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“My father has warned me away from you. In fact, he is truly angry at the idea that we might like each other.”
“He is afraid of what society might whisper,” she said, closing her eyes briefly.
His heart was a pained ache inside his chest. “I need your promise on a matter.”
Tears pooled in her gaze, but they did not spill over. “What is it?”
“If there are any consequences to yesterday…you will inform me immediately.”
Her lips parted and fear, stark and vivid, glittered in her eyes. “Consequences,” she whispered. “Do you mean a…a child?”
His gaze dipped to her stomach and lingered there for an inordinate amount of time. “Yes,” he grumbled. He had lost his head and hadn’t thought about protecting her until after they had finished making love. “A child.”
She rested a hand protectively across her middle. “And if there are?”
“Then we will marry and damn the scandal.”
Pain darkened her eyes, and she stared at him. “I…I see.”
When she said no more, he sketched another bow and walked away, confident she should reach out to him if needed. He wished his father and new mother well, before calling for his horse and made his way from the swell of happiness behind him.
Graham rode away, hating the piercing pain that flamed through him. How it had all shot to hell so quickly, his muddled brain still had to figure out. It is for the best, he tried to tell himself. Except he felt as if he were riding away from the best thing that ever happened to him, instead of hurtling toward Callisto with his heart and arms wide open.
Chapter 12
Christmas day
It was mid-afternoon, and the day was filled with laughter, and a sense of hope and expectation blanketed the air. Over the night, there had been snow, and a pristine white blanketed the grass and dotted the trees and shrubs of the estate. It was such a beautiful scene that Callie’s heart was saddened she could not share it with Graham. It had been all she could do to attend the Parish Church the night before for midnight mass with her family, she had gone through the motions although it had taken every bit of determination she had. Now where she stood on the path beside the lake, Callie fancied she could smell the sumptuous feast the servants were busy and joyfully preparing in the kitchens, although she was not looking forward to another meal pretending to be happy so she did not wear her heart on her sleeve.
A flake caressed her cheek, she glanced to the sky which had darkened even further, the chill in the air had her hugging her coat closer. Despite the festivities Callie was bereft of joy. Graham had departed Holliwell Manor over a week ago now, and to Callie’s enduring distress each night, she cried herself to sleep. She hadn’t realized the consequences attached to her reckless bid to taste passion, and worse the viscount seemed only willing to marry her if she was with child. The wintry weather reflected the desolation in her heart, everything around her mirrored the merry season but she was so miserable and alone.
Though she desired him with every breath in her body, she did not want him in that manner, where he would be forced to do the honorable thing for the sake of her reputation and their child. Once again, her breath hitched and a deep yearning scythed through her chest. A child…a husband…a family of her own.
How badly she wanted it all! But that other longing to marry a man whom she loved and one who adored her just as ardently would not be a part of that bargain. How cold and indifferent Graham had appeared, and she could only blame herself for being silly to have such expectations in her heart.
They did not know each other! Perhaps the passion they had shared had been an everyday occurrence for him. And he did not appreciate the laughter they had enjoyed, for he had just been toying with her affections to pass the time. Could it be the tender way he had looked at her was in her imagination or a cynical act to allow him to bed her. Maybe she had irrevocably lost all sense of herself when she gifted him her body. And she had imagined the hunger in his eyes when he had stared at her stomach as if picturing she was already with child.
But she was not. She swallowed. Her menses had arrived yesterday, and she had cried even more. For deep inside, she had been willing to marry him with their child, madly tying them together, and then she had vowed to make him fall in love with her. It wouldn’t matter how or why they married, only that she would ensure their happiness.
Only now…she had no reason to write to him, and he had none to visit her.
She raised trembling fingers to her lips, hating that her throat burned with tears. Callie didn’t think she would ever recover from the storm of the last few days over the years to come. He had captured her heart, and when he had left, he took it with him.
“I want it back,” she cried in a sharp sob. “If I do not have yours, you cannot have mine!” I’ll storm his estate and demand it back, she fumed. Yes, that is what she would do. Travel to his estate before he could return to town and demand a straightforward explanation of his affections for her. It could not be that the day in the cottage had been meaningless, she refused to accept that it was all lies. With that new resolve in her heart, she felt a little lighter even if the painful ache still lingered.
“Callie?”
She whirled around to see her mother approaching her, looking radiant and contented.
“Mama,” she said with a wobbly smile. “Happy Christmas to you.”
“The same to you, my dear,” she said with a bright smile.
Her eyes searched Callie’s face. “Callie, I cannot help but notice how morose you’ve been. I fretted over it, but then Robert confided in me just now of what the potential problem might be.”
Callie frowned, she had believed that she had hidden her feelings so well. What did the earl know of her heartache? “Mama—”
“He told me of Graham asking to court you, and of the argument which followed. Is it that you were also open to your bro…to the viscount’s courtship?”
