He rubs at his temples, shaking his head. “I’m so sorry for all the pain I’ve caused. I fucked up and then I held my ground, even after you told me point-blank what you wanted. I fumbled so badly.”
With a heavy sigh, he inches closer, one arm outstretched.
“Come home with me,” he implores. “Let me make you something to eat. You can take a bath. We can both sleep, and in the morning, we’ll unpack all this and figure it out together.”
It’s an offer I would have jumped at two hours ago. I would love to follow him home. To let him grovel, and to figure everything out together. But after tonight, and now that I understand the power this man has over me, I have to resist.
I slide out of my seat and step back, putting distance between us. “I can’t,” I tell him. The tears finally come, because I have to reject the offer despite how desperate I am to take it.
But saying yes to Alaric’s offer is saying no to myself, and I’m done not prioritizing my own best interest for the sake of a man.
I’ve spent too many years accepting less than I deserve from people who don’t even like me. And here Alaric is, thinking he can just whisk me away and brush all the trauma he’s inflicted under the rug. The audacity is enough to reignite my fury and fuel my need to fully erect the defenses around my heart.
“Angel, please.”
I gasp, tightness seizing my lungs as tears stream down my face.
“The answer is no. Tuesday night…” I look away, swiping at my damp cheeks. With a shuddering breath, I refocus on him. “Tuesday night, you didn’t just break up with me; you broke me. I trusted you,” I force out. “I didn’t have a single doubt, worry, or reservation about our relationship. Then you blindsided me and simultaneously destroyed the pedestal I had placed you on.”
My chest shudders as I inhale, but I straighten my spine and go on.
“Maybe it wasn’t fair of me to regard you so highly. Maybe I was naïve to believe you were different, that what we had was special. That you’d never hurt me.”
“Evangeline, what we?—”
“No.” I hold up one hand. “I’m not done speaking.”
Face falling, he snaps his mouth shut.
“You broke me. You made me feel incredibly small. You treated me the way every other person I’ve ever dated has. That’s the worst feeling in the world for me,” I confess. “And the saddest part? I knew something wasn’t right. I could feel you pulling away earlier in the day. But I ignored my intuition. I believed your lies and fell right back into old habits, convincing myself that it was all in my head and that I was overreacting. That I was overthinking. That my brain was the problem.”
Sniffling, I pull in another shaky breath, praying my legs don’t buckle and that I can get through this.
“My brain’s not the problem,” I say. “I’m not too much. And I never expected you of all people to make me feel that way.” I shake my head, the fragments of my heart crumbling further. “I—I loved you, Alaric. But I can’t be with someone I can’t trust with my heartandmy head.”
“Youcantrust me, angel. I swear it. If you’ll just?—”
I hold up a hand. “It’s too late. You’ve already proven otherwise. Ispent the last two years of my life feeling like shit about myself every day. I don’t want to feel like that anymore, or ever again.”
His face crumples and a tear crests his lashes. He looks as devastated as I feel.
I ache to comfort him, even though he’s the one who caused this pain. But I have to choose myself this time. I have to choose myself from now on.
“This is all your fault, you know,” I accuse with a pathetic, watery laugh.
“What do you mean?” His sniffles, cutting through the tension as we face off, out of fight and absolutely destroyed by the way this is all falling apart.
I grip the edge of the counter, resisting the urge to go to him and put us both out of our misery.
“You showed me what I deserved,” I say instead. “I’ve spent so much of my life feeling like I was too much and not enough all wrapped in one underwhelming, overreacting package. But you never made me feel that way. I always felt valued, and before the other night, I never felt small in our relationship. Now that I know that level of love and respect is an option, it’s all I want. It’s all I’m willing to accept.”
Fresh tears cascade down his face, but he makes no move to wipe them away.
“You aren’t too much, and I’m so sorry I made you feel that way for even a second. I was determined to end things as swiftly as possible to protect you and minimize the fallout. But—” He groans, scrubbing away at more tears. “I get it,” he says. “And I agree. You deserve better. You deserveeverything. I don’t want you to settle, angel. Not for anyone.” He swallows slowly, his voice cracking as he adds, “Not even for me.”
We stand like that, eyes locked, silent, as the weight of mutual heartbreak holds us hostage.
There’s nothing left to say.
