My gems glimmered as I turned my head. I'd come to ignore the jewels that embellished my swollen cheek. They’d become a piece of me, even though I cursed the goddess who granted me them. If she hadn't, I would not be here right now, full of so much sorrow that I couldn't breathe.
A soft knock hit the door of my bedchambers. I shuffled out of the washroom to open it, praying it wasn't the one person I couldn't stand to see right now.
Pia’s eyes widened when she saw me. She crept into my room, shutting the door quietly behind her. “Who do I have to kill?” Her eyebrows furrowed in anger.
“Take a guess.” I turned from her and settled myself in the armchair by my window.
“Oh. Well, I can’t killhim, but I can fuck him up. What did he do?”
My legs dangled over one side of the chair, my head resting on the other. “I don't want to talk about it.” I really didn't want to rehash everything right now. My heart couldn't handle it.
“Too bad,” she countered, sitting on my bed and staring at me until I broke.
“I told him how I feel.” I sighed. “Then we kissed…Well, it was pretty touchy to just be considered a kiss, but I’ll spare you the details.”
She clapped her hands giddily. “I want the details.”
“No,” I said flatly as Pia fought a smile that would soon vanish.
“He said he wanted me the same way I wanted him.” I paused to scoff. “But then I told him how Ireallyfeel and he freaked out, saying that he can't have me. That he won't have me. He basically disregarded everything he said.”
I closed my eyes to keep the tears locked in. “He told me this would happen. He said that he would hurt me, but I didn't listen. I didn't listen because it didn't matter. I wanted whatever he could give me, even if it was hardly anything at all.” I sniffled, wiping my nose with the back of my hand. “Well it turns out that itdoesactually matter.”
The barrier of my eyelids was not strong enough to keep my tears from breaking free, and a few slipped past by mistake. I blinked them away, opening my eyes to meet Pia’s fixated stare. “I don't know what I expected. I knew this could happen, so I shouldn't be so hurt.”
“I'll talk to him,” Pia chimed in, her tone so blank that I couldn't tell what she was thinking.
“Don't bother,” I rejected her offer.
“I'm not trying to defend my cousin being an ass, but hear me out.” She moved to sit in the chair at my desk, closer to me. “Seb isnevergoing to feel worthy of love. He truly believes that he doesn't deserve it.”
Sawyer had hinted at the same thing.
She continued, “I know. It seems ridiculous to us because we don't understand it. And be thankful that you don't.”
A tiny bit of my anger was replaced by sadness. “Everyone deserves to be loved.”
She ground her jaw. “I know.”
“Well, I'm not going to spend my life waiting around forhim to love me back.” I tried to convince myself of the lie, knowing damn well I would wait for him until the oceans dried up.
Pia’s eyes bulged and my hand hit my mouth when I realized what I said. Is that why this hurt so much—because I was in love with him?
“I didn't mean to say that,” I denied the words as if they didn't just come pouring out of me in pure admission. “You can't be in love with someone you've only known for months, that's absurd.”
The corners of Pia’s lips curved up gently. “Sure you can. Some souls are simply designed to love one another. Like the stars are destined to love the heavens.”
Though I wanted to believe her, I was still too angry at Sebastian to accept that what she said could be true.
“How was the rest of your night?” I changed the subject.
Pia went off about how drunk Kohen was when she got him back to his room. I lost focus shortly into the conversation. My mind just kept wandering back to Sebastian.
I wouldn't pine for him. I wanted him to let me love him, but he would have to decide that for himself. Until then, I’d focus on my studies and decoding the prophecy while I pretended that I’d never met Sebastian Hawthorne.
Chapter
Twenty-Six
