“What in the actual fucking hell?” I say slowly and loudly, so loudly I feel all the eyes at the table turn to me.
“Are you okay, Maeve?” Jenna slides her hand closer to me across the corner of the table. I only see it out of the corner of my eye because my stare is still fixed on my phone and on the name, @ElBaby.
“Bad news? Oh, God, I hope not. I hate bad news! That would really ruin a very lovely evening.” Jake is flapping on my right.
“Maeve,” my brother says when I don’t reply.
“It’s nothing,” I say, shaking my head and trying to gather some of my senses again.
That’s exactly what it is, right? It’s nothing, no big deal, just a weird coincidence, and anyway, shouldn’t I be more worried that I’m going to be delivering a keynote speech to a room full of sex workers when I range from being sex-averse to sex-neutral depending on the day and have only just come out as queer? Yes, actually, as it happens. I am quite worried about that.
Maybe knowing Loncey, in some form that I can’t quite define, will actually help me.
“Maeve! Can you just confirm that nobody has died and that the world isn’t going to end tomorrow? That would be especially inconvenient as I have a hair appointment in the afternoon when we get back to London. Thank you all for not mentioning how wild it looks,” Jake says and I look up long enough to watch him run a hand through his floppy dark blond locks.
“No, it’s nothing bad. It’s just… it’s information about my upcoming Vegas trip.”
“Where you’re going to deliver a speech about asexuality?” Jenna adds and I love her so much for the way she listens to me and well, everyone, so diligently.
“Yeah, kinda.”
“But what’s so shocking? Did they book you a four-star hotel, the scoundrels?” Marty teases.
“No, it’s just… someone I know will also be there. That non-binary person I was just telling you about, in fact.”
“Oh, are they asexual too?” Jenna asks.
“Not exactly,” I say, flinching a little.
“What do they do?” Rami asks, splitting a piece of bread and giving Jake half.
“They are… a sex worker. An online sex worker. You know, on MyFans.”
“Oh,really?”Jake’s face lights up. “Tell us more!”
“I don’t have much to tell. They’re from the States, they have a MyFans that’s pretty successful, I guess, and they’re also onother social media talking about… well, sex stuff, mostly, but really it’s also a lot about intimacy in general.”
Marty and Jenna share a look, as Rami nods thoughtfully, listening to my every word. Meanwhile, Jake pulls his phone out of his pocket and asks, “What’s their username?”
“ElBaby,” I say without thinking it through, and I blame the two glasses of red wine I’ve drunk. My eyes land back on Jenna and Marty and when I see them look at each other again they both have slow-growing smiles on their faces.
“Oh, Jesus Christ and his mother Mary,” I say, my stomach flip-flopping. “You know them already?”
“Well, we don’tknowthem…” Jenna begins.
“Not personally anyway. But we do knowofthem,” Marty adds with a nod, his hand now on Jenna’s thigh.
“Jesus fecking wept. Are you subscribers?” I ask, very accusatorily.
“If we say yes, are we in trouble?” Jenna says apologetically.
“Fuck me into a muddy ditch, they are beautiful!” Jake declares on my other side. “Look, Rami. Look at this beautiful human being!”
“Honestly, you’re all a bunch of sex-mad—”
“Now, there’s no need to shame us, Maeve,” Marty butts in. “We don’t just watch them to… get off. Their content is very educational so it’s actually sort of research for Jenna.” He looks at his partner who nods in agreement. Jenna is a sex and relationships journalist and is currently working on her second book after her first was a bestseller in Ireland and the UK.
“I even expense our MyFans subscriptions, actually,” she adds.
