His fingers brush up and down my arm tenderly.“What happened?’
I squeeze my eyes together as a memory of my mother fills my vision.I shake my head.“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Okay,” he says, and his lips press against my forehead.I want more of his touch.So much more.I want to feel anything other than what I’m feeling now.
I want to feel ...wanted.
I move until I find his lips and kiss him.He kisses me briefly, but then pulls back.“You’ve been drinking.”
I search out his mouth again, but this time he holds me away from him.“Why?Why would you do this?”
It all comes back to me then with sobering sharpness, and I feel like my heart is being sliced apart.
“My parents kicked me out because I killed Harper.They hate me.They blame me.”Anger rises through me.“It’s all my fault, isn’t it?I can’t do anything right!”I stand and the world starts to spin, but when Chase tries to help me, I push him away.
“Let me help.”The concern on his face reminds me of why I don’t let anyone too close.
“I don’t need your help.I don’t need anything from you.”I turn my back to him and take a steadying breath.I can’t drag Chase into this.No one should have to suffer with me.I can’t hurt anyone else.Especially not Chase.I’ve already hurt him too much.“We can’t do this, Chase.”
“Do what?Tell me, what is wrong?”
“This!You and me.Nothing can come of us.We live in totally different worlds, and I don’t deserve you.”
“Don’t say that,” he says.“Let’s get some coffee and some rest.Everything will be better after some rest.”He pulls me against him, and I lean my head against his chest.I breathe in his earthy scent.I love him.I have always loved him and I probably always will.And that is why I must do the right thing.I push hard against him.
“No.You have to leave me.You can’t save me,” I cry.“You couldn’t then, and you can’t now.”His expression falls from hope and sympathy to anguish.I can’t stand to be the cause of his pain, so I start to walk away from him.
“That’s right.Fly away, songbird, just like you always do!”he yells at me, causing me to stop.He comes over to me then and stands in front of me.
I look around the park, grateful it’s deserted, so no one except Max is witnessing this.
“You always do this when things get hard.You always run away.Just tell me what happened.Let me in.Please, Bayleigh.”
I look into his beautiful eyes, and it breaks my heart to hurt him.“No, you deserve so much better than this.”A tear rolls down my hot cheek.“Let me go, Chase.”
One thing is for sure—our fling is over before it has ever really started.Which is just as well.I’ve been kidding myself that it is only about sex, that the heat between me and Chase is all desire and lust.There is too much of the past mixed up in my attraction to him.It would be very easy to let myself start to believe in something that would never be.
He releases his grip and I spin away from him before I can change my mind.I need to get away from him and from this town.Coming here was a huge mistake.
CHAPTERTWENTY-THREE
Chase
My head is throbbingon the drive back to the ranch.Emotions are running wild, and I’m torn between wanting to scream at Bayleigh for being so reckless and wanting to hold her and tell her everything will be okay.But honestly, I don’t know if it will be.How can I possibly help someone who won’t help themselves?
The sting of her words makes my heart ache.There is so much pain still locked up inside her, and I want to help—I’m just not sure how.Now she has locked me out again.Her default when things get bad seems to be running away, and she’s doing it again.She’s pushing me away once more.
Maybe it’s for the best.When she left the first time, it put my life on an entirely different path.I didn’t know what to do without Bayleigh.She had been my reason—my north star.Without her, I was left to forge a life I had never expected to live.The pain of not just losing the woman I loved, but the life we had planned to build together had just about killed me.But I had made peace with it.I had rebuilt my life and found purpose working on the ranch.But then she came back and busted down the walls I’d thought I’d built so strong.She is the only one who can affect me like that, and I want to hate her for it.I hate myself for being so weak where she is concerned.I should have stayed away from her.I knew it would be trouble if I saw her again, but I couldn’t help myself.Now I am paying for not trusting my gut and avoiding her.
I park my car outside the main house and head inside.I need to talk to someone about all this and I’ve always respected my mother’s opinion, especially when it comes to Bayleigh.
I open the front door and the smell of pot-roast cooking in the oven greets me.I ground myself in the familiarity and safety of this house.I see my mom come over to greet me as I toe off my boots, and the thought occurs to me how lucky I am to have this.Family.Even if it’s just my mom.
Bayleigh has no one.In fact, her mother hates her and blames her for the accident.How must that make her feel?I couldn’t even start to imagine.
“Are you okay?”Mom asks me.“You look pale.Come sit down.Dinner’s ready to be dished out.”
I take my seat at the dining table and watch her in the kitchen, serving the food.“I just saw Bayleigh.She’s not doing well.”
