I looked down, refusing to turn back to him.
“Your father left,” he informed me, but I didn’t care—my father meant nothing to me. I’d lost the game and lost the one person who was my whole life.
Xavier tightened his grip. "Stay with me tonight. I’ve been patient."
And at this, my gaze found his. I knew this was coming. I’d prayed with all my energy that I’d have a chance to kill myself first.
Xavier’s face softened when I looked at him, like he remembered something. Slowly, he stepped closer and murmured, “We can take it slow.” He raised his hand to my cheek, and I recoiled. “I want to make you happy. Give me a chance.”
I stared at him, his eyes mellow for the first time ever, but I was burning.
“Achance?Youkilledmy boyfriend.Fuck! You!”
The ‘nice guy’ mask fell off instantly. Anger blazed in his eyes and his nostrils flared. "Don't push it, Jade. I'mofferingyou to come with me." He looked me over with nothing but disrespect.
"How considerate,” I scoffed, that blind rage overtaking me. “You're offeringnotto rape me? You're a gentleman after all!" My hand felt for the door handle, but he grabbed it before I could.
"Let’s not use such crude words. I’m entitled to what was promised to me.”
Xavier stepped closer.
My heart dropped into my stomach.
Promised?!I didn’t promise him anything!
“I understand that you liked slutting yourself out to some lowlife criminal, but that time is over. You have a responsibility to someone else now."
I laughed—for the first time in three months. It was painful and dark, and ithurt.
“I’d rather be hisslutuntil the end of time than sleep with you,” I gritted, ripping my wrist out of his grasp. “I’d rather hefuck meuntil I can’t walk than let you touch me with a finger! Fuck! Off!”
My shout echoed in the hallway, and Xavier’s eyes widened in surprise, but there was no winning this. Quickly, he composed himself and lunged for my waist, swinging my body over his shoulder.
“Let go! Letgo!”I kicked. I punched. I screamed.
But he was the one in control.
It would happen. He would rape me, and then I would kill myself.
Xavier stepped into his room and threw me onto his bed like I was a piece of meat, promptly stepping back and away. Both scared out of my mind and completely devoid of all emotions, I scampered up his bed, waiting for the attack, but instead, he just stood there with his hands in his pockets.
It was like a tomb—quiet, cold, and dark.
And then, to my wild surprise, Xavier sat down on the bed and hung his head, loudly sighing.
What the fuck was this?
“I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry. I didn’t think you’d bethatupset.” I blinked at him in the darkness, pressed against his headboard. “But…I want to make it work between us, so just tell me. Tell me what I have to do for you to forgive me, and I’ll do it. Whatever it is, Jade.” He sighed again, as if this was difficult forhim.
I gulped down my tears, knowing that I was all alone with this psychotic monster who seemed to genuinely believe we could make it work.
I just feel so broken.
I want to protect you from whatever you’re scared of. I’m right here.
The tears dripped off my chin while the memory dissipated.
“I love you, Jade.” Xavier turned to me fully. "You've hurt me and I've hurt you, but I know we can work through this. Youhave tostop ignoring me,” he almost pleaded, all his words disorienting. “I've been seeing a therapist these past few monthsand I'm working on it. On making myself better for you. Less angry. And I've stopped doing coke. Almost."
