Lazarus closed his eyes as he leaned his head back against the altar.“Nice.”
I gave him a pass on his sarcasm because I could only imagine what he was going through right now.It couldn’t have been easy to be a bystander to something that you’d had no control over, especially for a man.Refined or not, Lazarus Copeland was still all male, and like most men, he had an inherent need to provide and protect, and I was woman enough to be able to appreciate that particular trait.
“I can’t remember the last time that I took one, but I could use a vacation right about now,” I muttered tiredly.“I’m thinking somewhere cold.”
Lazarus’ head lowered to look at me.“Cold?”
“I’ve got a scar on my ankle and hand from playing too close to the fire, so I can officially say that I’m not a fan of heat, not that I ever really was,” I drawled out.
“I can do a cabin in the snow,” he replied sweetly.
After a few seconds, I asked, “Do you love me, Lazarus?”
“Like I can’t fucking breathe with it,” he replied quickly and easily.
“That’s good to know,” I sighed tiredly.“Very good to know.”
Lazarus eyed me.“Do you love me?”
“I feel like your soul lives inside of me, right next to mine,” I told him honestly.“So, yeah, I love you, Lazarus.”
He didn’t say anything as he crawled my way, then taking me in his arms again, he said, “I will never doubt you again, baby.”
“Lazarus-”
“No, don’t let me off the hook,” he said, interrupting me.“Heaven and Hell aside, I never should have judged what you do.I never should have dismissed that helping people is still noble, no matter which way you go about it.I was an asshole, and I’m so fucking sorry, Elisa.”
“It worked out,” I reminded him as he held me tighter.“We’re fine, Lazarus.”
“I want things to more than just work out, Elisa,” he replied seriously.“If I can’t protect you, then what good am I?If I can’t...”He stopped to let out a deep sigh.“My belief in you, my unwavering support of you, and my love for you are all supposed to make anything that you want possible, and I dropped the ball on that four months ago.”
“You weren’t in love with me four months ago,” I pointed out.
“I’ve been in love with you since my first memories of existence,” he replied sourly, not appreciating how I had dismissed our earlier connection.“I’ve always fucking loved you.The tattoo on my chest should be proof enough.”
“While I can appreciate that, blaming yourself for something that neither of us could have predicted won’t help anything, Lazarus,” I informed him.“While this is something that neither of us will ever forget, we came through this for a reason, and regret isn’t that reason.We are a symbol of something great, and we need to always remember that.”
After a few seconds of silence, he said, “I need more than just this one lifetime with you, Elisa.I need to love you in the next life or meet up with you in Heaven, but whichever, I just know that I need you forever.I need you eternally, baby.”
I didn’t say anything to that because there was nothing to say.We both knew that neither of us had any control over what happened next, and so all we could do was hold onto our faith and to each other; the rest we could deal with as it came at us.
I also wasn’t scared.Instead, I felt a certain kind of freedom that my faith had finally been proven true.While I hadn’t ever doubted my belief in God, it was still hard not to struggle when you heard about school shootings, child trafficking, and animal abuse.Nonetheless, I’d rather struggle with the evil in the world than ever become desensitized to it.I never wanted to be able to witness human or animal cruelty and not feel anything; I didn’t ever want to have to explain something like that to God when the time came.
“Maybe we should head to my office,” I suggested before letting out another tired sigh.“Sooner or later, someone’s going to need the chapel.”
“You’ve got a point,” he replied, sounding just as tired as I felt.
Five minutes later, we were in my office, but it was just for show.Lazarus had told Juliette and Milo that he was here to see me for help with a patient, and so the plan was to hang out for a little while longer before taking our leave.However, truth be told, I wasn’t opposed to just going to sleep here in my office.I was exhausted, and I knew that Lazarus had to be, too.
After all, it wasn’t every day that you fought a legion of demons.
