“Oh, hello, Sweetheart,” she gushed, using the chair arms to pull herself to her feet to greet me. I rushed over, trying not to make it too obvious that I didn’t trust she wouldn’t fall, and kissed both her cheeks before easing her back into the chair.
“Mamma, you look beautiful as always,” I said with a smile, taking the seat beside her.
She swatted her hand at me. “Oh, Sani. Always the charmer of the family, just like yourpapi.”
I smiled wider, knowing I had the woman I had grown up loving with me at this moment, because she hadn’t gone a day in her life without comparing me to my father. And I lived for it. I was four years old when he was murdered protectingMamma, so all I had of him were photographs and her stories. For years, she couldn’t even talk about him without it sending her into depression, but then she got better, and I learned all about the great man I strived to be. Selfishly, that was one of the things about this situation I dreaded most. That she’d stop remembering to share those stories.
“How are you,Mamma?”
“Oh, so-so.” She smiled, patting down the silk scarf wrapped around her neck. “How are you,Tesoro? How is Rome?”
“Very well.” I wouldn’t dare burden her with my problems, but there was something I’d been dying to tell her. “I’ve met someone… the woman of my dreams.”
Her whole face softened. “Oh, my boy. That’s wonderful! What’s her name?”
“Arianna.” I couldn’t help but fucking beam when I said it.
Mammarepeated it slowly, with a whimsical tone, as if she approved.
“Very pretty.” Then her smile dropped, replaced by a sudden shift of confusion and worry as she glanced back at me. “Have I met her?”
“No,Mamma,” I said, taking her hand in mine with a reassuring smile. “Not yet. But soon.”
“Oh,bravo,” she said, her whole body relaxing in the knowledge that she hadn’t forgotten, while something deep inside me ached. I squeezed her hand a little tighter.
“Would you like to see a photo of her?”
“Si!What a question, Sani! Let me see who has stolen my baby’s heart.”
I chuckled, pulling out my phone and opening my photo gallery to choose oneof the many pictures I’d secretly taken of Aria over the last few days. I glanced up to findMammafrowning and looking around for something she’d lost.
“What has she done with them?” she snapped, her tone laced with frustration. “She keeps moving all my things, Sani.”
“Who? What are you looking for?”
“Raya. She keeps moving my things. My… you know… the things I wear… the things to see with… with the holes.”
“Your glasses?” I guessed, my eyebrows furrowing as I watched her grow increasingly agitated.
“Si. My glasses. Where’s the girl put—”
“Mamma,”I said softly, reaching up to take them from where they were perched on her head. “They’re here. On top of your head.”
“Oh, silly woman,” she laughed, taking them from me and putting them on. I smiled, pretending it was nothing, though the pain tightened. A twist of grief I masked so she wouldn’t see it. That’s the worst part. This disease was slowly taking my mother away from me, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. There’s no sudden goodbye; it’s just hundreds of tiny ones I’ll never see coming.
“Show me, show me,” she encouraged, pointing at the phone in my hand. I leaned in closer, flicking through the photos while Mamma made soft sounds of approval. “Oh, she’s lovely, Sani. I’m so pleased you’ve met someone. Tell me what she’s like.”
“She reminds me a lot of you,Mamma,” I said, pushing my phone back into my pocket. “She’s smart and ambitious. She works as a night-time hospital administrator.”
“That’s an important job. She must be very responsible.”
“Si,” I smiled. “She’s funny, too. I don’t think she realises how much she amuses me. She’s witty and fierce, and she isn’t afraid to put me in my place.”
“Bravo,” Mamma nodded. “You need that, my reckless boy.”
I chuckled. “Si. But she’s also caring and sweet. You should see how she goes out of her way to look after her patients and colleagues at work. She has this innocence and vulnerability about her that has me hooked, but she’s not weak. She’s curious and drawn to darkness. She’s my little rebel.”
“Si,” Mamma placed her hand over her heart. “She sounds just like me.” She grabbed my face in her hands. “You deserve only the best, someone who will love you for who you are.”
