Maybe I just don’t want him to leave me when he finds out what’s it’s really like to be with me. That’s the truth. It’s not that he’s a guy, and the thing is . . . I don’t even see gender when I see him. He’s just Bo. He’s my Bo.
My head picks up as the door creaks open, but my shoulders sink when I see it’s not Bo. Instead, Jamie and Hunter walk out here. “Hey, um, just checking on you.” Hunter walks out into the enclosed space.
Jamie doesn’t wait for me to answer, he just takes the chair at the end and sits down, putting his feet up on the table. Hunter rolls his eyes, opening a window a tiny bit. “Not going to let you hotbox us in here.”
Jamie reaches into his pocket and grabs his bowl. In the light, I laugh. “Penis tattoo, penis-shaped pipe.”
“Noah got it for me. Says it’s the only other thing I’m allowed to be sucking on.” He packs it full. I hear the spark of a lighter and look over at him as he tilts his head back and blows out smoke. “So, how are you holding up after all that?”
“Oh, great. Never better.”
“Enough said.” Jamie eyes me, and it’s a bit unnerving. Honestly, I’m a bit intimidated. He’s a big guy, with tattoos and piercings, and a hard stare that seems to only turn soft when Noah’s in his line of vision.
“You guys can go. I just wanted some alone time,” I say.
Jamie ignores me, leaning over and handing the bowl to Hunter who takes it. Okay then.
“Seriously, you guys don’t have to do this. Our boyfriends are friends, no big deal.” Jamie smirks, stupid slip. “I meant our friends, my friend, your . . . I’m shutting up now.”
“Real smooth, Cam.” Jamie snorts, patting my knee. Some of the tension I’ve been holding onto eases some. Jamie starts to laugh.
“What’s so funny?” Hunter asks before taking a drag and handing it back to him.
“Life. It’s funny. Last year I wouldn’t have given a fuck about any of this. Giving a fuck feels weird. Sometimes it sucks, feels real sticky. Like my skin doesn’t fit right.”
“Well, it was therapy and be nice, or be single.” Hunter laughs. “Can’t tell you which I prefer.” Hunter cracks open a drink, offering one to me.
“Thanks.” I take it, drinking a bit to calm my nerves.
“Have you ever been rimmed?” Um, is he talking to me? Jamie looks right at me.
“I—I don’t—I mean I—”
“Life-changing.” He smiles.
“I don’t understand.”
“What Jamie doesn’t realize is that his boyfriend has been training him like a dog.” Hunter laughs. “He does something nice and gets a little treat like a good boy.”
“He’s not training me like a dog!” A blush strikes his cheeks. He blows the smoke out away from me. Not that it’s doing anything in this mostly enclosed porch. “My back has been killing me all day. Tried some of those exercises this morning. I don’t know, I may have to accept the fact that I’ll never have cum gutters.”
“I liked it better when you were miserable and celibate.” Hunter glowers.
“Says the man with cum gutters.” Jamie’s lolls his head toward me. “Do you know his boyfriend sounds like a dying hawk when they’re fucking?” Hunter throws a pillow at him.
“I hate it here. I thought when you and Noah got together we wouldn’t have to put up with this shit. But it’s only doubled. Your forces only grew stronger. Cam, I would run if I were you.”
Jamie grins, sinking into the chair and taking another hit. “I love my life. So weird to say that out loud. I have friends, the love of my life, we’re at the lake house in winter. It’s fucking beautiful out here.” He leans forward with a grimace, handing me the bowl.
“No thanks.” Hunter takes it from him instead. No pressure. “So, you two are really happy, then?” I ask, a bit curious. He and Noah seem completely opposite.
He nods, grinning, as he relaxes back fully into the chair. “I’m so fucking happy.”
Hunter shakes his head. “He’s been stoned out of his mind since we got back. Normally he’s not this chatty.” He hands Jamie his bowl back and he places it on the coffee table. The sweet smell is growing thicker, and my eyes sting a bit.
“How long have you and Mark been together?”
“About four years. We met in college.”
