close, and I could feel her presence filling the room.
“Well, when I leave here, maybe we can sweet talk Briar into making us a feast!” He tossed a wink in Briar’s direction, and she rolled her eyes and swatted him with a small towel she’d used to cover the pastries.
I laughed, some of the tension easing out of my shoulders. “Sounds good to me. She’s been cooking non-stop and fretting over everyone as normal. The head healer forced her to leave last night, so she’s channeling that anxious energy into her cooking.”
“Don’t be telling lies now, boy!” Briar warned as the curtain was drawn back.
“It’s not a lie, and you damn well know it,” the healer said, returning to the basin and washing her hands, the two of them jokingly bickering in the background.
But all thoughts eddied from my mind as Renai’s battered body came into view. She sat against the headboard, drawing up the covers around her chest. Dark, mottled bruises covered her face and body—from the little we could see—and several cuts and gashes ran along her arms. Her face was drawn into a deep scowl, but she kept her gaze down.
My hands fell to my sides, and I couldn’t stop myself. I was moving before I could question it, but Luka’s voice broke the barrier briefly as he said, “Damien, maybe you should—”
I didn’t hesitate to drop down by her side and take hold of her hand. Her skin was chilled, goosebumps pebbling her skin. Since I’d woken up, my healing abilities had slowly returned. The temptation to heal her was too great, and I reached toward her face. “I’m so thankful you’re okay. I’ve been worried sick about—”
She quickly slapped my hand away. “Get.Out.” Each word was punctuated with cold venom, and she showed no sign of remorse as my eyes widened. I couldn’t move, my body in shock at her harsh tone. I’d expected it to some degree, but notthis. But just when I thought she couldn’t possibly break my heart more, she continued. “Youare the reason Kalen is dead. If you had let me go to him sooner, I could have saved him! He would be standing here today, and I wouldn’t have felt like I’d lost everything,” she said, her voice breaking as tears began to fall.
The air was sucked out of my lungs, and my vision blurred. It was as if she already knew my darkest fears and turned them against me. I was helpless to her assault, but if she believed I deserved it, then I would painfully carry that guilt for her.
“Renai, I was only trying to protect you,” I said, trying to placate her the best I could. “You were my priority. I’m sorry I didn’t get there sooner, but I was doing the best I could—”
“I wish it was you,” she mumbled, meeting my gaze. Her eyes were full of hatred, the blue depths shimmering with unshed tears. Silence descended, each person waiting anxiously to see what would happen. “If I could go back and put someone in his place, it would’ve been you. I hate you. I fuckinghateyou, so get the fuck out and don’t come back. That’s what you asked of me, wasn’t it? So pay me the same godsdamn courtesy.”
I felt the truth in her words through our bond. It burned furiously as if acid had been poured down my throat, and I was forced to choke on the rising bile. I’d told myself only moments ago that I would be the scapegoat if she needed me to be, but this wasn’t helping her. If anything, her words only fueled her rage until it was all she felt.
I hadn’t had much hope when I’d woken up this morning, but now I had nothing. Renai had seen to that, slicing me open with a knife and gutting me completely until I was nothing but a hollow shell—a man that naively had some level of hope before walking through the door. She was hurt and grieving. How could I be angry with her for something I’d already thought myself? Kalen should be here; he should be the one at her bedside, offering her comfort.
The healer came over, brushing down her skirts and gently touching my shoulder. “Perhaps it would be best if you—”
“LEAVE!” Renai shouted, sobbing as she crumpled into herself. She rocked back and forth on the bed, wrapping her arms around herself. “The next time I see you, I will fucking kill you!”
Luka pushed out of bed and hurried to her side, pulling her into his chest. Her hot tears soaked through his light tunic, and he only gripped her tighter. “Go on, Damien,” he said quickly. His face was grim, leaning his cheek against the top of her head. But where was I supposed to go when I could hardly move? The pain was too great, too much for me to contain, and I felt myself slipping away. When I didn’t move, he spoke again. “Please, Damien. This is hurting her. We can talk when I get out.”
This is hurting her.
Those were the only words I heard as I bowed my head and slowly backed out of the room. I couldn’t help but linger and watch Luka wrap his arms around his cousin tighter, whispering soothing words of comfort in her ear. His gaze met mine, as he pressed a kiss to the side of her head.“I’ve got you, Ren. I’ve got you.”
The echo of her painful cries would be forever imprinted on my mind, and there was nothing I could do about it.
