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I clench my hands together under the table so he won’t see how they tremble. I’m neve
r going to let him see how he affects me again. “I won’t be in Creswell Springs when you get out. I’m leaving and I don’t plan on going back.” I lift a shoulder in a half shrug, like it doesn’t matter to me, like I’m not ripping myself apart by leaving everything I love behind. “I figured I owed you a face-to-face farewell though.”
His hands are linked together with handcuffs and a length of chain. They make a loud echoing noise throughout the room as he pounds his fists on the table. “No. I won’t let you go. You can’t fucking leave.”
“Why would you even want to stop me?” I demand, confused by his vehement reaction. “We had a short and crazy affair. It meant nothing to you. I meant nothing to you. If anything, I would have thought you would be happy to see me leave, Jet. Now you can go back to the way things were before I stupidly told you I loved you.”
“I don’t want things to go back to the way they were!” he yelled, looking wild. The guard that was standing five feet behind him took a step forward. “I don’t want the fucking club or anything else. I just want you to be waiting when I get home. So go home, Flick!”
“I can’t. I won’t.” I stand, ready to go before I break down and beg him to love me. “I have to move on with my life, and I can’t do that in Creswell Springs. I can’t do that anywhere near you. I’ve tried to stop loving you, and I’ve tried to hate you. I can’t do either. I only have two options left. Kill myself to get away from all of this pain … or leave it all behind.”
“Flick!” He jumps to his feet, making the guard behind him take another cautious step closer. “Don’t go. Don’t do this to me.”
“Bye, Jet,” I murmur. With one last look I take all of him in. One last look and I’ll go. Biting the inside of my cheek to keep from saying another word, I turn away.
“FLICK!” he roared my name behind me.
I don’t glance back.
--
The flight from San Francisco to LA isn’t very long. It’s the first time I’ve ever set foot on a plane. I’m terrified of heights, so it was far too long for my comfort. I could have driven the distance in several hours, but I have my reasons for not taking my Jeep.
I had to sell the Jeep to pay for my plane ticket. Plus I know that the club can track me through the Jeep. They have connections in every branch of law enforcement. I’ve cut up my credit cards, drained my bank account, and tossed my cell phone. I leave everything they can use to trace my location behind.
Once I get my two pieces of luggage, full of the only things I now own, I grab a cab and tell the driver the address. When I’d faxed the signed contract back to my new employer I told her I’d be arriving today. When she suggested she send a car for me, I declined, needing the extra time to myself to let go of everything I just walked away from.
I’m not surprised by the gate into the community or the big beefy guard that stops the cab driver as he pulls to a stop. I roll down my window and give the man my name. After a moment of consulting his clipboard, he nods and the gates open. I smile at the guard as the cab goes through. He reminds me of Uncle Jack in a way.
It takes ten more minutes before the driver stops in a driveway behind two large, black SUVs and one smaller red sports car. The driver opens the door for me before moving to the back of the cab to unload my luggage. I step out, my legs shaking. I’m about to walk into a new world. One that’s foreign, but one that I hope will be beautiful and healing for me.
Biting the inside of my cheek for what has to be the thousandth time, I comb my fingers through my freshly cut hair. I went straight from San Quintin to the closest salon. If I’m going to let everything go and move forward, I want to do so as a completely different person. My hair is short, spiky, and a vibrant cherry red. I love the new look, but I wonder if Raven would have too?
The cab driver gives me a small, friendly smile as I come around the back. I hand him the money I owe him along with a tip. “Thanks,” I mutter, taking hold of the two rolling cases.
I finally look at the house I’m going to call home for the close foreseeable future. I have never imagined living in a beach house in Malibu before, have never thought that I’d be using my Early Childhood degree on anything more than teaching kindergarten.
Now here I am about to start my first day as a nanny.
Slowly, I walk toward the front door. I press the doorbell and wait. My heart is racing as I suddenly wonder if I’m doing the right thing. I’ve left everything—everything—behind. The people that I love are probably frantic looking for me.
I swallow my anxiety. It’s okay. I still have time. The cab driver is only just now turning around. I turn, ready to wave him down. I’m going to go home. I want to go home.
No! No, I’m not going to go home. There’s nothing for me back there, nothing but a broken, empty shell of the girl I’d once been.
Thankfully the door opens and my anxiety quiets. I lift my eyes to find a man with messy hair and startling ice blue eyes staring down at me with a grin on his too sexy face. A Demon. The husband of my new boss. “Hi. I guess you’re the nanny Em hired.” He steps back welcoming me inside. “I’m Nik.”
