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“I love watching the sunrise with you.”
I make a sound of disagreement in the back of my throat. “You prefer the twilight hours more. You’re a creature of darkness, Sean Ferro.”
“And, yet, I’m drawn to the shore at dawn. Tell me why.” His voice is a whisper, not a command. He’s curious about this ritual, and asks daily, but I’ve yet to tell him. His arm is draped across my shoulder, and he pulls me tighter against his body. “What do you think about when you sit here?”
I try to think of nothing, but dread fills me. I come here to let the water wash my apprehension away. The waves are like tears that I haven’t cried. They offer absolution that I can’t seem to find on my own. While I know the answer to his question, my mind drifts to what’s to come, causing my heart to beat faster.
I want to bargain with him. Plead for a few more weeks, a few more days. The plane will return tonight and we go back home to Manhattan. But I don’t beg. I know it’s impossible.
I suck in a deep breath of morning air and let it fill me. Sean’s scent mixes with it, making me smile. “I imagine I’m sitting at the edge of the world, waiting to greet the sun. If the sun rises again, so can I.”
The rawness of the statement makes him hold me tighter. He kisses my temple and presses his face to my cheek. “I have never met anyone with your strength, ferocity, or determination. You’re a force of nature, as daunting at the dawn—and as bright.” Sean’s breath is warm against my cheek. He catches a stray curl, whipped by the wind and tucks it behind my ear before continuing.
“You pulled me from the darkness without being devoured by it,” Sean confesses, his voice deep, low, and filled with awe. “You have enough misery that it could consume you, but it hasn’t. It won’t. Because of who you are at your core. You’re a fighter, Avery. Surviving isn’t enough for you. You need sunlight and good things.”
My response is flat, automatic. The thoughts tumble from my lips before I can stop them. “I don’t deserve good things. I’m a horrible person. I’ve done…” my voice catches in my throat as my body stiffens in his arms. I can’t say it out loud. Admitting it to him is like reliving the whole mess all over again. I won’t do it.
“Avery, you deserve good things.” His head lifts from mine and I know he’s looking out to the horizon, to the spot where sea meets sky and the two blur together. When he speaks again, he’s staring straight ahead. Matter of factly, he confesses, “You make me want to be like you.”
I can’t help it. A smile breaks across my lips and I pull back as I catch his eye. Tugging at the frizzed ends of my long ponytail, now blown over my shoulder. I glance up from under my lashes, asking shyly, “Really? I’m a train wreck most of the time. Why would you want that?”
That dimple on his cheek reveals itself as his smile deepens. The look softens the hard planes of his chiseled face, erasing the worry that’s been etched around his mouth, replacing it with crinkles at the edges of his eyes. “Because you’re the girl who ran into the fire to rummage through the broken pieces, trying to save everyone. You’re not the mangled train. You’re not torqued metal and shattered glass.”
A laugh escapes me before I can stop it. The way he looks at me, as if I hold such promise, makes me uneasy. I look out at the ocean, the sand, and bounce between objects until I feel his fingers on my chin. Sean rests a finger there, turning my face back toward him.
Blue eyes piercing my soul, he explains, “You didn’t cause the wreck. You’re a first responder, the guy who runs in, not thinking of himself. The one who came to help everyone else. You’re a hero, Avery. You’re my hero.”
A sound that’s cross between a snort and shock croaks from my throat. “I’m no hero. I’m a murd— ” He cuts me off, not letting me say it.
He takes my shoulders, forcing me to meet his gaze. “You wanted the truth, Avery. That’s the truth. You saved me. You gave me another chance at happiness and I fully intend to take it.” The intensity of his gaze makes me shift in the sand.
I believe him, but there’s still that hollow pit inside of me. The facts don’t change. The events, the cruelty, that flared inside of me the night of my brother’s death, it’s still there. Thinking about it turns my stomach, twisting it to the point of pain. Pressing my lips together, I try to hear him out. I want to let his words trump the guilt that’s ravaging me.
I lower my lashes to break away from those sapphire eyes, but he doesn’t release me. Instead, he reaches up with both hands and rests his palms on my skin, cupping my cheeks. He leans in slowly and brushes his lower lip to mine. Hesitant, waiting to see if I pull away, argue, or bolt. The way he holds me, as if I’m everything to him, makes me believe. Despite all the anguish, he reaches me. The shadows are temporarily vanquished as I press my mouth to his. The warmth of his breath and the taste of his lips makes me want more. My lips part as I tangle my fingers in his dark hair, pulling him closer. The kiss is slow and seductive.
