“I get it,” Mads said. She seemed to buy the lie completely. After all, it was exactly the kind of thing I could be expected to worry about. I didn’t think she would ever in her wildest imagination consider that my anxiety was the result of having impulsive, wild sex with my urban development professor in the boathouse within earshot of where my team had been practicing air strokes.
Nope, definitely not me.
“I get that you’re worried about that. But you should try and forget about it, just for a while. Enjoy yourself tonight, okay?Get your mind off it.” She linked her arm with mine as we approached the party location.
It was easy to spot some random house decked with ugly LED lights that were spilling out of the open windows and doors. I could already hear the pulsating base and see people milling about on the front lawn.
“Okay,” Madison said, turning to face me and putting her hands on my arms as she gave me one final assessment. “We both look hot as hell. Let’s go in there and have a good time, alright?”
I nodded, a genuine smile crossing my face this time. “Let’s go.”
Once we were let through the door, I realized just how big this party actually was. I hadn’t been expecting a small, intimate gathering, but this seemed to be more of a “friend of a friend” situation.
Madison and I weaved through the crowd, avoiding sweaty jocks and handsy drunks until we found some of our other friends. I excused myself to grab a drink from the table, letting the other girls dance together until I was tipsy enough to join them.
At the first taste, I already knew that his ungodly concoction was probably going to kill me in the morning. But in the meantime, it was going to hopefully give me exactly what I needed…a blank mind.
I made my way back to the others and joined them, surprising everyone, especially Mads. The alcohol was doing a good job of getting me buzzed quickly, and I enjoyed myself until the line between tipsy and drunk started blurring.
The feeling of guilt started crawling back in like a thief, stealing away the limited fun I’d been able to afford myself. I suddenlystarted thinking back to Lucas. I’d overstepped majorly. This was my degree at risk but also his career and reputation at stake.
The nuances wouldn’t matter. I would be labeled a slut and ladder-climber and all of the hard work I’d poured into my academics would be dismissed as a result of me sleeping with my professor. And Lucas would be labeled some kind of predator, taking advantage of his students.
I suddenly felt sick to my stomach. I gestured to Mads that I needed to get some air and hurried outside. The second the cool night air hit my face, I began to feel better, though my vision was still swimming under the influence of whatever unholy concoction I’d been sipping on.
“Hey,” a distinctly male voice tried to get my attention and I turned to see some random guy eying me like I was a piece of fresh meat. “You look like you’re looking to have a good time. Wanna grab a room upstairs?”
“No.” I said as firmly as I could.
The boy waited as though I hadn’t just delivered a full sentence. When it became obvious that I wasn’t going to budge, he tried to laugh it off.
“Oh come on, don’t be like that, baby,” he said, touching my arm. “I can show you a good time.”
My skin prickled in warning and suddenly the bile on my tongue was more from disgust than nausea. His hand was clammy on my arm and I tried to wrest it out of his grip but he wasn’t letting go.
“I said no,” I emphasized, my voice rising.
“Don’t be such a frigid bitch,” he said, his voice suddenly becoming menacing. “I asked if—”
“‘No’ is as good an answer as you’re going to get, asshole.” I recognized Mads’s voice and my body sagged in relief. She grabbed him by the shoulder and shoved until he stumbled away, looking pissed. “Now if you don’t back off, I have half a dozen big boys I can call to kick your ass. Scram.”
He ground his jaw, looking between Mads and me but then seemed to think better of it and scurried off like a rat into the darkness of the house.
“Thanks,” I said. I had never been happier to see my best friend.
“Don’t worry about it,” she said, putting an arm around me. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. I just think I wanna head back to the apartment,” I said.
I could see how disappointed she looked as she glanced at the party still continuing inside the house. “Okay. I’ll just go say bye to the others and we can leave.”
“No, you should stay, Mads,” I told her.
“I can’t let you go back by yourself,” she said.
“I’ll be fine. It’s like a ten-minute walk and honestly, I could use it,” I said. She still looked uncertain. I gave her a hug, then gently pushed her back in the direction of the party. “Enjoy yourself. I’ll text you when I get there, okay?”
“Fine,” she sounded uncertain but still relented. “Just don’t forget to let me know you got there safely, alright?” She handed me the keys.
