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He blinks and grins. “Sorry, tits and lesbian in the same conversation. I knew it was too good to be true.”
I laugh. “You were mentally ordering bigger boxes for a three-way. Admit it.”
Sean shakes his head and steps toward me. “No three-ways. Ever. Not my thing. No women in this tub. The truth is that Amanda didn’t like being in the mansion. She thought my mother had cameras everywhere.”
“She probably does. Connie’s a creeper.” I glance around, looking for little black orbs with hidden cameras.
“There aren’t any, not unless I installed them.” Sean smiles wickedly and tugs at my shirt. “This is in the way.”
I stop him from taking it off. “No, no. Wait a second. This was the ex-lover talk. I had one, that I never actually had sex with, and then didn’t date again. The humiliation from something like that doesn’t disappear in a day or two. Then I had to watch out for myself and getting knocked up wasn’t something that I could deal with. That explains my incredibly low dating record. But you, there were others besides Amanda. Who was your first?” This is a question I’ve been dying to ask. Sean’s face flushes which shocks me. “Oh God, you’re blushing. Please tell me that you didn’t nail your cousin?”
Sean’s jaw drops, shocked. “No! Why would you even say that? Do you see this?” He points to his perfectly defined abs and smooth skin. “I had to turn down women all the time.” He reaches past me and turns on the water, letting the tub fill. When he straightens, he wraps his arms around my waist and tugs me to him. “My first was in high school.”
“Uber private prep boy nails socialite's daughter to the wall?”
Sean runs a hand through his hair, pushing it out of his eyes. “Something like that. Anyway, I knew guys had conquests—they’d talk about getting into some girl’s panties, nail her, and then choose a new target. I was a little naïve and didn’t realize that women did it, too.” He’s still smiling, but it’s sad, like he wishes the story were different.
“Oh my God. She notched you on her belt and walked away?”
He corrects, “She made love to me and walked away, then quickly told all of her friends at school all the details, like how big it is, how long I lasted, lots of things about length, size, and stamina. All things that a high school boy might find horrifying.”
I laugh a little because it’s terrible. “So that’s why you fuck? No lovemaking?”
“Fucking is intense, but I can keep my guard up.”
Okay, affirmative then. “What about your wife? Did you let her in, or should I not ask things like that?” Crap. I shouldn’t have asked. I feel horrible, but his lips part as he starts to answer me. I am too shocked to stop him.
His face becomes pale and those dark lashes lower. “If I did lower my guard, it wasn’t often. That’s why I couldn’t tell. That’s why—”
Stepping forward, I press my finger to his lips. “I shouldn’t have asked.”
He takes my hand and kisses the back gently, closing his eyes and feeling my skin against his cheek. “We both have ghosts, past lives. They’ll come out periodically. They can present themselves as shadows or banshees. If we know about each other, we'll be better prepared to deal with them.”
“I agree. Just don’t promise to take me to prom and then not show up.” I smile at him and pull Sean into my arms. “And for the record, I like fucking you. Making love sounds weird.”
He pulls away and shakes his head. He arches a brow at me. “You’re not getting out of it, Miss Smith. Anything and everything is mine and I’m not in a fucking kind of mood right now. Maybe later, but not now.”
My lips part as my skin covers in goose bumps, and I take a step back. My heel hits the edge of the tub and I stumble. Sean catches me just as I fall into the water, which pulls him in and makes him land on top of me.
I start laughing. The waterwall is pouring over my hair and twigs are floating in the tub. Sean starts laughing with me. “This should be a picture on the urban dictionary page for ‘smooth move.’ I have half a forest in my frickin’ hair! Why didn’t you say anything?”
Sean kicks his shoes off and they splatter next to the tub. He plucks a stick from the water and smiles. “You looked adorable, like a little forest elf that got bitch-slapped by a tree.”
I shove his chest and splash some of the tub water at him. Sean’s laughter is light like mine, and it’s nice to hear him in such a good mood. The tone is so rich and carefree, so unburdened from the things that I usually hear from him.
