What they’d shared tonight was better than he’d dreamed it would be, yet she’d asked if she had done something wrong. How she made him feel was the farthest thing from wrong. He would’ve gladly kept his mouth on hers until sunrise, had his warring thoughts not caused him to pull away from her. It angered him that she didn’t have a clue how extraordinary she was. She wished she could see herself the way he saw her.
They were still on the freeway, passing by the Miracle Plaza, when he finally found the right words. “If I explain myself, will you at least try to understand?”
She merely turned her head a fraction to show that she was listening. It was the most he would get—and the most he deserved.
“This whole thing that’s been going on with us… We only met each other because of the cult that’s after the Well, Loren. And because of the job I took to track you down. When this is over—when I find out who is behind this and can make you safe again—you can move on. You’ll no longer be in danger; no one will hunt you anymore. Do you understand me?” He paused. But she only continued to stare out her window in silence.
“As for me,” he continued, “I can never move on. Violence and danger are mylife,Loren. And if you were with me… If you chose to have a life with me, that danger would follow you everywhere. There wouldn’t be a single moment when you wouldn’t have to watch your back. People would view you as a weakness of mine. They would targetyouto get tome.”He paused to draw a deep, shaking breath. “You were almost shot outside of Blackbird the other night. Tyson was afterme,yes, but you almost got hurt. If I hadn’t pulled you out of the way on time, you would’ve died. And your precious life would’ve ended because ofme.”
She still didn’t say anything. Still wouldn’t look at him. They were minutes from the academy; minutes from the moment when she would slam the door in his face.
“You’re into the kind of guys that are in your chick flicks, the guys who court the girl and give her the family life she deserves. I can’t give you that and I’m not going to pretend that I can. I’m sorry.” His voice broke on the last word. “You deserve better than what I have to offer you, Lola. So much better.”
Loren still didn’t say anything until the parking lot came into view. When she spoke at last, her tone was scathing and sarcastic, but he could hear the pain she was feeling beneath. “How very kind of you to think this throughbeforeyou led me on like you did.” She finally looked at him, and he hated himself when he saw the tears gleaming in her beautiful eyes. “I don’t suppose I get any say in this, do I? You’re the one making all the decisions about us, as if whatIwant doesn’t matter—”
“This is yourlife,Loren!” His voice was so loud, she blinked in surprise, the motion sending a single tear sliding down her cheek. “Forgive me for trying to protect you. I will protect you from anything—even from myself.Always.”The truck had slowed to a crawl without Darien having realized he’d done it. He knew that as soon as he reached those gates, he might never see her again.
She didn’t say anything as she glared at her painted toenails. The truck continued to inch horribly closer to those gates. He had half a mind to stop it entirely, but he had a feeling she would get out as soon as he did, no matter how far away from the gates she might be.
Not caring to find out if that were true, he pulled right up to them, and she didn’t say anything as she slung the strap of her bag over her shoulder and unlocked the door.
“Loren, I’m sorry.” He felt like he was choking. “Maybe we should discuss this further.”
But her seatbelt was already off. She leapt from the cab and slammed the door in his face.
Darien stared after her as she made her way through the gates.
Unable to contain the rage and hatred he felt for himself, he struck the steering wheel three times, the force of each blow nearly cracking the molding. The breaths he drew in through his nose were fierce, his jaw clenched so tight it felt like his teeth would crumble to dust. The Sight took over his mind as a Surge swept in, instantly turning the blood in his veins to acid.
This night had gone so horribly wrong.
Loren didn’t turn around once, nor did she slow.
He peeled out of the parking lot, hating himself for this night.
Hating himself for everything.
42
Darien stood in the Pit, the bodies of five demons littering the sand at his feet. His bare upper body was caked with black blood. Gore was jammed up under his nails, and his mouth held the rancid taste of demon skin from when he’d taken a chunk out of a caroeldua’s neck. Limbs and entrails and gods-knew-what-else covered every inch of the enclosure.
This was a performance to end all performances, and he was only getting started. The crowd had never cheered so loud, not in the eight years he’d fought in this ring.
And even though he’d gutted and ripped apart five demons, he still hadn’t had enough.
He stalked up to the bouncers that were standing on the other side of the latticed grille and said, “I need another one.”
“We’re running out of demons,” the eldest replied, his face glistening with sweat. “We can’t do this all night.”
“Then bring me someone else!”Darien snarled. “A different opponent.”
“No one wants to fight you,” the other bouncer said. When Darien swung his head around to look at him, the bouncer stammered, “They know it would be suicide.”
“Then bring me another demon,” he barked. “You can always catch more.”
“We can’t,” he gritted out, his voice wobbling and pathetic.
Darien had to restrain himself from grabbing the pricks by their throats and hauling their asses into the ring. It would be so easy to make them bleed; to make thembeg.His wrapped hands curled into fists at his sides as he spun around to face the crowd.
