“Dammit Ellie, you’re making me take a man’s side. He’s right. I’m afraid you’ve made a downright mess again, my love.” Her tone is soft, but her eyes are stern. “You need to fess up, and you need to own it. Griffin is going to be hurt, and probably pretty angry. You need to lethim be.” We both slide out of the booth and head for the door. “I know you, Ellie,” she says. “Don’t get defensive. Don’t be impulsive.” She opens the door for me, following behind as we walk to the car. “Jack is right. If you leave him without warning again, it’s going to destroy him. And there won’t be any coming back.”
I grab her arm and turn her to face me, silently begging for any reassurance or help she can offer me. “I don’t know what to do, Abby.”
“Just be honest,” she implores. “And don’t make another unilateral decision. For as scared as you are, he’s probably equally terrified of history repeating itself. So don’t let it.” She gets in the car without another word, and we drive home in tense silence. We both know what’s going to happen, and at this moment, even though I’m her best friend in the world, we both hate me for it.
Chapter 46
Griffin
August, Age 21
Something’s wrong. I don’t know what it is, and I don’t know if I want to. All I know is that as we sit silently on the basement couch, it’s not a comfortable silence–it’s heavy and full of dread, like when someone is walking toward you and you just know they’re bringing bad news with them.
“Hey Griffin?” she whispers softly, a hint of anxiety in her voice that makes my stomach drop.
“Yeah, darlin’?” I ask, feeling as anxious as she sounds.
“I need to tell you something.”
My mind is reeling. One of the things I love most about her is when she blurts out what she’s thinking without preamble–if she feels like she has to preface a conversation, it can’t be good.
“Okay,” I say hesitantly. “Tell me something.”
With a sigh, she moves from where she was leaned into my side, turning on the couch to face me.
“I’m not going back to campus in the fall.”
Wait, is this a good conversation? Is she staying here with me?
“I got offered an internship,” she continues. “In Boston.”
“Boston,” I repeat.
“Yeah, Boston,” she says, gaze dropping to her hands. “I leave at the end of August.”
“But that’s in two weeks,” I say, panic rising in my throat like bile. “Why didn’t you say something?”
She looks back up at me, tears welling at her waterline.
“Because I wanted to keep you for as long as I could.”
Is that what she’s worried about?
“Darlin’,” I say with a relieved chuckle, scraping my hand down my face. “You can keep me and have Boston. I’m not going anywhere.”
The tightness in my chest immediately loosens. As much as I hate the thought of my girl being on the other side of the country, I love her bigger than any distance between us.
My smile falters at the pain-stricken look on her face as she shakes her head no.
“No I can’t,” she says. “Because I need to do this on my own. I need to find myself, to belong to myself. I can’t do that if my heart belongs to you.”
Her voice breaks on the last word, right along with my heart. There’s no way this is happening again. There isnoway she just gave me the happiest summer of my lifeagain,just to leave me in the dustagain.The ache in my chest turns to rage, and I jump to my feet.
“So let me get this straight,” I say, fighting to keep my voice steady even as my hands shake with anger. “You knew about this all summer. You knew you were leaving Texas. And you knew you were going to leaveme.And you did it anyway?”
“Griffin, I–”
“I’m not done,” I say sharply. “I barely survived the last time you left me, Eleanor. You’ve gotta know that. Why would you do this again?”
