I took Cash’s hands in mine, pulling him forward gently. He came easily, his forehead resting against my shoulder. I put my arms around him. We probably wouldn’t be able to stay like this for long because it was cramped and awkward, and it’d be painful even after a little while, but that was okay. It was what Cash needed now.
His breathing slowed at last.
I rubbed his back. “Did you have a nightmare about the shower?”
“I don’t know,” he whispered.
“Okay,” I said. I thought of Lee, of last night, and of what taking that step away from Cash had cost, and said, “It’s okay. I won’t leave you again, Cash. Not ever.”
Not for anything, and not for anyone.
CHAPTER 14
LEE
“Ithought you were going to the movies,” Mom said as I walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table. “Where’s Chase?”
I slumped in my chair. “At his place.”
Mom slammed the dishwasher closed, making everything inside rattle, and then took a look at my face. “What’s happened? Is everything okay with you two? You didn’t have a fight, did you?”
“No, it wasn’t a fight. He just… something came up with his brother, so he says he’ll call me later.”
“That doesn’t explain why you look like your dog died.” She sat down beside me. “What’s really going on?”
“I mean, I don’t know,” I said. I reached out and straightened a pile of junk mail that nobody had put in the recycling yet. “Just, I have no idea about his life, you know? But a few things have happened that make me think there’s some really messed-up stuff in his background, and it’s not as though he owes me an explanation or anything, but…” I shrugged.
“But what?” Mom asked.
“But it just seems really complicated.”
Mom smiled slightly. “Well, just because a relationship is complicated doesn’t mean it’s not worth the effort.”
“I know,” I said.
“Honey, if I hadn’t decided to dive headfirst into complicated, you and Sam wouldn’t be here.” Mom’s smile was tinged with sadness, the way it always was when she thought about Dad.
“I know,” I said again. “And I don’t have a problem putting the effort into a relationship with Chase, because I do think he’s worth it.” I let out a breath and, along with it, the gnawing worry that had been bothering me all the way from Goose Run. “I just don’t know if he’s gonna want to meet me halfway, you know? I don’t know if he even can.”
Mom put her hand over mine. “It’s new, Lee. Sometimes you have to give things a little time to see how they’re gonna work, or not work.”
She was right, but this felt like more than just the growing pains of a new relationship. I couldn’t explain without telling her exactly what was going on, though—and none of it was my story to tell. I thought of Chase and the look on his face the day he thought I’d locked him in the walk-in. And I thought of his brother, who didn’t talk but who’d punched me in the face the first time I met him because I’d mistaken him for Chase and touched him, and who today had been sitting on the floor of a closet refusing to come out. He’d talked today, but not enough to paint a very clear picture. Not for me or any of their roommates at least, but when Cash had said, “He put me under the shower and you weren’t here,” the color had drained from Chase’s face so fast that I’d been worried he’d pass out.
I’d wanted to stay, I’d wanted to help in any way I could—hell, even if I couldn’t help, I’d still wanted to be there for him—except Chase had told me to go away. Twice. What was itthat Chase always said? He didn’tneedhelp. That felt like some bullshit to me, but it was clear he didn’twanthelp.
Mom squeezed my hand. “Want to come shopping with me and Sam?”
“Nah,” I said. “I’ve got stuff to do. But thanks.”
I spent the rest of the day doing some jobs around the house. I did the laundry, mowed the lawn, put the junk mail in the recycling, and I even remembered to change the bulb on the stairs to the basement, because everyone had been complaining about it for weeks but nobody had gotten around to doing it yet.
I sent a text to Chase as well.
Hey, I hope you’re both okay.
He didn’t answer. He also didn’t call like he’d said he would. I wasn’t really surprised. When Mom came back from shopping with Sam, they put on a movie. I went and joined them to stop myself checking my phone every two minutes, and Sam sat next to me on the couch while I tried not to think about how the empty space on the other side of me suddenly felt too big.
On Monday morning,Tyler was already waiting in the parking lot when I got to work and grinning like the cat that got the cream.
