But this did nothing to soothe my feelings of anger and loss as evening came and went. Another day passed, and then another, with Thanatos and I cuddling chastely in my tiny bed behind my curtains. He did his best to keep my spirits up, even as I recognized his own patience fraying.
As our confinement stretched on, I tried to keep my mood neutral around my sisters, not wanting them to suffer anything more. But Zoe was right in that I did feel what I figured withdrawal must be like. I couldn’t have Thanatos the way I wanted him. I couldn’t eventalkto him—all I could do was tenderly braid his hair and stroke his inky feathers. It became our nightly ritual, after which I would lie down and enjoy his silent kisses and tales of the Underworld.
In my better moments, I realized how privileged I was to feel that this wasn’t enough. But the truth of the matter was that I’d become accustomed to the euphoria of sharing all of myself with him, and now I bristled under a sensation of constant emptiness. Irritation coiled tighter within me with every passingday, until it engulfed me so completely that I conjured an elaborate fantasy involving wielding the golden candelabra as a makeshift bludgeon.
Besides, I was not the only one dismayed by our new predicament. Thanatos despaired over it as well. In fact, being the only one who could speak seemed to drive his sappiness to new heights with every passing day. He even began to flit through the temple complex during the daytime, following Andrew’s activities in hopes of learning when I might be released. While his devotion was endearing, the evidence of his frustration dismayed me. That he would sacrifice time spent with souls in order to chase the living felt wrong—like a hairline crack in nature itself.
At first, his efforts were rewarded only with snippets of inconsequential gossip which he relayed to me as I braided his hair. But after weeks of pursuit, during which the two of us became ever more agitated, he returned to me triumphantly. Once I had settled between his wings and started to comb, he excitedly shared his new findings.
“Your overseer told his colleague today that your confinement must not be overlong,” he said brightly. “Alexandra has complained to him about the circumstances, defending you and saying that he cannot well continue this treatment on baseless grounds. He is becoming concerned over the optics of the situation.”
I put my comb aside and set to work on his braid, feeling guilty that Alex had needed to press the matter. Surely she was unhappy to be restrained along with the rest of us.
“It is in the man’s best interest to relent,” Thanatos rambled on, “because if he does not cease this nonsense soon, he may well meet the same fate as his predecessor.” I swallowed a giggle and swatted his shoulder in a playful rebuke. Thanatos laughed out loud. “I know, I know. I cannot maim every manwho slights you,” he said. “But Imissyou. I miss your touch. I miss your voice. I dearly miss hearing you say my name. After ages of terrorized invocations, only you have ever called upon it with lust.”
A swell of warmth crested within me. I made a quiet noise to signify my longing, my fingers still twined in his hair. When I tied off his braid, he turned to look over his shoulder.
“Tell me you miss me, too,” he pouted.
Oh, if only he knew how desperately I wanted him, how utterlystarvedI felt without his touch. How all I wanted was to make love to him and moan his name and tell him I was his. I cinched my arms around his waist and hugged him tightly from behind, my face pressed against his back.
“Of course you do,” Thanatos groaned, spiraling. “You miss me just as I miss you. You miss the pleasure of my hands and my tongue. You miss feeling my cock fill you up. Isn’t that right, my naughty priestess?”
The heat within me nestled in my pelvis and flared. I squeezed his waist harder, bristling with aching frustration. OfcourseI wanted what we couldn’t have. Why did he have to torture us both?
Thanatos circled his hands around my wrists and tugged my embrace open, extricating himself from my hold. He slid down from my mattress, forcing me to duck under the sweeping arc of his wing, and stood over me with darkened eyes. “Get in the bed, Cyrie,” he ordered.
I raised a questioning brow even as the heat inside screamed for me to obey.We can’t.
He nodded, as if reading my thoughts. “I know that it would be insensitive to your sisters to care formyneeds here,” he agreed. “But you cannot tell me that you refrain from servicing yourself in this bed.” A mischievous grin curved uponhis lips. “Yes, surely you do. Surely you lie here and think of me when you are lonely and wanting.”
I bit my lip, pulse quickening, restraint fading. I held his gaze and slipped slowly beneath my sheets, leaving space for him beside me. Thanatos took my invitation. He had lain with me here many times before, but never so recklessly as he did now. This time, he joined me under the covers.
He propped himself up on an elbow and loomed over me, a vision of temptation. His feathers rustled behind him as they slid over the edge of my bed toward the floor. His other hand settled on my ribs, with only my thin sleepwear as a barrier between us.
“I am not here,” he murmured, and he shifted his hand upward to cup my breast. “I am imperceptible to all but you. You may as well be dreaming of me. Imagining the way I touch you.” He stroked teasing circles around my nipple with his thumb.
I stifled a gasp, biting my own lip to hold the sound inside.
“Let me take care of you,” Thanatos begged, his voice a breathy moan. “You can tap me if you want me to stop.”
I nodded vigorously, abandoning all control. I could never refuse him. Not when I already needed his hand lower than where it was.
He touched me delicately at first, softly brushing the peaks of my nipples, watching the deepening of my blush. His tender caresses sent tingles down my stomach and across my hips, bursts of pleasure chased by escalating want. He moved down to my inner thighs, stroking lightly upward, stopping just short of where I needed him. Teasing me, again. I caught his eyes, begging with my gaze, and received a self-satisfied smirk in reply.
“Impatient as always,” he chided, but his voice betrayed his desire. He needed this almost as much as I did. He cast his pretense aside and finally,finally, reached beneath my nightdress and rubbed me through my sopping underwear.He massaged devastating circles into my clit, and the rush of pleasure was too much. I arched my back and drew a sharp breath. Involuntary sounds gathered in my throat, threatening to burst.
In an instant reaction, Thanatos covered my mouth with his free hand. “Shh,” he implored.
I looked him in the eyes, feeling at once dominated and freed. This man could do anything to me. Anything. And I would probably like it.
Recognition lit his face. “Do you like that, Cyrie? Well then, we have much to explore when you are released. But as for now…”
He pushed my underwear aside and brushed his finger along my entrance. My hips arched in reflex, straining for the penetration he withheld. On another day, he would’ve teased me until I begged. Tonight, he acquiesced.
The relief was instant, but fleeting. I clamped my muscles around him as my crest of satisfaction was overpowered by an all-consuming need for more. I scrunched up my sheets in my hands, my breath shuddering against the forced silence.
“You’re so wet,” he moaned. “So warm. Oh, fuck. I want…” A strained whine escaped him, but he closed his eyes and cleared his throat. “I want you to come.”