When he pulls away, he’s still watching me, trying to hold my gaze. Those beautiful lips are in a smooth line, his eyes wide, waiting, watching me. In that moment, I can read his thoughts—feel his concerns. Sean is afraid of losing me, that I’ll slip away into the dark abyss and never return. That reality would be a waking nightmare for him, to live like that, forever. Knowing I’ve mentally vacated and there’s nothing he can do to pull me back. It’s all there. In the way he holds his head tipped slightly to the side, the worry pinched between his brows. The depths of his eyes that confess he lived in those dark places. The way his gaze silently pleads with me.
My stomach is swirling with butterflies and something else—something I can’t face. Not yet. “I love you.”
He grins at that. “I love you too.” Sean stands, brushes the sand off his shorts, and offers me his hand. “How about an early morning swim?”
My eyebrows fly up my face into my hairline in shock. “Seriously? You hate the water in the morning. You said it makes you sticky all day.” Sean tends to swim at night right before he showers.
A wicked grin slips across his face. “I don’t think you understand. There’s a certain well-read romance book with the pages stuck together.” I feel my cheeks flame red. “Someone has a thing for water, sand, and sunshine.”
CHAPTER 3
Sean reaches around my back and pulls the bikini string, untying the bow. The top loosens, but it doesn’t fall. There’s still another bow at my neck, tied tight. The patches of fabric hang, covering me like flowery twin flags. I don’t move to hold it in place. I just watch him, surprised.
We’ve only done this at night when everyone is gone. After Constance left, Sean flew in the butler and housekeeper from his California estate to keep things neat and tidy. Okay, that’s an understatement. Those two are neat freaks, more O.C.D. than a control freak’s wet dream, and they’re always around during daylight hours.
Add in beachball baby belly and sex wasn’t really on the menu. Not today. My moods have been all over the place. Poor Sean. One second I’m in tears and the next I’m wishing there was a Tantra chair in our room. Sean doesn’t shy away from my extremes. He rarely lets me sit alone. It’s as if he can tell my pensiveness turns somber and then swoops in before the tide changes, and pulls my mind into darker waters.
I grin at him as a breeze lifts the flaps of fabric, revealing underboob—which I had no idea was sexy until Sean went nuts one day. My old bikini tops are small thanks to baby hormones and I have muffin top, scone sideboobs, and cupcake underboobs. Yeah, all at the same time. Curvy pale skin was poking out everywhere that afternoon, and all I could think about were chocolate chip muffins. I was accosted on my way to the kitchen, and thoroughly pleasured. Then we spent the
next few hours baking and munching on muffins.
Sex and chocolate. A pregnant woman’s fantasy.
I grin at him, suggesting, “There are so many things that need to happen today. Aren’t Jules and Marko already awake?” It was different before they arrived. The house was empty and the kitchen exploded with used muffin tins.
Sean’s dark lashes lower as a finger lifts and slowly traces the outer line of breast to the side of the scrap of fabric. “They’re not out here.”
Giggling, I swat him away. “They can see us.”
A devilish smirk crosses his face. “Maybe we’ll be done by then.”
A dark brow creeps up my face and I laugh. “Really? A quickie in the sand? How romantic.” The corner of my lips creep up on one side and I fold my arms across my chest, causing an ample swell in ‘the girls’ neck of the woods. Damn, my boobs are huge.
“Wow.” Sean’s voice is near reverent and I realize we’re both staring at my boobs.
I tip my head to the side and shift my arms, making my enormous breasts swell further. For a girl that’s been less than ample for her whole life, this is fun. I alternate arms, squeezing my elbows, making the girls dance and jiggle. “Can they stay like this? This is kinda fun. I’ve been assuming they’ll shrink.” My face blanches and I lift my face, slowly meeting Sean’s eyes. “What if they deflate? My God, is that what happens?” My smile is gone and my hands drop to my sides.
Sean laughs. It’s a deep jovial sound. He takes me in his arms, hugging me tight. “They’re not balloons, Avery. No matter how many times I’ve blown you.”
I honk a laugh and shove him away, grinning like a lovestruck fool. Which I am. Completely. “What time are we supposed to leave?”
Sean shrugs. “Take off is whenever we get to the airport.” He watches me, those blue eyes darkening with lust. Long lashes lower and fan against his tanned skin as he drinks me in, round belly, balloon boobs, and all.
