Page 129 of Temporary Vows

And she wanted me. Nothing was clearer than that.

After I took her again in the bridal boutique, I managed to drive us back home. But my thoughts stayed locked on one thing—how I was going to get back inside her.

We barely made it into the house before I had her pressed against the wall.

Then we came in here. It was the closest bedroom. Mine is on the other side of the house—too far to satisfy what I wanted.

Still, I would’ve preferred her in my bed. Tangled in my sheets. Not in hers.

The fact that I’m even thinking she should always be in my bed is a problem.

I lost control today. Big time.

Now look at me, wide awake before sunrise, smoking in the dark.

Everything I did today was … unbecoming of me.

Salvatore told me to indulge a little, but I did it a lot.

And damn, it felt fucking good.

Finally, I took care of that thousand-year-old itch. I indulged on the girl who was always off-limits to me.

But now I’m faced with the reality of what we’re supposed to be—a business contract.

Not real, yet we are.

This is a problem I was never supposed to have.

Everyone knows me for control, for the lengths I go to maintain it. So this… this state of mindless need…

It doesn’t sit well with me.

I wasn’t supposed to sleep with my wife on our wedding night and enjoy it.

Fuck, I more than enjoyed it.

I craved it.

I cravedher.

I wasn’t supposed to end up here, in her bedroom, watching her sleep, waiting for her to wake so I can have her all over again.

I enjoyed the release of taking her, but now the question of what comes next sits in my chest like a boulder, dragging me under.

What the hell am I going to do now that I’ve crossed that line?

I can’t pretend this didn’t happen. That it was just part of the arrangement.

The meaningless sex I thought we’d have would’ve been easier.

Safer.

But there was nothing meaningless about tonight.

I know that and I know myself.

Even if I could go back, she’d never forgive me.