“You’re not a bad person. The fact that you’re upset you can’t bond with him is proof that you do care,” Kallie argued. “I’m not letting you throw this away without thinking it through, because this could turn into something you really want. I can’t let my best friend live a life of regret.”
“None of us are long for this world, anyway. It’d be better to give this baby up now, and give him a chance of getting somewhere safe, instead of trying to hold on to him until the Warden finally has a big enough tantrum he breaks the shield down.”
That was my real worry— that we wouldn’t get Casey away from the city in time, and I’d take too long to make up my mind, because if I did, I’d be putting him in danger once the Warden got through. The rest of us couldn’t hide forever, because the Warden would always find us, but if I gave Casey away now, whoever had him could go into hiding and raise him out of sight of the Warden’s eye. He didn’t know Casey existed yet, and he couldn’t.
“Do you really think the Warden is never going to find out about Casey? He’s a naderei. The minute he hears that this baby has seer powers, and that he came from you, he’s going to scour the earth searching for him,” Kallie demanded.
Yeah, that was another thing I blamed myself for. I couldn’t have made a sick baby and been done with it. I had to make a sick baby that would one day grow up to be extremely valuable, and turn him into a target for evil people to use. I couldn’t forgive myself for that.
Kallie caught the look on my face and read my mind. “You didn’t choose to turn him into a prophet. The gods did.”
“Well, the gods are stupid.” I could strangle them right now if I had them in front of me.
“We have a plan. It’s not a great one, but if it works out, you have a chance to live the life that you want.”
I gave an obnoxious laugh. “Sure! Because the plan you guys came up with isn't completely delusional!”
Kallie had told me that Oberi had the bright idea to find a time vortex to throw the Warden into. I thought it was stupid, and didn’t care much if it worked. It didn’t matter if ww got rid of the Warden, because no matter if it was this world, another world, or no world at all, there wouldn’t be any place for me to fit into it. Let the Warden burn down this reality, and the next.
Though Casey didn’t deserve that. If there was one reason for me to believe that Oberi’s crazy idea was a good one, it was so our baby could grow up in a place that wasn’t totally fucked.
Our baby. That was a lie. We’d made him, but he wasn’t ours. I wasn’t sure who he belonged to… but it certainly wasn’t me.
“This plan is the only chance we’ve got,” Kallie insisted. “I know we can do amazing things. If we can get the group back together, and get our friends to unite as one, we can find a way through this.”
“There’s no more Villain’s Club. I blew that up when I tried to end the world. Our friend group is the one thing that’s in a worse state than my marriage.”
“Because it relied on you and Charlie being in love,” Kallie pointed out. “Our group has always fallen apart whenever you two aren’t getting along. You guys are the glue that keeps everyone together.”
“Why do you care, Kallie?” I groaned.
Kallie crossed her arms. “You never gave up on me and Marcus, so I’m not giving up on you and Charlie. You two shouldn’t be separated.”
“Great, so you’re on his side. I thought you hated him!”
“I don’t hate him. I’m really mad at him. There’s a difference.” Kallie hunched inward. “I was so pissed when everything went down that I could’ve killed him on the spot, but enough time has passed to make me realize that you two shouldn’t be apart. You’re both miserable without each other.”
I wouldn’t admit it. “Our bond is broken, so there’s no point in trying to save our marriage. I can hope for things to change all I want, but that doesn’t mean they will.”
“Me and Marcus didn’t get better until our bond was broken. Maybe this is an opportunity for you guys.”
I scoffed. “An opportunity. Like you wouldn’t be crawling on your knees barking if there was a way you could fix your bond with Marcus.”
“If there was a chance for me and Marcus to restore our bond, I’d take it now, but we needed to break it to get to a point where we could be together,” Kallie insisted. “Losing your bond is terrible, Ava. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever gone through, and I’d do anything to get mine back. But we had to lose that bond so we could come back to each other again. It’s what we needed.”
Kallie shrugged. “And maybe losing your bond is what you guys needed.”
I stayed silent, and Kallie added, “You weren’t exactly in a great place before everything happened. Charlie was getting out of control, and you were being purposefully ignorant so it didn’t put any tension on your relationship. You were so scared to lose him by confronting his behavior you ended up losing him anyway, and he was so scared of being honest with you that when the truth came out, it wrecked both of you. Maybe the breakdown needed to come before the breakthrough. And saving a marriage after it gets to the point you guys are at is no small feat. It takes radical change.”
I didn’t respond, and Kallie said, “Come on. I’m not leaving you out here to be depressed by yourself.”
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“My place.”
Marcus and Kallie had separate apartments before they’d started dating, but after what happened with the Dollmaker, they’d moved in together immediately. Marcus’ art supplies were scattered everywhere, with Kallie’s fae weaponry and sports gear tossed around it. They were a messy couple. I had to roll around the stuff on the floor to avoid breaking it.
I pulled up to the kitchen table. Kallie started distributing brushes, paint tubes, and canvases. “What are we doing?”
