“Move on?” I murmur, more to myself than Raya.
“Yes, Simon. You’ve been living in her shadow since you lost her. Just the idea of her consumes you and turns you into… into this fake-party-guy with a fake smile.” She lowers her voice, “I know this isn’t you. I can see you don’t even like this. You need to let her go so you can start enjoying your life,” she says.
I smile at my sister. A sad smile that doesn’t reach my eyes and feels heavy on my face. “I can’t,” I shrug. And it’s something I didn’t even want to admit to myself. Saying the words to her has just made them more real than ever before.
I can’t let her go.
I can’t stop thinking about her.
Beautiful Selene.
The girl who disappeared five years ago. After six months of absolute bliss with her in my life. Thehappiestmonths of my life… and then one phone call, and never seeing her again.
I’ve exhausted every connection I have and every connection my family has. I have used every favor, every opportunity, everything, and anything I could to try and find her. It’s like she turned into a ghost. She’s gone. I mean, gone fromeverywhere.No records of purchases, travel, rent, or existence in any way.
I don’t understand it. It’s like I dreamed her up and she never really existed.
Maybe that’s why she was so perfect.
“I’m going to head out,” I say to Raya.
“Simon…” She tries to reach for me again, worry etched in her eyes. “Are you going to be okay?” she asks.
I laugh boldly and roll my eyes. “When am I not okay? Ask anyone,” I smirk, gesturing around the party and the ocean of people who don’t know the real me at all. They know Simon Volkov. Party animal. Single. Always up for fun. Ruthless in business, but wild and free in social circles.
She doesn’t smile back at me. Instead, she scrunches her nose and throws me one of her perfectlyRayalooks. Like a stern mother scolding a child with nothing but a glance.
“I’ll catch up with you later,” I tell her before turning away.
Outside, the air is crisp for a summer night. It hits my cheeks, and I take in a sharp breath of it.
“Simon!” Raya calls from behind me as she runs after me. “Sorry, I forgot!”
“What?” I ask, turning towards her.
“Matvei wanted to talk to you before you left. He wanted to ask if you would help out with the kids tomorrow?”
“Doing what?”
“Taking them to the park. He’s busy, and I already said I would help, but he wants you there too,” she says. “It will also be the Nikolai kids, so I can’t really do it alone.”
Surprise flickers through me. “He wants me to babysit?” I ask, raising my brows.
“Yes, you’re really good with the kids,” she says.
“I love spending time with them, I mean, of course I’ll help, I’m just surprised Matvei trusts me with them.”
She scoffs and laughs. “Why in the world wouldn’t Matvei trust you with the kids. Don’t be a moron,” she says.
I smile a crooked smile, one corner of my mouth turning up. “Sure, um, I mean, I guess. It’s just you know how overprotective he is with them.”
Her smile softens. “So, I can tell him you’ll be there? Tomorrow at nine and Central Park by those big jungle gyms?”
“I’ll be there. Definitely,” my heart warms. I am crazy about those kids. If there is anything in this world that can still bring a genuine smile to my face, it’s his kids. Especially Emily, his daughter. She’s so full of mischief and wonder about everything in the world.
Raya says goodbye again, and I watch her walk back into the event. I’m frozen on the sidewalk, staring towards the building, thinking about my brother and his family. How I thought I would have a family by now.
I thought I was going to marry her. I planned to ask Selene.
