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Raven
Things are starting to settle down at home. I don’t feel as if I’m being pulled in a hundred different directions. Lexa and I grow closer every day. I’m—albeit reluctantly—developing a friendship with Willa. Gracie has become a part of my everyday life.
Bash is wrapping himself tighter around my heart. I sleep in his arms every night, make love with him every night. Make love, not have sex or fuck. He makes slow, passionate love to me every night, and at times I find that I’m moved to tears because it’s so perfect.
Something isn’t perfect though.
I should have known something was wrong and realized sooner that she’s not in a good place. Swallowing hard, I crouch down in front of the big dog that’s sitting outside of my front door.
“Her note said to bring him here,” Marcie Bolton, Felicity’s mother tells me as she sits the huge bag of dog food down beside the scary looking dog. “She said that you would take better care of him than I would.”
I lift my hand and scratch the top of Toby’s head. The bullmastiff whines in pleasure, his big tongue coming out to lick my chin. I give him a small, sad smile. Jet had given Felicity the dog two years ago for her birthday when he was just a puppy. Between the two of us, Felicity and I have trained him well. He’s huge and terrifying. His dark, rich red coat gleams with health, his head broad and his face all wrinkled. Toby weighs at least a hundred and thirty pounds. He’s also the gentlest dog I have ever known.
Swallowing hard around the lump in my throat, I stand. “I’ll take him.” I whisper.
“I don’t know where she went …” Marcie breaks off, blowing cigarette smoke away from me because she knows I’ll punch her in the mouth if she blows it at me. “Her letter just said that she needed some time … away.”
I nod, blinking back tears that I don’t want anyone to see. “She hasn’t been the same since Jet went to jail.”
“It was before that, Raven. Losing the baby messed with her.”
The world around me freezes. “Baby?” I whisper.
Marcie nodded. “Westcliffe’s beating made her miscarry. She didn’t tell you?”
I don’t answer, can’t even if my life depended on it. Felicity had lost her baby. Was it Jet’s? Oh dear lord! Why didn’t she tell me?
Lexa’s small hands touch my bare leg, making me jerk in surprise. “A puppy! Hi, puppy.” She giggles when Toby licks her face, leaving a trail of drool over her beautiful face.
Clearing my throat, I pick Lexa up. “This is Toby. He’s going to stay with us for a …while.”
“Raven, who is it?” Bash walks toward us with his hair still tangled from our crazy night of lovemaking and a pair of sweatpants on. I woke up early this morning to start breakfast but had been interrupted by the ringing of the front door bell. When he sees Marcie standing on the other side of the door his eyes narrow. “What’s going on?”
My chin trembles and his arms wrap around me instantly. The feel of his warm, strong arms around me breaks the dam within me and I’m powerless to keep the sob inside a second longer. “Flick ran away.”
Felicity
San Quinton is California’s oldest prison. It’s the only prison that holds male prisoners on Death Row. It’s set on four hundred and thirty-two acres of waterfront real estate overlooking the north side of San Francisco Bay and is where Jet Hannigan is to spend his prison sentence.
I probably shouldn’t have come. He doesn’t want to see me and actually called me twice to tell me that I’m not allowed to come see him. It doesn’t matter that he doesn’t want to see me. I need to see him. Once. Only one time before I leave everything behind.
For weeks now I’ve been planning on leaving, ever since I got the letter that offered me the job that I applied for back in January. I hadn’t been expecting to get the job and didn’t even know if I really wanted it until very recently. A background check was done and I was sure that would have been the end of the job altogether. No one wants someone like me—a girl that’s grown up in and around a MC around their children. But the offer’s been made with a contract that includes great benefits and crazy-good money.
I realize that I need this new start. I need to get away from everything that reminds me of what I’ve lost and what I’ll never have—what I never really had to begin with. My heart breaks more and more every day. My soul is withering away.
My heart, my soul won’t let me leave without seeing him one last time though.
You have to make an appointment to see an inmate at San Quintin. I made mine at the very last minute and am lucky to have gotten an appointment at all. Now I sit in the receiving room, anxious to get this over with so I can move on with my life. I’m terrified too. Terrified that I won’t be able to tell him goodbye …
“I told you not to come.”
I refuse to raise my head immediately at the sound of that strong, male voice. Instead I gather my courage and slowly lift my eyes to find him taking the seat across the table from me. Dammit, why does my heart have to skip a beat every time I see him?
His dirty blond hair is longer. I ache to run my fingers through it. He has a few days’ worth of beard on his face and his jade green eyes are dark with anger, and even though I’m sure I’m seeing only what I want to see, what I need. He’s gotten leaner but his muscles are more defined. Jet looks dangerous, and stupid me I’ve always been a sucker for that. I ache to touch him as I once thought I had the right to touch him. My body throbs with a need that will never be satisfied by him ever again.
“I won’t stay long,” I assure him, proud of myself for not showing him how torn up I am inside. I feel as if I’m cracking, ready to shatter from the inside out. “I just wanted to tell you goodbye.”
Jet’s entire body jerks. “What do you mean?” He growls. “I’m getting out of here in three months, Flick. Three months and I will be home, so don’t come in here and start spouting melodrama. That’s your mom’s MO, not yours.”