The tub is big enough for both of us to stand, and so we do, splashing each other like children. Water goes flying everywhere, hitting Sean in the face and soaking his jeans. Eventually, he steps towards me and wraps me in his arms. His mouth comes down on mine, slowly, warm and welcome. The embrace is so tender for him, so unlike him, that I wonder what he's going to do next.
CHAPTER 7
I’m used to the way Sean moves, fast and hard, the way he controls me. This time though, that’s not the man that’s with me. Instead, I have a different version of Sean. He’s slow and seeking, tracing the lines of my mouth with his tongue while cupping my cheeks with his hands. He turns me so that the waterfall is over both of us, warming us. The movements he makes aren’t controlling. They're vulnerable and sweet.
I reach for his buckle, pulling the wet leather through the belt loops of his jeans. I toss it aside. There’s water everywhere, but he doesn’t care. Sean’s gaze fixes on me, watching me, wondering what I’m going to do next. Reaching out for his hands, I take them and put them on the hem of my shirt, inviting him to finish what he started. Sean takes the damp fabric in his hands and slowly slides it up over my head and tosses it to the floor.
Those sky-blue eyes wander over my slick curves before returning to my face. I expect him to go for my bra and throw it off, guessing that he’ll be harsh and forceful, the way he usually is—but not this time.
Instead, Sean takes the tip of his finger, and barely touching my skin, chases the water as it flows down from my neck to my shoulder and finally to my breast. The pads of his fingers barely touch my skin. The effect is a symphony of sensations. I gasp and look up at him. Sean pushes my wet hair out of my face, and cups my chin, holding my gaze on his.
“You really should not have come.” This time when Sean says the words, I hear the real meaning and it scares me to death.
CHAPTER 8
The intensity of Sean’s gaze makes me shiver. He mistakes the motion as coldness and steps out of the tub to grab a towel. He returns quickly and wraps it around me. “Come here for a few minutes, let me run you the type of bath that I was planning on giving you.”
My stomach swirls as Sean takes my hand and helps me step over the side of the tub. He sits me down on a cedar bench next to the shower. Sean hands me a fluffy white towel that I wrap around my body.
Now I’m shivering because I’m cold. Before Sean goes back to clean up the mess he does something unexpected. Reaching up under the towel, he finds my waistline and gently removes my pants and my panties. He doesn’t look at them, he doesn’t put my intimates to his nose and inhale. Instead, he just takes the damp clothing and puts it down a laundry chute. Before he walks away he gives me a kiss on the cheek and smiles. “I’ll warm you up fast. Just give me a minute.”
“Sean?” I’m not sure what he’s doing or what he wants from me. The way he’s acting is unnerving.
He was walking away, but when I call his name he stops and turns. I don’t know what to say, so I sit there with my mouth hanging open. I can tell him the truth, I can tell him that I’m scared, that this is too close to what I want—to what I’ve always wanted—and that if he’s pretending now, it’ll kill me. The words never come to my mouth but they must be in my eyes, because he seems to know.
“I won’t hurt you, Avery. Not again. I know you have no reason to trust me, and I know too much has happened between us, but I promise you, this is me. The guy they kept thinking wasn’t there, the one that I denied
, but this is who I am.” He shrugs like it’s nothing, but at that moment I can tell he is as afraid as I am.
Pressing my lips together, I say, “Well, just so you know, you are nothing to shrug at. And I understand why you kept him hidden. We both needed two things to survive, things that were unbecoming.”
Sean doesn’t know how to respond—there’s a look of relief on his face and a half smile. It molds his lips into an adorable expression. I want to jump up and kiss him. It’s scary, but I think I’m finally getting to see the side of Sean that I know is there, revealed to me full force. Sean’s finally stopped hiding who he is, at least in front of me. The monsters have been left in the shadows and I finally have him, all of him.
